Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I wish there was a job title for "good all-arounder with knowledge of the state of the art in a role with substantial self-direction", but I think that's probably "founder" or something. Or "owner of a very small business" maybe? That's the way I am drifting. I just can't seem to get in gear on my own. :(
Why's that? I've been thinking about starting my own side company. It is a lot of work!
Part of it is having trouble focusing on a single idea. Finding the right partner would help here: see #1.
Part of it is fluctuating levels of depression sapping my motivation outside, and sometimes inside, work. I have been fighting this for almost a decade. At one point several years ago the mere thought of doing things outside of work so reinforced how miserable I was in my day job that I couldn't get anything done.
I'm slowly working through my barriers. My most recent dip into the job market has demonstrated that the only way I am going to get the job I want where I want it is to make it myself, so I have renewed motivation to get moving.