Do you exercise regularly and get enough sleep? They do wonders for my alertness and motivation in the evenings after getting home from work. I have developer friends that don't do either of those and pretty much veg out after getting home.
Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
221–230 of 426 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#222Let it go. Stop taking a tally of your age every morning. You're young and you're doing well! Keep up the good work, and try not to stress about things so much.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#223I've been a life-long procrastinator. There is no cure, but it can get better. These are the best articles you can read to help break the cycle:
Why Procrastinators Procrastinate http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastin...
How to Beat Procrastination http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.ht...
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#224Earlier quoted context omitted.
Reading the OP and this comment I can't help but think "hmm, sounds like me when I'm unmedicated." I'm a very ambitious and motivated person. I love stupid hard, nitty gritty problems. I've been writing code since I was 8. I landed my first coding job when I was 16 (working for the USAF Research Laboratory, no less). I'm now 29. Growing up I was always driven by my interests. If I wasn't interested, I wasn't going to…
This sounds A LOT like myself. I've never really considered going to a psychiatrist or neurologist, I thought my experience was somewhat normal. Do you mind elaborating some about what sort of medication/condition are you talking about?
If you want a possibly contrasting experience, feel free to email me (see profile), I was diagnosed with ADHD-C within the past year after many years of "this is just how I work, there's nothing that can be done".
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#225Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes, definitely this! If you're in your 20's and feeling like your "whole life" is wasted/lame/you're a loser .. well, have kids. It'll change your whole outlook, hopefully before you hit 30. Kids are awesome. They teach you that, at 20-something, you're not actually that experienced. You don't actually have a lot of time on the Earth. 20-something year olds - you're still kids. There's 3 or 4 more decades ahead of y…
What confuses me is how every person I know with kids complains their life is over, they don't do a lot, they have no control, they have no time for themselves and their life is basically over. And this is a mid-30s guy with a lot of friends with kids. And yet having kids is wonderful. I joked to my friend it is like Stockholm Syndrome. You have no choice. You made your bed and must now live in it. Of course you are…
I don't understand parents who feel trapped, but I am not one of those helicopter parents. I let me kids do things on their own, pick their own activities, and, within reason, do whatever they want. I have no interest in living through them.
Having kids is a totally subjective decision. There are plenty of parents who hate their children, who felt forced into having them by family or society, and end up making their kids' lives terrible (or, in some really extreme cases, murdering them). If you feel pressured into anything, it's probably a bad start.
I'm 32 and I have 3 kids, but I meant to have them. There was no accident, and certainly no regret. I had my first kid, my daughter, when I was 24.
Then again, I never had feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness. I just wanted to have kids while I was young enough to roughhouse with them if they wanted. I grew up with too many friends with OLD parents (who are now dead, generally) who couldn't do anything with us because their back was out or their knees were busted. It's a sad thing to see.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#226> It's been getting better. It's not, it's getting worse. You are in a cycle of slave-driving yourself. You remind me of Jiddu Krishnamurthi's assertion that "Influence acts strongest when you don't realize that it is acting". I would venture that most of your accomplishments are a result of being told what you should do, what you should be. You will NEVER have the energy that the people whom you compare with have. B…
OP here. Believe me when I say that there's nothing more I'd rather do than what I'm doing right now. Not even in question. I love programming, I love the project I'm working on, and I love the ideas that are waiting to be worked on in my future. My heart fills with joy when I think about holding those finished products in my hands. When I get into the flow, I can zone out for days and work on my projects with hardly…
I've had roughly the same issues as your main post. If you are interested in a personal conversation, send me an email (profile).
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#227Breathe, I was where you were a couple of months ago literally when I was 26. It's intimidating reading hn and seeing everyone's accomplishments in summation. I read 2 books that helped place things in perspective "The Growth Mindset" and "The One Thing". They'll help you be more focused, productive, and stop beating yourself up.
I didn't start coding in earnest till 25. I don't count my cs degree. I lamented my choice to go to architecture school after graduation. I COULD have gone to CMU or MIT most likely on scholarship. I regretted my choice deeply until recently when I realized I use the thought processes learned in my design lab more than anything I learned from my cs degree.
Recently I ve been hyper productive and am slowly marching towards my first product.
Meditate a bit, take stock of what you want to work on, and come up with a reasonable plan to get there. Take the time to figure out how you best work.
It's all going to be ok.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#228> It's been getting better. It's not, it's getting worse. You are in a cycle of slave-driving yourself. You remind me of Jiddu Krishnamurthi's assertion that "Influence acts strongest when you don't realize that it is acting". I would venture that most of your accomplishments are a result of being told what you should do, what you should be. You will NEVER have the energy that the people whom you compare with have. B…
>> You will NEVER have the energy that the people whom you compare with have. Because they are being themselves, and are connected to the natural wellspring of motivation that comes from genuine interest, while you are the salmon swimming upstream, aping societal ideals and trying to be someone you are not. >> Almost no one takes my advice because it's so threatening to be natural. What if you are not naturally ambit…
> Basically, comparison causes conflict, conflict causes anxiety, anxiety causes fear, and fear makes mind dull.
Unfortunately, I can report that I have done all of my best work in my career when I was extraordinarily anxious, feeling like I was holding to the side of the cliff with just my fingernails. Whenever things have started to get too comfortable, I found that hubris has disrupted my successes.
It's a sad thought, but I see absolutely no reason to believe that the natural state of humanity is to be happy (or, more specifically, content). The Environment of Evolutionary Adaptiveness [0] seems like a pretty harsh place, and that's also where I've found most brains function best.
[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology#Environ...
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#229Your 20's should be fun. There are are a whole host of things that you CAN do when you're young that will be much more difficult when you are older.
Working really, really hard is technically one of those things, but it's generally a really bad use of time. Especially if you don't have an overriding passion for it.
If you are 26 and have money in the bank...your options are wide open. My advice: Immediately quit your job and go contemplate life from an exotic beach or a remote mountain top. Meet some people, see the world.
If the only things you've done in life are school and work, it's not very surprising that you haven't found your passion yet.
Go have fun!!
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?
#230What about teaching others - young people. You seem to have the passion for programming and I think you could find great fulfillment by sharing that craft with others- not to mention making a huge difference in someone else's life, particularly someone who never realized that programming was an option for them.