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“I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

marieclaire.com

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Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#11

Post by parennoob »

I don't know why this is on HN, but here is Elon's version of things: http://www.businessinsider.com/correcting-the-record-about-m...

"In addition to paying all of her household expenses and anything related to the children, I send Justine $20,000 (after tax) per month for clothing, shoes and other discretionary items."

I guess two lessons HN readers can take from this are:

a) Don't get married if possible. If she was just his girlfriend, this would be only a bad breakup story apart from the kids, which leads to....

b) If you do get married, don't have kids with the person you married if you are having constant interpersonal conflicts with them. Five kids probably turned the divorce pretty messy. No kids + the post-nup she signed might have made it more clean-cut.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#12

Post by bsbechtel »

Zarkonnen wrote: post #6

Pretty conflicted about this story. I am... not surprised by any of the details in it, and I'm not fond of startup founder hero worship. But I'm uncomfortable with this kind of public airing of grievances. If Musk wrote this kind of piece about her, he'd come across as a massive asshole. But then, he's clearly the one with far more power, and he'd be punching down the power gradient, kicking her when she's down. Does…

I remember seeing this when it was originally written. While I laud Elon's professional accomplishments, it's not hard to accept that he has some massive faults when it comes to personal relationships, not unlike many successful entrepreneurs before him. At the same time, my immediate reaction to this piece was that Justine Musk is a professional novelist. Her job is to use words and her writing to entertain people, part of that entertainment being making people feel certain emotions and thoughts through the stories she tells. I couldn't read this without taking her side of the story with a grain of salt.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#13

Post by facepalm »

Zarkonnen wrote: post #7
facepalm wrote: post #4

It seems she changed the color of her hair several times. That sounds very messy indeed. At least typical women's magazine readers can probably relate to the extreme emotional turmoil that signifies.

I think it's probably more the constant belittling, criticism, and massive power imbalance that was stressful? sigh

Sounds like every marriage, except perhaps for the power imbalance. Then again, why is it a power imbalance just because somebody is a billionaire? And I'm pretty sure she will get some money out of it, you can not prenup away everything.

Ah, here it is in another article: "In addition to paying all of her household expenses and anything related to the children, I send Justine $20,000 (after tax) per month for clothing, shoes and other discretionary items.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/correcting-the-record-about-m... "

And "According to the marital agreement, Justine would receive approximately $20 million dollars after tax".

What a horrible life it must be.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#14

Post by danielweber »

bryanlarsen wrote: post #8

Elon's perspective: http://www.businessinsider.com/correcting-the-record-about-m...

In a California divorce, the wealthier spouse must pay both sides of the battle even if they are not the aggressor.

Holy misaligned incentives, Batman.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#16

Post by imaginenore »

I know of at least a billion women who would trade places with her.

All that whining about how badly she was treated. He asked her to dye her hair, the horror. She had financial access to pretty much any activity one can imagine, and she chose to be bored and whiny instead of busy doing something cool.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#17

Post by facepalm »

bsbechtel wrote: post #12
Zarkonnen wrote: post #6

Pretty conflicted about this story. I am... not surprised by any of the details in it, and I'm not fond of startup founder hero worship. But I'm uncomfortable with this kind of public airing of grievances. If Musk wrote this kind of piece about her, he'd come across as a massive asshole. But then, he's clearly the one with far more power, and he'd be punching down the power gradient, kicking her when she's down. Does…

I remember seeing this when it was originally written. While I laud Elon's professional accomplishments, it's not hard to accept that he has some massive faults when it comes to personal relationships, not unlike many successful entrepreneurs before him. At the same time, my immediate reaction to this piece was that Justine Musk is a professional novelist. Her job is to use words and her writing to entertain people,…

Why "faults"? It sounds as if he said "take it or leave it", isn't that fair? Why do you have to have a specific personality to be accepted? Nobody is forced to marry the guy.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#18

Post by hedgew »

bryanlarsen wrote: post #8

Elon's perspective: http://www.businessinsider.com/correcting-the-record-about-m...

Marriage is probably a high risk factor for entrepreneurs.

"In a California divorce, the wealthier spouse must pay both sides of the battle even if they are not the aggressor."

"I even had to endure her attempt to enjoin my companies, which would have required her participation and permission in every significant corporate decision."

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#19

Post by sergiotapia »

This is funny to me. If these people were poor they would be doing the exact same thing on Facebook. But since they have a couple of million they don't post this on their wall but on actual journalism website.

Keep your dirty laundry private - nobody wants to see that and it's ugly.

Re: “I Was a Starter Wife”: Inside America's Messiest Divorce (2010)

#20

Post by SFjulie1 »

Well, that is what you get for marrying a psychopath.

Entrepreneur's first quality is to assess situation without the filter of emotions, it logically has a tendency to induce this as a routine. And it is wise.

So be it induced or be it a professional hazard, entrepreneur's will grow their tendency for control and maximimizing their utility in any dimesions without regard for emotions.

She is just a minor collateral victim of a normal trait that brilliant entrepreneur should have.

Elon is not a cold bastard, he is a cold visionaire: when he says all IT success are based on monopolies and that governments should allow them, he is right. Never go for competition, but always tell the one going for competition they have "fire in their eyes", this way you will have less competition on your monopoly. It is wise.

Morally he may be not be your cup of tea. But, what he is doing is socially profitable for at least some of us (investors, customers, employees, state (through taxes)).

As stated in Plato's Republic, the wisest amongst us should not be under the scrutinity of the people that don't understand what is required to rule the city.

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