I found this article useful. What I was really hoping for was a layman's translation of the maths on wikipedia [ie. how to implement]. But this is a good jumping off point for figuring out which black box to use.
So you want to do math without knowing how to do math?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolis–Hastings_algorithm
Meanwhile the much more complex Firefly algorithm is adequately explained in just 3 sentences that are obvious to understand: