Do engineers really make better spouses? • Hacker News Board

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#71

Post by cyberpanther » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 1:56 PM UTC

zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

I would say the engineers that can't communicate aren't the married ones, thus, not bringing the average down. So yes I agree but that doesn't mean that the article is false either.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#72

Post by swalsh » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 1:58 PM UTC

lolipop12 wrote: post #42

Engineers have engineering degrees. Programming != engineering. Just like MCSE != engineer. Just like 'helpdesk engineer' != engineer.

When I filed my taxes this year, I wrote what was on my business card "Software Engineer". They're self reported titles.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#73

Post by thewhitetulip » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 1:59 PM UTC

lectrick wrote: post #66

zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

> Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills. I like to think that I have some pretty good communication skills, and that they make me a better programmer.

>I like to think that I have some pretty good communication skills

You can have excellent communication skills, but there is this 'nerdism' that comes from being totally into computers, and that renders people away from social skills, I feel the OP meant that. So you having pretty good communication skills is an exception rather a norm

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#74

Post by QuadDamaged » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:00 PM UTC

I am an engineer. I used to be married to a dancer.

#FML

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#75

Post by gsam » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:03 PM UTC

zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

The general programmer, no. But, at the risk of inflating the title, software engineer is supposed to mean something. Especially in places where they actually are part of professional bodies. In my studies, computer science and software engineering impart two very different experiences. That's not to say that X is better than Y at Z, but the focus is different. I very much do believe that anybody who calls themselves a good software engineer should have great communication skills.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#76

Post by aperture » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:06 PM UTC

From a quick google search, a link to the study: http://www.sagepub.com/bartol3e/study/articles/Aamodt.pdf

And what looks to be a slideshow presentation on the matter: http://maamodt.asp.radford.edu/Research%20-%20Forensic/SPCP%...

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#77

Post by ollysb » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:07 PM UTC

I suspect that engineers also tend to spend a lot less of their time meeting members of the opposite sex.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#78

Post by sosuke » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:08 PM UTC

fizzbatter wrote: post #33

zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

Fwiw, i feel like that is the key to my relationship. I'm a (mediocre) software engineer, and by far the driving force of the communication in the relationship. Now, my SO and I are both a bit "broken" individuals, so it's not like we're perfect by any stretch of the imagination.. but i'm certain that without a constant push for communication and a lack of "letting things stew" that we would be in a far worse state a…

No need for the disclaimer, I completely sympathize with your position and agree that communication is essential. I push constantly for communication and it helps to kill those little nagging voices and thoughts. Sometimes we're shocked at what the other is thinking that we were meaning or thinking! When left in a room alone without communication your imagination can get the best of you.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#79

Post by VLM » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:08 PM UTC

jay-saint wrote: post #27

Have you walked into the average engineering classroom? I remember my EE class had 90% male population. We were not exactly the coolest or most attractive looking group of guys. I think being grateful to finally meet someone that likes us plays a little role. More seriously, people with engineering backgrounds tend to be analytic and may have made more logical choices prior to marriage, that result in longer lasting…

I agree with you and you make good points, but hivemind has decided the "good communicator" is a 1:1 mapping with being a slick salesman or marketing consultant or lounge lizard, whereas obviously they're referencing communication WRT deep analytical study of communication, mostly in datasheets and textbooks but also product specs and legal regulations.

An engineer needs to be able to get past the marketing blather and dive deep into communication to figure out if a 15 volt rated capacitor will or will not short out and if it does how to prevent a house fire or about 1e6 similar engineering analogies, and how does the related ESR of the cap impact circuit performance etc etc.

Its not a huge analogy jump to seeing past a spouses likely very positive "marketing" message and analyzing all their forms of communication to figure out if a long term commitment to that specific implementation of "spouse product" will result in horrific crash and burn or perhaps it can be proven to work.

I looked thru the ranked list of engineers with an eye toward "long term sustainability" and "ease of do-overs" and was totally unsurprised to find the nukes and CivEng and ChemEng with the best stats and software engineers not doing so well. There are some outliers like the naval architects which I'm guessing is some kind of life-work balance thing, ship engineer going on a multi month cruise might lead to marital problems, or making a career of emergency flights out to some international port to supervise exotic structural or engine repairs might impact lifestyle at home quite a bit.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#80

Post by mattdotc » Tue, Apr 14, 2015, 2:09 PM UTC

Fuxy wrote: post #62

balabaster wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also... there's a huge assumption that more money equals less financial problems. One thing I've learned from the experience of my own finances is that the times in my life when I've been flat broke, I had less financial problems than in times when I've been flush with cash. The higher your income, the higher your debt load - and this is caused by easy access to credit, social conditioning to chasing the dream, climb…

I don't have a credit card for this exact reason. I get at least 5 invitations by mail every week but i don't really need it. Spend the money you have not the money you can get.

Hopefully you're building up credit some other way. You can still spend the money you have with a credit card. I pay my balance in full twice a month, just to ensure I never pay any interest.

It's better than paying with a debit card because you aren't on the hook for fraud. I learned this lesson the hard way.