Goodbye?

Hey! Been there. You are not alone. Nowhere close, that's just how depression makes you feel. You're already reaching out, that's great, keep reaching and while most people won't get it those of us who have been through it will recognize where you are and some will reach back. That's how we got out, and some day you'll be the person who's reaching back and trying to help people get through it.

First, and most importantly, if you're _very_ depressed you may need help to break through the veil of darkness that's surrounding you. Peace and happiness are still in this world and their seeds are still in your heart, but depression is system of barriers that you may need very real and tangible help to break through. Sometimes our minds malfunction a little bit, it's in their nature.

If you love HN maybe check out the vlogbros 3 minute talk on perspective and depression[0]. It's the nerdiest account of depression I've ever heard. They also have a crash course on psychology[1] which might make psychology less unknown and therefore less scary if that's maybe a reason you're turning to us instead of a psychologist who is probably better equipped to help you (I'm only guessing based on reasons I don't go to the doctor when I need to.)

[0] - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ooCeoh6608 [1] - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo4pMVb0R6M&list=PL8dPuuaLjX...

call me at +961 71 371133. i'm no organisation, i'm just an ordinary person like you. So if you feel like talking to someone give me a call anytime.

I've experienced this sort of feeling a lot. It's not something I like to talk about with professional colleagues because I am the guy you expect to be more reliable than you, and if I am sometimes curled up in a depressed ball unsure if I want to keep breathing, how can I be more reliable than you?

Don't do it. You reached out, that's good.

What really got me out of the habit of thinking this way - basically a huge distraction from the things you need to do to make yourself happy - was to try and imagine if there was possibly a way to disappear completely without making the lives of the other people I know worse.

I will say, in my early years in San Francisco as a student, whenever I felt like there was absolutely no hope, I would take a $2 train to the beach, take my shoes off, and walk the entire length experiencing how small I am and comparing my relatively insignificant problems to the vastness of the ocean.

Unfortunately, we can't all have that, but everyone can go outside, stop listening to the same music or whatever over and over and just watch a squirrel climb a tree, two ducks fight over a piece of bread, talk to a homeless person.

And whoever's actions you feel are linked to the way you feel right now, surgically remove them from your life.

Every time I haven't ended my life, I've had the opportunity to experience amazing things that I couldn't even imagine.

The crossroad is an illusion. If you attempt and fail - the most common outcome - you could find yourself further burdened.

This is what I don't understand as well. I'm sure there's a feeling that things will never get better, but for the people who're considering suicide because they lost their job/they're in debt/whatever external, why not just pack up and leave to a distant country to start a new life? There's literally nothing more final than killing yourself, so why not just give starting a new life a shot?

> Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry

That's not true, I don't think, and your dispassionate "grow some balls" comment at the end is pretty ironic and certainly hurtful. :( I hope I'm misunderstanding what you meant by that...