The double life of Hasidic atheists

I have experience with the something like former and while I'd characterize it as very positive, it doesn't quite compare to the community of the church I used to be an active member of.

My impression is that some of these initiatives emulate the 'wrong' parts of church. While I'm not certain of this, I suspect that this has something to do with the fact that many churches in more recent times have made the same mistake, and these initiatives often involve people with a background in these kinds of churches. My background is Evangelical, and in my opinion they do 'community' extremely well. Perhaps they're the best 'form' to emulate, and since the 'content' is often relatively... flimsy, it is easily replaced with other things.

That said, the initiatives I've experienced were still very worthwhile and enjoyable!

Let me elaborate. Via meetup.com a friend of mine organized meetings every two weeks. Rather than follow the 'Sunday service' model, it was closer to the 'weekday small-group' model that is part of most churches, and particularly important Evangelical ones (to the point of using the Sunday as little more than evangelism).

We'd meet in a group of around 8-14 people and after some initial conversation, we'd split up into groups with a piece of text chosen by the conversation leader. This could be a bible passage, but also something else entirely. Then, we'd start talking about the topic, following a few basic rules. Most crucially, we were strongly encouraged to not primarily debate or discuss our viewpoints, but to try and keep things personal and focused on experience. This, of course, created bonds through the (forced) openness and the resulting recognition and empathy.

Afterwards, we'd go to a bar and just mingle and talk about whatever. Usually much of that would be spending more time talking about the topic we'd discussed earlier.

Many people came because they were tired of 'empty' conversations in the typical social events, often because they had a desire to discuss 'higher' things with 'smart people'. Some ended up disappointed that they had little room to espouse their views and belittle the 'superficial people' with an in-group, but most came to appreciate and value the personal, meaningful conversations. And, of course, inevitably the 'intellectuals' would end up discussing philosophy or religion and the like anyways, but now with a foundation of empathy and friendship.

It was also extremely valuable to see a mixed group of individuals that would often not associate or even avoid each other. One of my favorite regulars was a guy who owned a printing-press in a neighboring city and just came by because his adopted 16-year old daughter wanted to attend. He had a lot of trouble with the 'level' of conversation initially, and clearly was not used to talking about intellectual things or sharing personal-ish stuff. But over time he came to enjoy the thoughtful conversation and the free-form 'pub time' afterwards and many of us, in turn, came to appreciate that he was not just some 'simpleton' and often contributed immensely to the conversation by virtue of having a very different, more experiential outlook on life (and a very different past).

Some of the most valuable things that I had as a church member and that I always missed were the community, the personal interaction within such groups, the encouragement to show at least some vulnerability, and the mix of wildly different people exchanging views and experiences. And those were the best things that these 'sunday assembly' type initiatives offered, in my opinion.

"I just want a large community of people who stick together, follow a common moral code, support each other, and have regular social events."

It's called Humanist - see if there's a community in your area. It has a common moral code based on the rejection of the supernatural and it's actually voted on every few years. I would define Humanism as pragmatic atheism which steals the best parts of religion - community, charity work, choirs, regular meetups etc.

I assume that the quote from Pesachim 50b that you are referring to is "metoch shlo lishma bah lishma", which means that if you do what G-d commanded for your own sake (because G-d will reward you), then you'll eventually come to do it for his sake. This is talking about someone who actually believes they are doing what G-d commanded. I have never heard it interpreted as someone who doesn't believe at all. The talmud says that "mitzvos tzrichus kevanah". In order to actually perform what G-d commanded, you have to realize and recognize that you are doing what G-d commanded. Without any belief in G-d, no matter what actions you do, Judaism teaches that you are not doing anything at all. Judaism is a religion of thought and action. If you have a complete lack of one of those two things, you are not observing the religion whatsoever.

Amen.

I've also wrestled with these thoughts growing up. Atheists don't have the same sense of community that religious people do. Sure, I've done the meet up thing, sports, music, etc. but they all fizzle out. Nothing keeps people coming back day after day. Music festivals happen once a year, church happens every week with more than just a handful of people.

And reading all the suggestions below, I don't understand why people are recommending alternative religions. He stated he wanted the community, without the belief.

This is why I miss school. It was something that got a bunch of people together on a regular basis. You didn't personally meet, hang out with or like every individual person, but I think it had what the OP is asking for.

I am a Mormon and cutting off contact and shunning someone is definitely an outlier. That is not what we believe nor teach. In fact in the most recent worldwide training (called General Conference which happens every 6 months) there were two trainings, or talks given about reaching out to and supporting those who had left the church. Believing in Jesus Christ means we try and act like Him. And it is clear what he would do. “What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?” (Luke 15:4). Of course individual actions and reactions will vary and shunning and ostracizing might unfortunately happen a lot, but that is not at all what the Church teaches or hopes for.