What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school? • Hacker News Board

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#111

Post by vcxzxcv » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:16 PM UTC

mathattack wrote: post #83

vcxzxcv wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for this post. I'm debating applying to a state University right now. Coming from a poor background (and still being poor) I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers. You speak of "dropping baggage", and for me, this is next to impossible because of my poor dental health. As soon as I open my mouth people assume I must be some meth head. My mom has dementia and can barely take care of her self and my dad is…

Hang in there! I don't mean to sound trite, but if your personal situation allows you to go to college, do it. It will pay off in the end. I stress personal situation. You'll always be able to fix your teeth later - after college you will be able to get a good job with good health insurance. (& that can help fix a lot of things) I'm not sure about your personal situation with your parents - I can't moralize on that.…

Thanks. I think no matter what I'm going to at least try to further my education. I wasn't aware of the school medical/dental benefits being mentioned in this thread, so I'll keep that in mind when applying too.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#112

Post by _delirium » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:17 PM UTC

Crito wrote: post #32

I am curious whether anybody else has experienced this in professional settings. I make as much money as most of my peers at work, but fairly regularly I am made aware of the fact that my upbringing was less affluent than many of theirs. They have stories about exotic vacations they went on with their families, while my stories are about manual labor on farms. On some occasions somebody has made a crack at the expens…

I've definitely noticed that, though I think it varies by region and industry quite a bit. Engineering feels to me a little more "blue-collar" than the tech industry in its attitudes, even though engineers often don't make any less money. Some may have to do with where people come from, e.g. in large parts of engineering, the big "feeder schools" are good but not "elite" public schools: places like Purdue, Texas A&M, and Ohio State. People who at least sometimes work on-site in plants might also have more direct contact with blue-collar workers and feel more part of the same enterprise, though that is a minority of engineers.

In terms of region, SF, LA, and NYC are just about the worst for being full of "moneyed family" type attitudes. I lived some years in Indiana and it was far more tolerable on that front, despite what you might expect from the respective regions' politics.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#113

Post by bmm6o » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:17 PM UTC

dpiers wrote: post #103

vcxzxcv wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for this post. I'm debating applying to a state University right now. Coming from a poor background (and still being poor) I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers. You speak of "dropping baggage", and for me, this is next to impossible because of my poor dental health. As soon as I open my mouth people assume I must be some meth head. My mom has dementia and can barely take care of her self and my dad is…

I was in your situation 8 years ago. I decided to furlough my entrepreneurial endeavors and learn to code so I could get a high paying job with benefits and afford to get my teeth fixed. I went to a state school, hustled my way into the game industry and later the startup world, and have gotten +$40k in dental work done over the last 4 years. It's not always easy, but if you're smart and work hard, it gets better. If…

Also be aware that many employers offer flex-spending accounts for healthcare, which allows you to pay for certain health-related expenses with pre-tax money. There can be downsides (e.g. "use it or lose it"), but for planned procedures it can reduce the bottom-line impact by quite a bit.

(Probably not relevant in GP's position, but hopefully someone finds it useful)

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#114

Post by vcxzxcv » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:19 PM UTC

lotsofmangos wrote: post #100

vcxzxcv wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think cleaning them is going to make them grow back or reverse the decay that's already happened. My dental health is the result of not having dental insurance for most of my life. I brush three times a day and I quit drinking soda and eating candy a while ago. >Grow up and do something about it. Uhh.. I am. >get over your social anxiety and meet people who will pay you. I'm doing what I can. I plan on buildi…

One thing to keep in mind is that there are many places around the world that have excellent dentists at far cheaper prices than you will get in the USA. I know a few people in the UK who have travelled abroad for cosmetic dental work as it saved them thousands. Edit - here's the kind of prices you get in Eastern Europe http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/private-treatment-abroad/which-co... Though it may be cheaper for you t…

Thanks. I've considered traveling abroad to save money, but I'm weary of the quality of work that I'll get. Once I'm ready to have work done I plan on closely examining my options.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#115

Post by sliverstorm » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:19 PM UTC

stegosaurus wrote: post #9

I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try. The closest I can come is to say that this idea of inclusiveness is terminally broken. It's a sort of bandage over a huge chasm of differences. For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop cultu…

The same thing happens just by attending college, as education is also a divider. I tend to associate with people who have degrees, and have lost touch with friends from my past who graduated high school and work in stockrooms. We simply live in different worlds.

I think any time you try to migrate to a different group you wind up leaving things behind. Gain something, lose something.

Which, I don't know, seems OK to me. Accents, clothes, and pop culture references might be dear to people for whom culture is all they have. But to me they hold no value by themselves. I wouldn't, for example, avoid an education just so I can cling to the culture I am currently in.

Also, at least among the people I know, a lot of us come from very different backgrounds. Nobody hides their family and their hometown but none of us can relate to eachother's childhoods, so we just don't talk about it a whole lot. Which is OK too.

Anyway, migrating groups I think is always a surreal experience, as is visiting groups you don't belong to.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#116

Post by taurath » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:19 PM UTC

Crito wrote: post #32

I am curious whether anybody else has experienced this in professional settings. I make as much money as most of my peers at work, but fairly regularly I am made aware of the fact that my upbringing was less affluent than many of theirs. They have stories about exotic vacations they went on with their families, while my stories are about manual labor on farms. On some occasions somebody has made a crack at the expens…

Its always amazing to me how otherwise fairly empathetic people can be 100% blind to how people below their social class live and what problems they have, and then I remember how little I know about the struggles of people in say west africa. The social glue that keeps people's friends in one class is pretty strong.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#117

Post by hkmurakami » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:20 PM UTC

newpattern wrote: post #34

I attended Stanford business school on scholarship. I was brought up in a middle class household, not poor. I couldn't fit in with the rich kids, many of whom were sons/daughters of millionaire/billionaires, the bankers and the consultants. All the students were obsessed with networking and as a "lowly" engineer pursuing an MBA, my classmates never considered me worth getting to know. I tried but couldn't really forg…

Business school is another beast entirely, in my experience. I studied engineering at an Ivy League school and sure I didn't fit in with the main finance/consulting/billionaire's child crowd, but there was a sizeable minority of peers pursuing careers in academia, medicine, etc. that I bonded with.

In business school, the ratio of mainstream to sidestream was skewed so badly towards the mainstream that it was difficult to even keep my head above water amidst the torrent of "networkers" like you said.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#118

Post by eastofeast » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:27 PM UTC

Great article. That story struck a chord with me. Some changes to the settings. Replace an American Ivy league with an elite IIT in India.

It was rare to find a first generation engineering student who came from a humble background. My peers were fairly affluent, upper-middle class or middle class at the least. Enjoyment was proportional to thickness of their wallet. They didn't do anything abnormal or flashy. But it was hard in so many ways. After all how do you justify skipping their fun events, trips and parties?

I wanted to write some more. But don't feel like reliving that past. So making an abrupt end.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#119

Post by lotsofmangos » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:31 PM UTC

vcxzxcv wrote: post #114

lotsofmangos wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One thing to keep in mind is that there are many places around the world that have excellent dentists at far cheaper prices than you will get in the USA. I know a few people in the UK who have travelled abroad for cosmetic dental work as it saved them thousands. Edit - here's the kind of prices you get in Eastern Europe http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/private-treatment-abroad/which-co... Though it may be cheaper for you t…

Thanks. I've considered traveling abroad to save money, but I'm weary of the quality of work that I'll get. Once I'm ready to have work done I plan on closely examining my options.

St Martin in the French Caribbean has a good reputation. Private dental work is very good in many places around the world. I know two people who had their teeth fixed while they were in India and they both had excellent work done.

edit - You could maybe find another reason to travel, one that you can get some sort of help with. Say you want to study the background of The Martians http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Martians_%28group%29 and try to blag a flight to Budapest.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#120

Post by dbbolton » Wed, Apr 22, 2015, 11:53 PM UTC

s_q_b wrote: post #47

dbbolton wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop culture references, the 'back home...' stories. Avoid the discussions about parents. The list goes on. This sounds like a perfect summary of Dick Whitman's transition into Don Draper.

I was thinking Gatsby, which echoed a lot of how Fitzgerald felt at Princeton.

Even better since Draper never went to college.