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Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

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Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#31

Post by blazespin »

kraig911 wrote: post #18
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Investing money, creating new products, and all the other things we do are wonderful games and can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's all just a game. I feel like this sentiment is very common, but is implicitly stating that all of the other things, family, friends, personal health etc... are not games - when I don't see why that would be the case. Nothing distinguishes those things for me. Cre…

I too used to think this way. I can't explain it now that I have a child and family and have lost people very close to me. Where as before the mere thought of innovating I felt like I was some of the first people ever to be doing something where in now I find it was all just a race. I.E. - Someone else could've finished that super fancy product and made lots of money. Just today I missed my daughter swimming for the…

It is a part of that being good to yourself he talks about. Creating things, lasting impactful things, is a great favor we all do ourselves. Martin Luther king wrote about it well in the 3 dimensions of man. Man being all he can be, is his length. It's an important dimension. But you must balance that with your breadth and height. Outwards to others and your spirituality. Worth a good read. http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documen...

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#32

Post by nostrademons »

AndrewKemendo wrote: post #23
kraig911 wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I too used to think this way. I can't explain it now that I have a child and family and have lost people very close to me. Where as before the mere thought of innovating I felt like I was some of the first people ever to be doing something where in now I find it was all just a race. I.E. - Someone else could've finished that super fancy product and made lots of money. Just today I missed my daughter swimming for the…

I can't explain it now that I have a child and family and have lost people very close to me. As I posted to someone below you, I am married and have three kids. I have also lost a lot of my friends - I am an Iraq war veteran and was in the Air Force from 2003 until last Feb. All of that has led me to my conclusion because I see what is left after these people have gone away - and largely it's...nothing. Once their fr…

You tend to get what you value, so if you believe that your legacy is more important than your close personal relationships, there's nothing anyone on Hacker News could say that will make that "wrong".

Just remember that everybody's legacy is fleeting. In a generation, Steve Jobs will probably be remembered like the Duesenberg brothers.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#33

Post by aaa667 »

curun1r wrote: post #12

Reading this took me back to the experience of grieving for my dad. The realization that it will never be okay, but that I can become more okay with it never being okay. The bizarre feeling of grief so unbearable and yet it being one of the few connections left to someone so important to me, and so being unwilling to let go of it. Even to this day, I revel in that grief. I've learned to look at it as consequence of s…

As someone experiencing grief for the first time one and a half weeks ago, I'm beginning to understand that bizarreness of grief - the ups and downs, that void..

A lot of people I've spoken to who have experienced grief tell me the same thing - that it will never be ok, but that you can become more ok with it - that you will have moments where you briefly forget and that you get more of these moments over time. I could never have understood this emotion before - I thought it was like in the movies where you're constantly crying, but it's a lot more complex and strange than that..

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#34

Post by jalonso510 »

sliverstorm wrote: post #27
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't explain it now that I have a child and family and have lost people very close to me. As I posted to someone below you, I am married and have three kids. I have also lost a lot of my friends - I am an Iraq war veteran and was in the Air Force from 2003 until last Feb. All of that has led me to my conclusion because I see what is left after these people have gone away - and largely it's...nothing. Once their fr…

What do you see in a legacy? The opportunity to do good for humanity, or the opportunity to be remembered? For there will come a day when even Jesus, Shakespeare, and Newton will be forgotten. Eventually, we will all be forgotten.

Reminds me of Ozymandias:

  I met a traveller from an antique land,
  Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
  Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
  Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
  And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
  Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
  Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
  The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
  And on the pedestal, these words appear:
  My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
  Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
  Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
  Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
  The lone and level sands stretch far away.”
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/guide/238972#poem

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#35

Post by cwre »

LordHumungous wrote: post #26
peteretep wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Because they’d been to the top of the mountain, and they > just knew in their heart they’d never get there again, > that it was never going to get — never going to be that > way ever again And Sheryl says: > I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have > said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be > as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the > truth Is this attitude ... normal?…

Life is a process of losing the things that you love. Your parents, your friends, your health, and finally your life.

People you love will turn their backs on you / You'll lose your hair, your teeth, your knife will fall out of it's sheath / But you still don't like to leave before the end of the movie

-- Cake

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#36

Post by switch007 »

LordHumungous wrote: post #26
peteretep wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Because they’d been to the top of the mountain, and they > just knew in their heart they’d never get there again, > that it was never going to get — never going to be that > way ever again And Sheryl says: > I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have > said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be > as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the > truth Is this attitude ... normal?…

Life is a process of losing the things that you love. Your parents, your friends, your health, and finally your life.

Life is a process of discovering things to love. Your parents, your friends, your health, and finally your life.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#39

Post by CamperBob2 »

jalonso510 wrote: post #34
sliverstorm wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you see in a legacy? The opportunity to do good for humanity, or the opportunity to be remembered? For there will come a day when even Jesus, Shakespeare, and Newton will be forgotten. Eventually, we will all be forgotten.

Reminds me of Ozymandias: I met a traveller from an antique land, Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed; And on the…

The words are still there, aren't they? That counts.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#40

Post by AndrewKemendo »

nostrademons wrote: post #32
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't explain it now that I have a child and family and have lost people very close to me. As I posted to someone below you, I am married and have three kids. I have also lost a lot of my friends - I am an Iraq war veteran and was in the Air Force from 2003 until last Feb. All of that has led me to my conclusion because I see what is left after these people have gone away - and largely it's...nothing. Once their fr…

You tend to get what you value, so if you believe that your legacy is more important than your close personal relationships, there's nothing anyone on Hacker News could say that will make that "wrong". Just remember that everybody's legacy is fleeting. In a generation, Steve Jobs will probably be remembered like the Duesenberg brothers.

I guess legacy is the wrong word - as it implies a level of vanity that is uninteresting in my opinion. Rather, lets call it impact.

For example Leo Szilard I feel had a much broader and deeper impact on the world than did Einstein, but with significantly less fame. Same with Woz vs Jobs etc...

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