Earlier quoted context omitted.
The effects you describe are probably specific to the individual. Having worked for several companies from tiny startups to gigantic megaliths, I can tell you that I never felt any of those things regardless of my equity package. I may be cynical, you may be naive, or both. Companies succeed by being in the right place at the right time, being lucky, having good connections, and having leaders who make the right deci…
On the last point, it's about fairness in the other direction. If an organization like Youtube/PickYourUnicorn sells for a billion plus dollars with only a small handful of employees, all of which are talented and have put in long hours, would it be fair for only the VCs and founders to see the upside? In a sense I view equity as a shared call option.
If you still think there's a problem here, pay market wages and let anyone who chooses come along on their own dime on any subsequent funding round at fair value. No vesting/expiring options, no stock grants, no look-back, no discount, no limits, just the opportunity to be an investor -- in the moment -- on the same terms as everyone else. Just make sure (non-)participation is 100% confidential. I think very few of your employees genuinely want to be capitalists, but those who do should have to put cash on the barrelhead like everyone else.