21–30 of 401 posts
This guy wants to be super cool and cover just everything. Be kind, be super programmer, have tattoo, write blog ... Thinking about the post, I quite understand why people don't want to work with such superheroes . Kind will not make it if it is one other thing you want to be good at. Don't show off too much will do.
I'm definitely more patient than I was a decade ago, but I still have little use for useless people. I don't feel like I have to be kind to those who aren't motivated to contribute and do thoughtful work.
I hope he will write a "how to" follow up, because I would like to change, but I don't see how to do it in a way that doesn't sound impossibly exhausting.
I'm hopeful that it actually is possible, though, because for 30+ years I had never been able to keep any space well-ordered for more than a few weeks, nor had any reason to think I ever would be able to. I read "the life changing magic of tidying up" and it turns out I can do it--I just needed to be taught how. This may not seem relevant, but it's been life-changing not so much to have a tidy office, but to learn that what I assumed was a fixed personal trait was changeable after all.
This guy wants to be super cool and cover just everything. Be kind, be super programmer, have tattoo, write blog ... Thinking about the post, I quite understand why people don't want to work with such superheroes . Kind will not make it if it is one other thing you want to be good at. Don't show off too much will do.
This hits so close to home for me personally. I recently got some feedback that seemed very similar (it seemed much more useful and constructive than what boz got) and I recently had a similar realization about my friends putting up with me. Thanks for writing and publishing this. It's very good.
I really like these two paragraphs towards the end: Being kind isn’t the same as being nice. It isn’t about superficial praise. It doesn’t mean dulling your opinions. And it shouldn’t diminish the passion with which you present them. Being kind is fundamentally about taking responsibility for your impact on the people around you. It requires you be mindful of their feelings and considerate of the way your presence af…
To be fair, this is also incredibly exhausting. Most peoples' reactions to things are arbitrary at best and constant worrying about how they will take something is just way too much BS to put into my day. I bought pretty deeply into this philosophy once and it just made me neurotic and quiet at a time of my life where those things very much hurt me. I think being selectively kind makes a lot more sense. I'm kind to c…
And it's definitely possible to disagree, even sharply, in a considerate manner - eg focus on the point of disagreement, not on the person disagreeing; avoid name-calling; point out that the issue you disagree with may be valid in other cases; etc.
I really like these two paragraphs towards the end: Being kind isn’t the same as being nice. It isn’t about superficial praise. It doesn’t mean dulling your opinions. And it shouldn’t diminish the passion with which you present them. Being kind is fundamentally about taking responsibility for your impact on the people around you. It requires you be mindful of their feelings and considerate of the way your presence af…
Trouble is, tone doesn't come through text very well. Takes a lot more typing and very careful word choice. So haste often comes off as unkind. Maybe we can read comments more kindly, and give terse words the benefit of the doubt?
I really like these two paragraphs towards the end: Being kind isn’t the same as being nice. It isn’t about superficial praise. It doesn’t mean dulling your opinions. And it shouldn’t diminish the passion with which you present them. Being kind is fundamentally about taking responsibility for your impact on the people around you. It requires you be mindful of their feelings and considerate of the way your presence af…
Being right and being kind aren't mutually exclusive.
Author's 'before' picture is me very often. I'm nearly ego-less in pursuit of the truth--more than ready to be shown wrong myself--but that doesn't mean that coworkers and loved ones end up feeling good about the conversation. I hope he will write a "how to" follow up, because I would like to change, but I don't see how to do it in a way that doesn't sound impossibly exhausting. I'm hopeful that it actually is possib…
Took me years to understand soft skills are as much or more important than technical skills.
(Fixed book's name)
While the author may have been a very talented engineer, there are also a lot of mediocre engineers (and members of other professions) who happen to act like jerks. Don't assume that just because someone is crotchety, indignant, or combative that he/she is intelligent.
If an engineer is outstanding, their actions can speak for themselves, and they won't have to put on airs; if an engineer is mediocre, their only option to hide it will be arrogance.