I am 29.5 yrs old and was born in poor family. First it was education , paying college fees. I had to work since 16 part-time for paying fees. Then landed a job. Worst professional environment one could imagine.
Changed job last year. After marathon search ,apply, reject,re-apply landed a opportunity after 3 months.
In personal life also I am yet to find girlfriend. Never had one.
When I look at my colleagues, friends I feel like many of them have it quite easy. College, job, personal life but its me who has to try ( or repeat process 1000 times) for simple things.
Why this is so? Its just makes me frustrated.
Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
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Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#2I have all the things you're striving for and it feels like my colleagues, friends do much more than me much more easily. If you look around it's very easy to find people who have a much harder time. I'm beginning to suspect that it's relative.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#3The truth is we all struggle. We are absorbed in our own problems, so we don't often realize what others go through.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#4Everyone experiences failure in their life. I don't think you can measure "struggling" by looking at metrics like the quality of your first job.
I've also worked since 16, nobody covered my transportation or sent me to college. My childhood home was about the size of the garage for the home I now own as an adult. You are not defined by your family nor upbringing though they play a contributing role. But you're probably going to need some goals.
Think hard: What are you most passionate about in life? What are your aspirations?
Now think harder: Does the way you spend your time on a day-to-day basis match up against your passions? What are you doing to successfully achieve your goals and aspirations?
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#5All we can hope for is a healthy body, sound mind, access to education, freedom of thought and expression, freedom from violence, a functioning job market, and perhaps a decent safety net for when things really do all go to shit.
All the rest, as they say, c'est la vie. Striving, wanting, yearning is absolutely a part of the human condition. Good luck in all your struggles.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#6I think it's unfortunate this has been downvoted; I think that many people feel the same way you do. It's probably worth thinking about whether your colleagues' life is really as easy as you think it is. What you see of them is probably them at their best; you probably don't see their hidden financial struggles or family struggles or professional struggles. Most people don't talk about anything like this. So personally I think it is brave to ask this question and I wish I saw topics like this discussed more often.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#7Don't compare yourself to other people. Just try to improve upon yourself. Set smaller goals, so you can feel a pattern of success and build some confidence (which you'll need with the ladies, and getting a job). A cover page on your resume with your sob story and some positive inspirational messages about how you don't give up might help get you in the door with prospective employers. Just try to be happy. If you're upset or depressed, it shows, and people don't want to be around that.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#8I don't think your experiences are that unusual.[edit UNusual]
The paradigm of the present society seems to be ultra-competitive "meritocracy". By that token, it fails to value a substantial portion of its citizens.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#9People who had it easy don't have your resilience. You may think it's clichè, but I've seen it again and again: easy life makes for an unhealthily low stress-threshold. On the other hand, your experiences might leverage future feats.
Re: Ask HN: Why do I have to struggle with everything?
#10I am pretty sure more than 1/10th of humanity will be super happy to have a life like you (food on table and roof over head).
When you need inspiration look up, when you need gratitude look down.