The future of loneliness • Hacker News Board

Re: The future of loneliness

#31

Post by coldtea » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:13 AM UTC

obstinate wrote: post #13

cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

Is this much different than many other technological changes in history? Most benefit a large group of people, while having negative consequences for the smaller group. I'm not sure what you mean about the photos thing, but there is obviously a benefiting party from the digital background checks. People can get a sense of folks they might date, and potentially avoid dangerous situations. It sucks that that hurts you…

>Is this much different than many other technological changes in history? Most benefit a large group of people, while having negative consequences for the smaller group.

Not sure. Some seem to benefit small groups while having negative consequences for the larger groups.

Re: The future of loneliness

#32

Post by coldtea » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:14 AM UTC

obstinate wrote: post #19

b08aa8b0dcfce wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe everyone can make mistakes and deserves a second chance. It's not because you've done something bad in the past that you are forever lost.

I think that's a very idealistic thing to believe. But I'll bet you wouldn't wager your retirement savings on a financial planner previously convicted of embezzlement, your children on a nanny with sex conviction, or your life under the scalpel of a doctor who had done time for criminal negligence. And if you would, good on ya. You can be the one to give everyone second chances.

>I think that's a very idealistic thing to believe.

And I think that the inverse is what creates the whole US mess with huge incarceration rates and a doomed black population...

Re: The future of loneliness

#33

Post by rwh86 » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:15 AM UTC

brational wrote: post #8

dman wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me part of what makes the interactions subpar now is that one or more parties is participating via mobile devices and input on mobile is borked. I am overly eager to be brief since typing on the mobile is so painful. This makes it difficult to have nuanced conversations.

I think you hit the nail on the head. My two best college friends and I are all separated now but keep almost daily intellectual communication via gchat. I have to use my phone tho as I work for R&D for a big corp and chat is blocked. It's aggravating. But then later when I can continue a conversation via keyboard the depth and intimacy is much greater. Maybe as speech to text improves it'll get better.

Sounds like a bluetooth keyboard might be helpful.

Re: The future of loneliness

#34

Post by coldtea » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:16 AM UTC

cubano wrote: post #10

enraged_camel wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>>How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check... What? People do this?

Lol...you are obviously not over the age of 40.

Yeah, he only has the benefit of youth, whereas you have all this wisdom...

Re: The future of loneliness

#35

Post by borgia » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:35 AM UTC

I utterly loathe online social networks / social networking. They've become a showcase for society's worst and little more.

Great for people who want to sell you something, or push a political ideology on you, or whore attention for themselves but totally devoid of any actual substance.

I've given them their fair shot. I keep a FB account to occasionally touch base with friends back home and that's it. Twitter is a joke and I wish it the worst. The rest aren't even worth mentioning.

Re: The future of loneliness

#36

Post by KFW504 » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:44 AM UTC

"Loneliness centres on the act of being seen. When a person is lonely, they long to be witnessed, accepted, desired, at the same time as becoming intensely wary of exposure."

We are all walking the line of putting ourselves out there enough in a meaningful, authentic way to feel an organic connection while also combating a fear (that of course varies with the individual) of vulnerability.

The internet provides a little sugar high to create an artificial sweetness of connectivity but fails to (on its own) provide the nutrients needed for a healthy, complete life.

Re: The future of loneliness

#37

Post by pmalynin » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 4:56 AM UTC

"All distances in time and space are shrinking. Man now reaches overnight, by plane, places which formerly took weeks and months of travel ... Man puts the longest distances behind him in the shortest time. He puts greatest distances behind himself and thus puts everything before himself at the shortest range...

What is happening here when, as a result of the abolition of great distances, everything is equally far and equally near? What is this uniformity in which everything is neither far nor near--is, as it were, without distance?

Everything gets lumped together into uniform distancelessness [sic]. How? Is not this merging of everything into the distancelesss [sic] more unearthly that everything bursting apart?"

--Excerpts from The Thing, Martin Heidegger circa 1971

Re: The future of loneliness

#38

Post by webwright » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 5:27 AM UTC

cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

Sorry if this is a silly question-- but if that hangs over you like that, can you just (legally) change your name?

Re: The future of loneliness

#39

Post by anigbrowl » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 5:31 AM UTC

webwright wrote: post #38

cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

Sorry if this is a silly question-- but if that hangs over you like that, can you just (legally) change your name?

In the US, you're required to share information about past felony convictions on job applications and so forth, plus there are companies that specialize in tabulating that sort of information. So trying to start over by concealing your past is treated as inherently suspicious.

Re: The future of loneliness

#40

Post by obstinate » Thu, Apr 02, 2015, 5:32 AM UTC

coldtea wrote: post #32

obstinate wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that's a very idealistic thing to believe. But I'll bet you wouldn't wager your retirement savings on a financial planner previously convicted of embezzlement, your children on a nanny with sex conviction, or your life under the scalpel of a doctor who had done time for criminal negligence. And if you would, good on ya. You can be the one to give everyone second chances.

> I think that's a very idealistic thing to believe. And I think that the inverse is what creates the whole US mess with huge incarceration rates and a doomed black population...

I think you're assuming that I believe the extreme opposite, when in fact I believe a moderate opposite.