Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Get Your Shit Together

getyourshittogether.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 154 posts

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#121

Post by marincounty »

courtewing wrote: post #13

This is great advice all around, but get a local lawyer involved to prepare your will. Even in US, there is not a single set of laws that apply to wills and power of attorney. It varies state by state. With a generic template pulled from the internet, you could just be doing a whole lot of work and ultimately be ending up with a document that has little legal basis. Do your loved ones a favor - hire a lawyer to do it…

If you have a big estate see a lawyer.

If you don't, or cash strapped now, you can get by with Nolo press. If you can understand ROR, and programming, after reading their two books on wills and trusts, I think you can set up a trust and will, and skip the lawyer.

On the will get two signatures from people not in the will, and it does not need to be notarized in California. If you want to exclude a child out of a estate you must explicitly state that in the will.(Some kids got a lot of cash early on. Explain to them you love them. Make sure they are doing well, if you exclude them.) I recently did a will for a friend. Her daughter took all the family money when her father died--leaving her mother with nothing. The ironic part is her daughter is a multimillionaire in LA, with a successful business. She took advantatage of a bad situation, and a angry dying man. So yes, I didn't feel it was immoral to exclude her from the will of that friend.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#122

Post by sukilot »

jcadam wrote: post #41
jobu wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps) For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids if something h…

I'm in a similar situation. The other members of both sides of our family are all either flaky, dirt poor, or too old to take care of our kids. And one of our children is autistic and will likely need long-term care when she's an adult. Maybe one of our other children will step up when the time comes, but I can't count on that. My plan is to live forever.

Dirt poor shouldn't be a problem. Buy life insurance.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#123

Post by sukilot »

tomjen3 wrote: post #66
napoleond wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the Roman Catholic tradition, this problem is solved with godparents. I'm not Catholic (and I don't have kids yet), but the model seems to make sense. Forgive me for stepping way beyond the bounds of "internet stranger's business" but if your close friends' lives are so full that they would not care for your children if you became incapacitated, you need better friends.

I strongly disagree with that view. I don't have children of my own and while I would open the door at 3 am to take friends in (or heck a neighbor) while we get things sorted out taking on children is a major life disrupting experience. So yes saying no would be selfish, assuming that any of your friends would have their lives completely disrupted just because you have children seems quite a bit more selfish.

The point is that throughout history, raising children are considered the point of life, not trophies that are otherwise a distraction from vacations and toys.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#124

Post by sukilot »

jimpresto wrote: post #97
jobu wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps) For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids if something h…

I'm in a similar situation and trying to make those same decisions. We ended up picking the ex-wife of a family member. Our immediate family did not fit our criteria and after we talked with her it seems like the best choice. However, we are still struggling with how to distribute the life insurance in this case. Currently, she would get it all, but I think setting aside x% for education for each kid is worth conside…

Don't set aside money for education, that will just interfere with financial aid. No parents means no income means free school

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#125

Post by Dewie3 »

iamthepieman wrote: post #10

I didn't see this covered under the will section but do talk to important people in your life while you are making your will. Nothing in your will should be a surprise to those that are involved in your estate after you die. If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. If you have kids you…

> This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your kids.

If the balance "favours your kids", presumably meaning that the new caretakers feel overwhelmed by that responsibility, I guess they could refuse that responsibility. I guess having that wish be in your will might pressure them sufficiently to actually go through with that responsibility, but that kind of pressuring somehow doesn't feel right either.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#126

Post by __z »

lh7777 wrote: post #113

> Making a will is critical for everyone. Not having a will is frankly not an option, you know this. I keep hearing this, but I don't believe it. No kids, no assets of any significance, and my state's intestacy laws are fine by me for what there is. Of course, I'll revisit when my situation changes but I just can't see why making and maintaining a will needs to be a high priority for me.

My grandma didn't need a will.

My mom was on her checking account (because my mom took care of a lot of her finances) so my mom automatically got all of her money in the world - $900. The only other thing she owned was her house. Her will said it was to be sold and the money split between her children. Exactly zero of her children were interested in the house, selling the house, living in the house, or anything to do with the house. So the house was abandoned along with all the stuff in her house. My grandma knew that would happen (the house was literally falling apart - if code enforcement saw it then it would be condemned) but she made a will because she was "supposed" to.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#127

Post by [deleted] »

lh7777 wrote: post #113

> Making a will is critical for everyone. Not having a will is frankly not an option, you know this. I keep hearing this, but I don't believe it. No kids, no assets of any significance, and my state's intestacy laws are fine by me for what there is. Of course, I'll revisit when my situation changes but I just can't see why making and maintaining a will needs to be a high priority for me.

[deleted]

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#128

Post by aaron695 »

There is nothing more stupid than doing a will or getting life insurance. The other advice is worth thinking about.

There is no imaginary place in the sky where you can look down after your death and see people happy because you left them money or less stress.

Live life for the present and future. Not for the nothing.

Sure, game theory might throw a spanner in the works for the now and future-

- Your partner having a will / life insurance might be important, so you have to get one for quid quo pro.

- You might be stuck being stupid and it'll help you relax. Humans are weird.

- Stupid people might judge you or smart people might sham you (Since wills probably benefit society)

But this crutch we can get, that in death my kids and wife will be happy, a false safety valve, can be more destructive to your life than the reasons above.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#129

Post by vivekian2 »

aaron695 wrote: post #128

There is nothing more stupid than doing a will or getting life insurance. The other advice is worth thinking about. There is no imaginary place in the sky where you can look down after your death and see people happy because you left them money or less stress. Live life for the present and future. Not for the nothing. Sure, game theory might throw a spanner in the works for the now and future- - Your partner having a…

Really?

Making sure that the financial needs of your loved ones are met if you do depart in a sudden manner, is the most selfless thing you can do. It has nothing to do about making you feel happy, it has everything to do with being pragmatic so that they have one less thing to worry about.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#130

Post by cwp »

aaron695 wrote: post #128

There is nothing more stupid than doing a will or getting life insurance. The other advice is worth thinking about. There is no imaginary place in the sky where you can look down after your death and see people happy because you left them money or less stress. Live life for the present and future. Not for the nothing. Sure, game theory might throw a spanner in the works for the now and future- - Your partner having a…

WTF? I can't believe this is the top comment.

I don't believe in life after death, but I do believe that the world will continue to exist after I die. And in that world, chances are good that my wife and kid will still be alive, but I will not be earning money to support them. Planning for that scenario is not stupid at all. It has nothing to do with how I or anyone else will feel, unless you count "hungry" as a feeling.

Post reply on HN