There are many complex factors contributing to your perceived socio-economic well being or lack there of, I don't have all the answers. I do have some advice though, stop running a pity party, I have fallen into this trap myself in the past. Here is some perspective, every 10 seconds a child dies from malnourishment. Moving forward there are beacons of hope, knowledge is becoming open, accessible and free for almost everyone instead of being sold as a commodity and I can't imagine fiat currency surviving the decade...I mean come on people lol(economics is pseudo-science)
Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
21–30 of 88 posts
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#22Yes you've struggled to get to where you are but you've made it this far. And well done! Quite frankly quite a few people in your situation might have given up already but you keep on moving forward. And that's a good thing. Look back on your achievements and be proud of yourself. Look forward to your next goal(s) and keep on fighting.
For inspiration you can read this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/25/successful-people-o... and know that you're not alone in "the struggle".
Bon courage mon ami.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#23If you have a roof over your head, 3 meals a day and a family, You are already doing better that 60-70% people in the world. Be thankful for what you already have. I would like to recommend this article to you: http://johnnybtruant.com/the-universe-doesnt-give-a-flying-f... . Read A LOT. If you want success, read a LOT of books and articles that talk about success. Your situation will change surely.
Btw, I would like to redirect you to your original post. You are only talking about the things that you do not like. Starting focusing on things that you do like and your life will take that direction. :)
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#24Somewhere right now exists a person that has put in the least amount of effort and got out the maximum return.
Whether it's a dollar spent on a lottery ticket that yielded millions of dollars, or it's one resume that got noticed by the right person, or it's one hello that led to a storybook romance.
You, in comparison, will have it hard.
Likewise, a billion people right now wake up with no electricity, no water, no food. Or they have some, but not enough. Or they have enough but the amount of manual labor and effort they put in to getting said resources takes a lot.
Whether it's trading their health, their dignity, or their honor for said resources.
You, in comparison, have it better and easier.
You are in the middle of this game that's lasted for the entirety of humanity.
The game is also built upon perception and presentation. Meaning many others purposely spend themselves dedicated to presenting themselves to others as successful and happy while hiding the ugliness. It's conditioned into us from parenting, schooling, and advertising.
Any deviance is seen as something to run away from. Any failure seen as bad. Hard work and struggling itself isn't valuable, success from hard work and struggling is lauded.
Your choices are to focus harder and harder on what you don't have or to focus on adding to your life. One good strategy for adding to your life is helping others with no expectations. Detachment from expectations is most important, as that's what causes suffering when your expectations and reality do not match up.
The choice is yours.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#25Buddy, you are not the only one! Many of us have struggled with things that appear so easy to others, like job interviews or finding a girlfriend. I don't know you well enough, but like somebody else here has said, I think the key may be to continue to develop your social skills. My strategy has been to actively do things that make me uncomfortable. Does starting a conversation with that stranger at a meetup make me feel a little uneasy? That's a clear sign that I should go do it! I think if you follow this path you will find your life improving in many ways, as I have. Feel free to message me if you need any additional guidance or encouragement, email is in profile.
If you are feeling depressed or frequently anxious, which you may be, I would suggest finding a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. They use a scientific approach to help you deal with problems of depression or social anxiety, and they can also act as a coach to keep you motivated as you overcome these issues.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#26Just think about that you are not only one. In your circle or the people you are able to observe may have better life but it does not mean that you are the only one around who struggles. The solution is yet simple, don't compare yourself with others considered better than you. Because there will be always better than you and this will make you unhappy.
We are here to play the roles that is given to us. You may think that some people born lucky but in reality the luck is just relative. You may consider yourself unlucky or always struggling but what if you have live it and it makes you stronger for better life. Trick is just not quitting.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#27I think it's unfortunate this has been downvoted; I think that many people feel the same way you do. It's probably worth thinking about whether your colleagues' life is really as easy as you think it is. What you see of them is probably them at their best; you probably don't see their hidden financial struggles or family struggles or professional struggles. Most people don't talk about anything like this. So personal…
What makes you think it has been "downvoted"? (There is no downvote for submissions. Submissions without URLs are automatically penalised. It might have been flagged, but what makes you think it has?)
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#28It all depends who you compare yourself with. Sure, there are better looking and richer people around you. But being young, in good health and living in a developed country (?) makes you very privileged.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#29In math, every answer is made by a question. In practical reality, every result is made by clear causes in problems. One problem that we have as human beings is that we cannot see the causes that we keep inside ourselves. That's why it's not easy to recognize what makes the results we get in life. For this reason, a good teacher can be compared to a mirror – they simply show us ourselves, just as we are. Without such…
Good and well-written advice.
I would also suggest that the OP think of the steps taken towards any particular goal as planting seeds. If one plants enough seeds, a certain amount is bound to bear fruit. A former sales manager of mine called it "the pipeline", and he told me to always have several leads in the pipeline (ie, always be planting seeds). Not being a natural salesman, I found the same advice could be applied to life.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#30If you have a roof over your head, 3 meals a day and a family, You are already doing better that 60-70% people in the world. Be thankful for what you already have. I would like to recommend this article to you: http://johnnybtruant.com/the-universe-doesnt-give-a-flying-f... . Read A LOT. If you want success, read a LOT of books and articles that talk about success. Your situation will change surely. Btw, I would like…
This is a false-equivalence. Just because many of us on this site have it better than 99.9% of the rest of the world does not mean we have a struggle and life is easy. I suggest you read this piece "The problem with rich kids today" - https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201310/the-problem-...