I think the web would be a lot better if we just ran lisp in the browser. Heck, I think lisp is pretty much the answer to all our problems. But nobody ever asked me.
As someone who was developing for the web in the (late) 90s, using web browsers and java as a cross-platform UI for educational software (mac and windows!) who tried to get java applets to communicate with each other (possible but difficult, and I ended up running a local java application that the applets RPCd to), I can say this with distinct clarity: the DOM and current (modern ES6) javascript system are pretty great. Sure, they could be better in some ways, but I don't trust Joe Programmer (just for example here) to understand re-entrant code well enough to write stuff that actually works in a multi-threaded environment, so single-thread event-driven is great.
People complain about this binding and so forth, but it provides a great borrowing / mixin mechanism to the language that is just flat out impossible in other languages. The prototype inheritance system is funky, but es6 classes mean you don't need to worry about it. If you want to, you can do some pretty rad metaprogramming with it, though.
Type coercion is kind of a pain, and frankly I'd love to be able to override operators (writing === semantics for objects over and over is kind of a PITA). But seriously, Javascript is pretty great. I pass around functions, chain together stuff with functional-based approaches (front-to-back no less), and can do all sorts of hip kinds of programming with it.
Maybe if we had some truly-different language driving the web, things'd be different, but don't complain about javascript and just put forward python. Put something like haskell or smalltalk on the block. Let's go big with the radical differences. I mean, c-ish languages are c-ish languages. I only wish CSS was as nice as Javascript. If I had my druthers, that's where we'd be focusing; that and namespaces within the DOM (hello, shadow DOM!)
Okay, longpost over. And late no less - serves me right for working all day instead of reading HN. Writing JS no less.