This uncannily describes some of the culture in the Bay Area too. Areas of wealth probably create such environments. For example, mother groups start spiraling cycles of outrageousness in their birthday parties for their infants and toddlers, either trying to impress or avoid boredom --- I haven't figured out which. It would probably help if we had more cultural support for stay-at-home parents, where they could focus their energy on community support, and not just the children.
Poor Little Rich Women
61–70 of 83 posts
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#62Earlier quoted context omitted.
How are they leading a "parasitic life"? Their husbands were not forced to marry them.
Parasitism in general is not completely harmful: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitism#Value nor is it always forced on the host: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helminthic_therapy In the case described in the article the males are obviously getting something out of the symbiotic relationship, but it's nowhere near what the females are getting. I'm sticking to my figurative use of "parasitism" to describe the imbalanc…
These are smart, rich, and powerful men, yet some how they are "snookered" in to the short end of the stick?
Seems unlikely.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#63Why won't those women sit on important boards and earn real money? They surely have enough education and social capital, some of them at least. Maybe it's the question of who they will marry in this case, if they will?
Where can you get an education for sitting on important boards? I'd like to sign up for that.
All the article says is they have an education. It doesn't say in which field - business administration, literature, engineering? I don't think all subjects are equal and the typical "education" certainly doesn't enable you to be an important board member.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#64The OP doesn't seem to aknowledge the agency of those women. They are free, consentient adults who agreed on such lifestyle and its tradeoffs.
If anything, the article echoes the stigma toward stay-at-home mothers and family oriented couples.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#65It's pretty standard in anthropology circles that whoever can generate the greatest share of prosperity in a group (protein in primitive societies, money and influence in advanced) will have the greatest power.
So when such high power men get married, chances are pretty high that the women they marry will be less powerful, and thus relegated to a subservient position.
I wonder if there have been similar studies done of family structures where the woman is the primary breadwinner?
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#66This uncannily describes some of the culture in the Bay Area too. Areas of wealth probably create such environments. For example, mother groups start spiraling cycles of outrageousness in their birthday parties for their infants and toddlers, either trying to impress or avoid boredom --- I haven't figured out which. It would probably help if we had more cultural support for stay-at-home parents, where they could focu…
There was a somewhat recent article about this dynamic on a forum that DC area women post on. It described a lot of type A personalities one-upping each other around how much their husbands make ($400k+ / year at the low end I think it was noted), what they paid for a baby carriage, how many vacations they go on yearly, etc. that all reminded me a lot of what kids do in high school. It was a bit embellished probably, but eating out here and there in Northern Virginia I've overheard a lot of really eye-rolling conversations of similarly shallow topics but also accompanied by a more chilling conversation of such incredible privilege that's so commonplace. I did a short count while I sat in a parking lot once and literally over 50% of the cars being driven were recent model German import luxury vehicles - I literally never saw a Mercedes Benz or even knew what BMW was by the time I was 13. For kids growing up in the suburbs here, you'd statistically expect the average household to have a $45k car.
I think a lot of the disgusting behavior is about the personality types and the values that tend to manifest among those types rather than anything intrinsic to wealth. A family member is extremely wealthy (.01%er) and from what I remember that household has never discusses business unless at a designated place and time. Perhaps this is simply an old money v. new money sort of contrast fundamentally.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#67The author through her cultural lens is passing some fairly strong judgment. The women are highly educated and highly intelligent. They've decided to play a supporting role in the relationship. Many decisions that would otherwise seem illogical make perfect sense when judged within the context of raising a family. The women in this article understand it very well, I think. Yes, in public the men and women may be segr…
> Not to mention that they get to raise children who get to spend plenty of time with at least one parent, the value of which is almost never taken into consideration these days. Nonsense. People don't shut up about 'quality time', and talk more about parenting time with kids than ever before. If anything, the problem is something of the opposite - 'helicopter parents' who are always around and always protecting kids…
> If anything, the problem is something of the opposite [...]
It is certainly possible for society to have both problems of "parents don't spend enough time with their children" and "parents are micromanaging their children" simultaneously when the distribution of parental tendencies bimodal about both sides of whatever is optimal.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#68What is particularly worrisome, in my opinion, is the slow creep of market values into our daily lives. "Performance bonuses" to spouses? WTF? What happened to the sense of duty that comes from filial piety and love? Economics has no business inside a household. People oughta leave it in the market place where it belongs.
You may be interested in this article written by a couple that doesn't agree with you. Granted, they seem to be extreme outliers in many other ways, but it's evidence that it works for some people.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#69I remember reading a feminist opinion piece that economic dependency should be equivalent to abuse, and thus should be treated in similar way we handle drug abuse or alcohol abuse. A adult with their health intact should support themselves, and choosing not to do so will put the person at higher risk for unbalanced relationships, lower self-esteem, and increase gender inequality.
Funny considering how terribly drug addiction is handled. Many people choose to be addicts and are very content with the tradeoffs, if any, they make.
Re: Poor Little Rich Women
#70What is particularly worrisome, in my opinion, is the slow creep of market values into our daily lives. "Performance bonuses" to spouses? WTF? What happened to the sense of duty that comes from filial piety and love? Economics has no business inside a household. People oughta leave it in the market place where it belongs.