You mentioned that your colleague had produced a patch that did file handle passing? Is that patch available? My first thought on reading that was, how many other people have tried that very task. Im wondering if it would be helpful to HAPrpxy if your patch was made available?
Thank you for sharing the plug qdisc, this is hugely useful in any number of situations. Did you find any others by chance?
I can see why some would say this solution is brittle, but actually I quite like it. It feels elegant and The Right Way to do it.