Goodbye? • Hacker News Board

Re: Goodbye?

#111

Post by dimino » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 7:11 PM UTC

aa0981nahsdn wrote: post #109

mist12 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry, I really don't think delinking this post is the answer. This person is likely amongst those "who might actually be hurting" - try some compassion, it will do you good.

It's reasonable to think that the person you're responding to is also in the "might actually be hurting" category, suicide of a family member is generally traumatic and life changing. We can show them and OP compassion at the same time. 'Nice' means we just do what they say and delink the post, 'kind' means we try to understand where they're coming from and try to help them understand that while we value their opinio…

I'm just saying that there are lots of people here already doing the 'kind' thing, so maybe it's about time to do the 'nice' thing for the folks who haven't been burdened by this yet.

Re: Goodbye?

#112

Post by nap » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 7:22 PM UTC

chrismarlow9 wrote: post #91

mvanvoorden wrote: post #5

If it all doesn't matter anymore anyway, then you got nothing to lose. Find (psychedelic) shrooms somewhere, eat a portion, and reconsider your choice after your trip. It saved my life.

I ate mushrooms once while depressed and saw devil faces on everything. It didn't help. Needless to say, this is bad advice.

I ate some psychedelics once while depressed hardly (sometimes it went into strong panic attacks), it was worst trip I ever had. I was just had to wait when it end up. But when it was gone I finally realized a lot of things about myself, about my life. It was clearest moment, like puzzles finally formed, everything became understandable. Like I was holding my breath all time and finally exhaled. I understood what it was destroying me inside and throwed it away. It just saved me a life.

Re: Goodbye?

#113

Post by rastem » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 7:37 PM UTC

Before drastic action, I recommend living a month away from the environment that engenders these feelings. It's a plane ticket and extended hotel stay away. Don't go thinking you must come back. Go looking for excuses to stay.

I hope this little sliver of advice can help. Good luck, from all of us who've felt pain. You're not alone.

Re: Goodbye?

#114

Post by dang » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 8:27 PM UTC

dimino wrote: post #110

mist12 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry, I really don't think delinking this post is the answer. This person is likely amongst those "who might actually be hurting" - try some compassion, it will do you good.

> Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry That's not true, I don't think, and your dispassionate "grow some balls" comment at the end is pretty ironic and certainly hurtful. :( I hope I'm misunderstanding what you meant by that...

I'm sorry about your step brother and understand how pain can flare up like this. But please don't take this argument further; it only makes things worse. Let's apply the principle of charity and assume that the GP didn't mean to hurt you.

Re: Goodbye?

#115

Post by arjunvpaul » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 8:39 PM UTC

bruceb wrote: post #98

arjunvpaul wrote: post #31

"When one realizes that his life is worthless he either commits suicide or travels." go somewhere, do something. message me if you would like need some ideas.

Lot of people commit suicide when they travel. You are a away from home, lonely, no support system. I think travel is great but not always a answer for suicidal people http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/world/story/2012-05-04/a...

thanks for the fascinating article. I agree, it is not always the answer. Travel may be an opportunity to get a whole new perspective - like realizing your own value in helping less privileged people, or seeing opportunities that you may not have come across in your own town or country.

Re: Goodbye?

#116

Post by chrismarlow9 » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 8:46 PM UTC

nap wrote: post #112

chrismarlow9 wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I ate mushrooms once while depressed and saw devil faces on everything. It didn't help. Needless to say, this is bad advice.

I ate some psychedelics once while depressed hardly (sometimes it went into strong panic attacks), it was worst trip I ever had. I was just had to wait when it end up. But when it was gone I finally realized a lot of things about myself, about my life. It was clearest moment, like puzzles finally formed, everything became understandable. Like I was holding my breath all time and finally exhaled. I understood what it…

Oh for sure it left me with some lessons about myself after the fact. But in hindsight I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they have a very seasoned therapist present (not just a sitter) and plan to go fully medical with it or not at all.

Re: Goodbye?

#117

Post by mist12 » Fri, Jun 05, 2015, 8:49 PM UTC

dimino wrote: post #110

mist12 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry, I really don't think delinking this post is the answer. This person is likely amongst those "who might actually be hurting" - try some compassion, it will do you good.

> Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry That's not true, I don't think, and your dispassionate "grow some balls" comment at the end is pretty ironic and certainly hurtful. :( I hope I'm misunderstanding what you meant by that...

I am very far from dispassionate on this subject. Like the OP and many of the other people posting, I've struggled with severe depression and I know from personal experience, talking with many others in the industry (specifically in SV) and talking to people in the medical field that there is a lot of anxiety and depression around. I am very sorry that you've experienced the loss of a family member, and I didn't mean to be hurtful. I simply meant to say that, in my personal opinion, delinking the post is not helpful as it simply papers over a problem which exists.

Re: Goodbye?

#118

Post by justizin » Sat, Jun 06, 2015, 12:01 AM UTC

chrismarlow9 wrote: post #116

nap wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I ate some psychedelics once while depressed hardly (sometimes it went into strong panic attacks), it was worst trip I ever had. I was just had to wait when it end up. But when it was gone I finally realized a lot of things about myself, about my life. It was clearest moment, like puzzles finally formed, everything became understandable. Like I was holding my breath all time and finally exhaled. I understood what it…

Oh for sure it left me with some lessons about myself after the fact. But in hindsight I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they have a very seasoned therapist present (not just a sitter) and plan to go fully medical with it or not at all.

Blech. Read about set and setting.

Sometimes the _day_ that you feel most suicidal is perhaps not the time to engage with psychedelics, but if you can peel yourself up a little, it can offer great perspective.

Medical is scary to me honestly. Psychedelics shouldn't be so clinical, and fearing them is only fearing yourself.

That said, they're not for everyone.

Re: Goodbye?

#119

Post by ukoms » Sat, Jun 06, 2015, 7:56 AM UTC

Dear You! Don't kill yourself. This one thing we all cannot escape, it's true. But don't rush to it. I've got diagnosed mind sickness which is commonly reffered as "depression". I live in constantinous fear of dying. I was once in point where i was so afraid o death I wanted to kill myself. Then it hit me - killing myself because of fear of death is... illogical (yeah, I know - weird, but hey - this is HN, you get it...).

I didn't believe in medicine, psychiatrists and all "you can live with that" crap. Yet, i went to doctor. I went to therapist. And for about five weeks it was hell. I was affraid more than before, I was so narrowed my vision was almost all blackfield with small, foggy point of view. This was hardest thing I did in my grownup life - endure it.

Guess what - it got better. No, my life hasn't changed a bit - my credits wasn't payd off, my fears didn't vanished, I still had to go to work every morning and I knew I am going to die one day. BUT - and this is most important thing - MY PERSPECTIVE CHANGED. I know I can face all this.

I don't know anything about You. I don't know what had happened to You. Yet I know one thing - you always have a choice. Yes, on the one hand - you can kill yourself, BUT! - on the other hand - you can live. I won't tell you - think about others before you harm yourself. This is bullshit, when you are facing live-or-die choice. In death we all are alone so we can think only by ourselves. So I'm asking you, begging you for real - think about everything you are. You are far better than you think! You are the only one in the world!

You managed to make someone laugh, you did good in your life, you faced tens and thousands problems and won over them, you can do something no one else can do in a way no one else can replicate (even if it's eating a cookie with knife and fork), you have dreams that are waiting to be fulfilled, you have so many tortillas to eat, you can become millionare in a blink of an eye, you can meet love of your life, you have all your life waiting for you.

Please - choose yourself living. God be with You.

Re: Goodbye?

#120

Post by xxxmaster » Sat, Jun 06, 2015, 9:14 AM UTC

I am not sure in what situation you are, but before thinking on what you think is the problem, check if you are completely healthy. Even when we think that the situation is crystal clear and we have tried everything and we have all the control over everything, please keep in mind your mental health is tightly coupled with your body's health. The picture is not the same when seen from a different perspective. Even if you do not feel pain or anything you can suffer from something you didn't know and it changes the only thing you trust - your brain. Do not be in a rush try everything in this life and take most of it.

I will always remember a phrase from a movie, where a little girl (suffering from a serious disease) was asked "Do you know what happens after life?" and she responded "There are many different ice-cream flavors that I still haven't tried, I want to try as many as possible when I still have the chance. Then one day I will understand what happens after life - that day will come anyway."

Go get an icecream and see what you can try tomorrow! Be healthy, stay alive!