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Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

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121–130 of 426 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#121

Too late because you're 26? More like too early. The way you deal with the gnawing in your chest is to correct your view of success with a healthy dose of reality. The 21 year old success is almost exclusively a lie, little more than a media fabrication; don't buy what they're selling. Here's a nice list, and the age at which they got their big hit: Paul Graham (31, Viaweb), Jan Koum (33, WhatsApp), Brian Acton (37,…

At 38, most of them were still younger than I am.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#122
post #64

> It's been getting better. It's not, it's getting worse. You are in a cycle of slave-driving yourself. You remind me of Jiddu Krishnamurthi's assertion that "Influence acts strongest when you don't realize that it is acting". I would venture that most of your accomplishments are a result of being told what you should do, what you should be. You will NEVER have the energy that the people whom you compare with have. B…

This isn't kindergarten where you can just show up and start scribbling. Even if the actual act of coding (or painting, or martial arts, or writing, or watering roadside plants) is effortless, there's a hell of a lot of effort that goes into just getting yourself in a position to do it. Example: perhaps painting is effortless for you, but putting yourself in a position to paint involves a lot of mundane things that r…

We are probably not in disagreement. My point is to choose the direction of your ship from inside. There will be a lot of shovelling of coal into the fire in the dirty engine room. I'm not claiming that you just stand at the railing and say, "That way", and other people will do it for you / "the universe" will do it for you magically.

But the quality of energy will be different when you are shovelling the coal if YOU chose where the ship is going, if the dream of what lies on the other shore is yours. That vision (in your case, of starting your own business) is what fuelled your efforts, IMHO.

Why does he want to waste time on HN? Somewhere inside his heart is screaming a voice, "No, I don't want to do this". He's not lazy (CS top 10 school). It's just that the self-flagellation stops working for many people once they hit 20.

The difficulty is that the outer actions of someone like you (self-motivated) and someone like him (self-flagellating) may be the same. So the poor guy (or gal) tries to be like you and suffers.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#123
At the end of their life, almost nobody is worried about what projects they got done for work. They worry about how much time was spent with friends and family and what they did in their personal life. There is often regret over working too much and focusing too much on their own projects.

I think the rest of HN can give sufficient answers to your direct question, but I truly encourage you to think now about the underlying worry you mentioned of what you will have accomplished at the end of your life. Your priorities at that time are highly unlikely to be related to what you have coded.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#125
Creation is passion I believe all developers share. Many are always working hard, trying to find the the next thing but forget to appreciate what we have right in front of us. Family, friends, good health.

Stop thinking about work. Start thinking about life. You're in your 20's. You have the rest of your entire life to think about work. Take your savings, grab a friend/family member, or go it solo, and go travel.

Right now. Before you get a second older. Before you start another job or think you don't have enough money. Before you have kids. Before you think about more work. Tomorrow you'll wake up and be 30 something, with kids, a fat mortgage and real life expenses and you won't have the freedom you clearly do at this point.

Take the chance of a life time and go travel. Go recharge. Go create a life altering experience. Do it with someone you love. Because when our time is at an end the things that matter are the people you love and the experiences you shared. Not what you built, not your HN posts, not your code, not your company or projects.

People remember people and maybe along the way you'll learn about yourself. This is the goal everyone shares.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#126
Great work is great work, regardless of age. I am 27 and still find time to work on personal projects that give me a creative buzz, but its for me and me only.

It sounds like you have developed an irrational fear around the concept of ageism. The less you worry about what others think the more productive and creative you will be.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#127
I am exactly like you now, but I am 22. I feel like a retard when I see 18 year olds contributing to open source projects. To an extent we only tend to compare ourselves to outliers and feel like a piece of crap. So, while you have wasted some time, you still have ages to accomplish something great. Time is not your enemy.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#128
> I'm a 26 y.o. ... I am crippled by the feeling that it's "too late".

> CS degree from a top-10,

> nough savings to last a few years

> and he's half a decade younger than me! How will I ever be able to catch up? Experience-wise, I'm still a junior dev.

> ...

Dude, are you joking? ... and who the heck contributes to this waste of HN frontpage screen estate?

This is a whiny humblebrag post about 1st world problems by a spoild teenager in his twenties ... are you kidding me? Come back when you have interesting problems.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional jealousy and getting older?

#130
post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the mark of genuine flow :) wow...you should start your own "do whatever you want" university. Pretty sure all the young impressionable minds around here will enjoy it.

College student here. I've read a lot into the "do your own thing" mentality, especially the "don't go to university just do stuff", such as at Thiel summits, startup events. I personally love the idea of founding a startup, so I've given it a lot of thought. It's important for me to work on my own terms and to do something I find meaningful, and so I enjoyed riding along with the crowd that follows the above mentali…

Great points! Yes, "critical thinking" a great phrase for it.

I agree with a lot of your points. The "don't go to university" / "dropouts are successful" meme is particularly alarming to me. Unless your achievement are stupendous, most employers, even startups, judge you based on your level of education, your Uni's ranking, etc; Why discard that data?

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