I started my career as a recording studio engineer, and was in fact a regular reviewer of professional audio equipment for a national magazine for years, so I fit one of the two groups you mention.
The short answer, honestly, is that the two groups have little in common. The community of people in pro audio are usually very pragmatic people with comprehensive experience and context with audio (i.e. they are musicians themselves, or experts in movie soundtracks, etc) and more to the point have excellent and relatively unbiased "ears" and listening abilities.
Basically any audio engineer with actual real life professional experience and success (i.e. not a "hobbyist") can name half a dozen crappy cheap things that sound way better than the high end alternative in their arsenal. Things like a $80 microphone that is just amazing on harmonica, or a 1980's solid state compressor that is perfect for male vocals, etc etc.
And as a side note, professional engineers almost always have personal audio systems with pretty standard off the shelf equipment. I have never once in my life met a person who makes their living off of pro audio who has a "hi-fi" system of the type you see in stereo magazines. They almost invariably make equipment decisions with their ears.
By contrast, the high end "stereophile" community seems to be more of an analogue to the fashion industry. They are obsessive about concepts, like hand winding of copper, or ground isolation, or Class A or tube amplification, and so on. They care about checking off a list of things that an audio system is "supposed to have" and brand names and so on. Typically listening is a confirmation event for them, rather than a means for making decisions. I couldn't speak to the listening chops of the journalists that cover these things, but the entire sector is based on fashion and spending money and its media reflects those values.
The high end stereophile sector is about a lot of things, but faithful audio reproduction doesn't appear to be the highest priority on the list.
For anyone who actually wants to invest in a really high quality system to listen to audio on without getting sucked into this money bleeding insanity I recommend going to a high end pro audio store (such as B&H in New York or WPS in Washington DC, say) with a budget in mind ($1-3k should be more than sufficient) and getting someone to help you put a system together that will impress your friends.