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HN Help: I'm lost

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Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#231

Post by caffeine »

duh wrote: post #168
shimon wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a cruel way to look at it. If the guy is more interested in spending time with his family than working, and he's able to find someone who values his 8 hours enough to provide stable employment, then he's found a working arrangement that suits his values. As long as he believes in those values -- and isn't just accepting them by societal default -- there's no reason he should feel guilty.

> That's a cruel way to look at it. I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm reminding him that his (salaried) labor is making someone else wealthy. For those of us who have well developed senses of self-esteem, this is a wholly unacceptable situation.

Only if your self-esteem is tied to your wealth. That would be a shame.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#232

Post by scott_s »

hapless wrote: post #218
caffeine wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am utterly unhappy with my life. How is that not pain?

Your brain is pretty well set, like a thermostat. If he's in pain now, with his effete lifestyle and cushy job, poverty isn't going to improve his lot. If anything, our original poster should consider psychiatric care. This kind of seething misery isn't often fixed by dickering around your professional life.

I disagree. Talk to grad students who both don't want to quit, but also don't see any viable paths to graduation. Being in such situations - where you feel stuck - for long periods of time can lead to depression.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#233

Post by Evgeny »

bluebird wrote: post #63
jacquesm wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Emigrate. Change your line of business (I went in to alternative energy for 5 years) Learn a new trade (for me: metal working, Cad-Cam) Right now I'm again going through such a phase of change, I have absolutely no idea what it is leading to but so far it has been extremely interesting. Life is all about the journey. Security in life is worth absolutely nothing, as soon as you feel that you are becoming 'secure' that…

"The price of being a wolf is loneliness. The price of being a sheep is boredom. Choose carefully what you will be."

Okay. I tried to find the author of the quote and the top Google result now points to HN. Is it from the book "Ignore Everybody and 39 Other Keys to Creativity"?

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#234

Post by rsheridan6 »

duh wrote: post #168
shimon wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a cruel way to look at it. If the guy is more interested in spending time with his family than working, and he's able to find someone who values his 8 hours enough to provide stable employment, then he's found a working arrangement that suits his values. As long as he believes in those values -- and isn't just accepting them by societal default -- there's no reason he should feel guilty.

> That's a cruel way to look at it. I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm reminding him that his (salaried) labor is making someone else wealthy. For those of us who have well developed senses of self-esteem, this is a wholly unacceptable situation.

It seems that you look down on those who work as salaried labor. I would not want to work for you. I hope that whatever project you're working on can be done with just you and a cofounder.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#235

Post by unalone »

run4yourlives wrote: post #215
Eliezer wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you under the impression that religion is harmless fun? Read a history book. Even in modern developed countries, people who turn to religion out of desperation often end up seriously hurt. A huge mainstream cult is still a cult. There are better arguments that could be posted against why you should turn to Jesus, but I'm not ashamed to downvote the original comment. It's not good advice. I wonder... if I'd posted…

There is a post ending with "Namaste" in this thread that has definite Hindu/Buddhist references. There is however no meaningless attack on that poster. Clearly the answer to your last question is yes.

"Namaste" means "peace". It's not an inherently religious word.

That guy gave lots of secular advice and ended with the word. This post is all "Go to Jesus." There's a difference.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#236

Post by gloob »

duh wrote: post #168
shimon wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a cruel way to look at it. If the guy is more interested in spending time with his family than working, and he's able to find someone who values his 8 hours enough to provide stable employment, then he's found a working arrangement that suits his values. As long as he believes in those values -- and isn't just accepting them by societal default -- there's no reason he should feel guilty.

> That's a cruel way to look at it. I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm reminding him that his (salaried) labor is making someone else wealthy. For those of us who have well developed senses of self-esteem, this is a wholly unacceptable situation.

Indeed. Work hard enough, and your own unsalaried labour might even be able to make you poor. Much better for everyone involved.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#237

Post by keeptrying »

I think what your looking for is inner peace (as cliche as that sounds). I would love to be able to say something right here to be able to make you comprehend what I mean by "inner peace" but I'm not that capable yet.

Read the "The New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It'll explain to you what you need to know. Based on that you can make your decision.

The best part about that book is that you will be able to make your decision from a place which is not fear.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#238

Post by 10ren »

Good advice here, especially the fundamentals that can be done now (e.g. exercise.)

"What Color is Your Parachute" is a great career-change guide; in particular, on evaluating skills based on what you enjoy. It's enjoyment both in the doing and the having done. i.e. happy in the process of it, and proud of/satisfied with the outcome. Not suffering for a great outcome; nor blissing away for nothing - instead, bliss for a great outcome. I belabour the point because it can be elusive to achievement focussed types like myself.

This exercise puts me back in contact with what is actually fulfilling and meaningful to me. Without this information, it's hard for me to carve out a job that I like, even if I'm the one creating a job for myself (which I am).

Like the old guy said, "know thyself". Good advice for the lost.

Re: HN Help: I'm lost

#239

Post by Diakronik »

synnik wrote: post #31

This sounds a lot like my situation. I think it is more common than people admit. I can only tell you what I am doing. I told my wife how I feel. I told my boss how I feel. Strangely, my boss had a lot more power to improve my situation than my wife did. Admittedly, he is a good boss. I'm working from home about one day a week, and I've been able to control more of my projects. But my wife is 20 weeks pregnant with u…

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

  --  Saint Francis of Assisi
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