I've seen hypnosis and EFT help some people with depression. Unfortunately, they seem to be a treatment options that go overlooked.
No Longer Wanting to Die
81–90 of 108 posts
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
Re: [2] But what are you to do when you have no purpose in life? No motivating, goal-oriented activities that you enjoy? For many depressed people, including myself, everything seems pointless and therefore nothing has purpose and nothing is motivating or truly interesting. No one really offers any good advice on this part of the solution and yet it's the most important part! Everyone seems to think that everyone mus…
IMHO, having, and still confronting the darkness: a) Yes, everything is indeed pointless / "pointless". b) Think about what "pointless" means. It requires an agent to assign and remove importance. Who is this agent? Is it you, is it society, is it what you have been told since born? What's his goals / values / pov? Why exactly is something "important" or not? c) F ck "saving the world". F ck "there is a point in this…
Yes, I agree that you should try and find meaning in everything you do. Basically you want everything that you do in your life to be in line with your motivation and goals. It's partly a process of changing your outlook on life, and partly about making actual changes to how you live your life.
However, you should also be aware that one of the symptoms of depression is being unable to find enjoyment in activities that you normally find enjoyable. This might be the problem that throwaway3301 is experiencing.
It's not always easy to figure out what is causing depression. It's as if your brain has set off a "master caution" warning light, and you then have to figure out yourself what the problem actually is. I would recommend just asking yourself "is this what I want to do with my life" (in terms of your job, where you live, your relationships, etc.)
Also, depression can feed on itself in a vicious circle. I think this is where CBT comes in, as it teaches you to avoid negative thought patterns (although I never used it myself).
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#83I find it curious that what strikes me as the real reason for feeling depressed - his inability to handle anxiety and reliance on medication for it, was not the first paragraph, with multiple exclamation marks around it. THAT was the problem that got fixed as far as I can tell. There was also shame, feeling of inadequacy, etc but the real issue here seems to be that once you can handle a debilitating level of anxiety…
> I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. There often isn't a root cause for depression. Asking people why they're depressed can feel like you're judging them - "What have you got to be depressed about?"
The previous paragraph makes a note on that:
"The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people)"
If you genuinely don't know, then you need to figure that out, asap. That's what happened to me pretty early on in life, I actually went to my parents one day and musingly said 'I am not happy, I don't know why'. Acknowledging that there genuinely was a problem, was an important step, because then I read all sorts of books and at least did surface level things like 'being more positive' - gleamed from that famous Dale Carnegie book.
It didn't do anything overnight but it got me to open my mind to a wide array of ideas I hadn't considered before - some of them counter-productive, others quite good.
To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat. I recognize that there may be great comfort in going 'well, that's just how I am, not much I can do' but that's the type of mentality that leads down the dark road of despair - if you think you are powerless to change it, then you are quite likely to end up in a place where you are pretty fkd.
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#84I find it curious that what strikes me as the real reason for feeling depressed - his inability to handle anxiety and reliance on medication for it, was not the first paragraph, with multiple exclamation marks around it. THAT was the problem that got fixed as far as I can tell. There was also shame, feeling of inadequacy, etc but the real issue here seems to be that once you can handle a debilitating level of anxiety…
> I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. There often isn't a root cause for depression. Asking people why they're depressed can feel like you're judging them - "What have you got to be depressed about?"
Plus, it's quite possibly the other way around much of the time: the depressed person, in a desire to understand and/or explain their depression, designates something as the 'root cause' and acts accordingly (clamming up, etc.).
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
Here are some suggestions that worked for me, and may (or may not) help. I find that depression -- at least for me -- has two main causes: [1] Excessive emotional response to bad situations (similar to what the author of this article is experiencing). and: [2] Insufficient motivation/goals/joy. My solution to [1] is twofold: mindfulness and resolution. Be aware that excessive negative emotional responses are bad (as…
Re: [2] But what are you to do when you have no purpose in life? No motivating, goal-oriented activities that you enjoy? For many depressed people, including myself, everything seems pointless and therefore nothing has purpose and nothing is motivating or truly interesting. No one really offers any good advice on this part of the solution and yet it's the most important part! Everyone seems to think that everyone mus…
Well, everything is pointless by itself. Universe has no mind so it doesn't go anywhere and doesn't give a shit about anytning.
But you do have mind, and so you can choose your purpose, to decide on what you value and then go after it.
Values are arbitrary. Well, the most basic ones are built into you(survival and reproduction, valuing food/safety/sex), but the kind of values humans speak of when they think about a "purpose" are mostly made up by them(making money, raising kids, pleasing god, being a good programmer, whatever).
So if you're looking for "purpose" it's not about finding it somewhere in the world, but more about deciding what you want out of life. I suggest you start by deciding and being clear on what kind of things you value. Once you know what you want out of life on the high/abstract level - you look for the more concrete examples and activities that move you towards achieving these values.
Here's my example. What I want the most in life, in a very abstract sense, is "being clever", so I am very motivated to do everything that moves me in that general direction. More specifically, I want to be great at thinking and creating things, coming up with ideas and understanding the world. This is something I want for the sake of itself, this is what makes life fun, I value these things "just because". After thinking for a while, I figured that the best practical activities that move me in the direction of these values are Computer Science, building a startup, and writing comedy/fiction.
So at this point my abstract desire to "be clever" drives my motivation to "learn programming" or "get good at writing comedy". And from there I can come up with goals and practical projects, which I am motivated to do because they move me further towards fulfilling my values in life.
I went through a period of depression and apathy, and thought a lot about how to figure out what I want. I'm still scared/depressed(for various reasons, mostly related to logistics in life), but now I have figured out how to "find my passion" and come up with goals that make me motivated and driven. So if what I wrote makes any sense or is in any way helpful, I'm happy to talk more on the topic, if you're interested, maybe you could bounce ideas off of me, maybe that will help you out. If you want - feel free to message me to raymestalez@gmail.com
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#86Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. There often isn't a root cause for depression. Asking people why they're depressed can feel like you're judging them - "What have you got to be depressed about?"
The previous paragraph makes a note on that: "The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people)" If you genuinely don't know, then you need to figure that out, asap. That's what happened to me pretty early on in life, I actually went to my parents one day and musingly said 'I…
One difficulty with 'root causes' is that this is very often considered to mean 'things that happened in your past,' whereas the root cause could also be biological factors, environmental factors, or 'faulty' thought patterns. Focusing on 'things in the past' too much can keep you from seeing other possibilities.
Unfortunately psychoanalysis is still quite popular, and as a result too many people remain stuck in endlessly probing their subconscious where CBT or another approach might help them instead.
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#87Earlier quoted context omitted.
It doesn't matter much if a person is sad for no reason, no one wants to be around someone who is sad.
This didn't deserve a downvote, it's a good observation of the problem. If you're depressed, it's very hard for people to be around you, and that makes the depression worse.
I'm depressed. It comes and goes, but generally in the middle of an episode I don't want to be around other people either, which I think compounds the issue.
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#88Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. There often isn't a root cause for depression. Asking people why they're depressed can feel like you're judging them - "What have you got to be depressed about?"
The previous paragraph makes a note on that: "The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people)" If you genuinely don't know, then you need to figure that out, asap. That's what happened to me pretty early on in life, I actually went to my parents one day and musingly said 'I…
> To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat.
No. It's to accept that depression happens for a variety of complex reasons and to simplify it to some mythical root cause is not in anyway helpful.
This root cause stuff sounds like traditional psychoanalysis which has been pretty much totally debunked as useless now.
People are much better off ignoring root cause and focussing on treatment. The article mentions two evidence based therapies - CBT and DBT - neither of which ask people to look for a root cause.
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
The previous paragraph makes a note on that: "The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people)" If you genuinely don't know, then you need to figure that out, asap. That's what happened to me pretty early on in life, I actually went to my parents one day and musingly said 'I…
> To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat. No. It's to accept that depression happens for a variety of complex reasons and to simplify it to some mythical root cause is not in anyway helpful. This root cause stuff sounds like traditional psychoanalysis which has been pretty much totally debunked as useless now. People are much better off ignoring root cause and focussing on treatm…
Maybe root was the wrong word to use - I didn't mean some singular event that happened to you. It takes 2 seconds to recognize that that makes no sense.
By root I mean by changing one aspect of your life - you'll see considerable results. There may be 2-3 root causes, maybe even FIVE!
Point is it's not insurmountable. If you talk to people who were depressed and aren't anymore, they won't claim it was alchemy that fixed it. More likely, they'd attribute it to feeling empowered, rather than helpless and being a victim.
As a personal example - I know a lady who was deeply depressed, food disorder, alcohol problems, a lot of stuff.
Everybody was at a loss for what the fk to do about it. Then comes my friend who happens to really like her. Guess what, they're engaged and she's doing A LOOOOOT better.
Why? Because now instead of feeling like her life is over and that she's worthless, she can see that what she wanted (family and kids and being loved) is not some unattainable dream. She got some professional help for her disorders and while it's a long road ahead, she's in a different place.
So while there's many things left to unroot, ONE root of finding somebody who she can see a future with, is giving her the motivation to get better.
These are the kinds of stories that make a lot of sense - finding something to look forward to AND feeling like you can get there, along with some help in terms of logistics goes a long way.
I went off on a tangent there but I'm all for CBT or whatever other techniques. Point is - if you don't have a conscious break-through of recognizing what the problem was and how you're fixing it and WHY it's working, you are still lost. Just that you're receiving some mythical help at the moment.
Re: No Longer Wanting to Die
#90While I don't really understand the differences between CBT and DBT, I've been seeing a therapist who has prescribed a lot of the treatments the author mentions. It never occurred to me that I suffered with anxiety but through a series of events I started having panic attacks and sought help. I've since learned that anxiety is often a front for emotions that cannot be adequately expressed or processed. For me, it's a…
> I built an app that sends me an SMS asking me how I am feeling and why and logs the response for later analysis.
Please share if possible! Sounds great.