Managing engineering teams

My company is specifically looking to hire a PMP certified manager (externally) to oversee the five person dev team, and there's no way I could get that certification because it requires five years of management experience. Is it worth having a conversation to see if this requirement can be overcome?

At this point I'd look to move on in a group setting and talk to the individual one on one. The non violent communication link on that page also addresses good ways of having that conversation with your employee. It's not an easy conversation but it should either bring you and your employee closer or, hopefully in the minority of conversations, let you know you have an issue on your hand.

Part of this is building trust with your employees through regular, meaningful one on one's. Maybe your employee really feels like you were not the right person to make that decision and so maybe they were right to push back. Be open to the fact you might be wrong. But, if you've got someone constantly swimming against the tide in a _disruptive_ fashion you've got a problem.

I've been told I'm wrong and corrected by my colleagues and team literally hundreds of times. So it's not about a respect-my-authority! situation. Make sure you don't setup an environment where people can't question, you're not trying to create a Dickensian factory. Typically, once all parties enter in to the conversation with mutual respect then everything will be fine. Occasionally someone (including you) step over the line and you should acknowledge that but then swiftly move on if it's not commonplace.

Its often not the contents but the packaging, frequency and intent of the comments that are the issue in my experience. If you decide you've got a problem then it's time for those difficult conversations.

This. I've worked with many software organizations who jump to conclusions about their engineers and their reaction about poor performance is usually "we need to fire him/her" or "I don't think I have the right dev team". I always have to ask "When was the last time you asked that person what they really want to do?" The answer is almost universally "not since we hired them". It's a healthy conversation and something that needs to happen more often than it does in engineering teams.

Once we have a team of friendly and skilled people, we can sort everything else out.