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The future of loneliness

theguardian.com

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Re: The future of loneliness

#21

Post by xivzgrev »

obstinate wrote: post #13
cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

Is this much different than many other technological changes in history? Most benefit a large group of people, while having negative consequences for the smaller group. I'm not sure what you mean about the photos thing, but there is obviously a benefiting party from the digital background checks. People can get a sense of folks they might date, and potentially avoid dangerous situations. It sucks that that hurts you…

I don't think it's trying to bury information. I think it's fear that people will jump to conclusion.

Say you do a background check on a promising candidate and they have a felony. You may automatically pass on them. Even if they don't, you're branded as a risk for ever.

Let's say you murdered someone and you e done your time. You're a risk. Maybe it was a crime of passion, but you're more liable to do again than someone who has never done it. So, pass.

While it makes sense from a cold, society level view, what is that person supposed to do if they really want to rehabilitate? Start an online ebay business I suppose...

Re: The future of loneliness

#22

Post by [deleted] »

cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

[deleted]

Re: The future of loneliness

#23

Post by grrowl »

cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

Hopefully with greater connectedness, culture will change to be more accepting. We're making great strides knocking down more obvious forms of prejudice, my heart believes all forms will fall in time.

Re: The future of loneliness

#24

Post by Malician »

brational wrote: post #8
dman wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me part of what makes the interactions subpar now is that one or more parties is participating via mobile devices and input on mobile is borked. I am overly eager to be brief since typing on the mobile is so painful. This makes it difficult to have nuanced conversations.

I think you hit the nail on the head. My two best college friends and I are all separated now but keep almost daily intellectual communication via gchat. I have to use my phone tho as I work for R&D for a big corp and chat is blocked. It's aggravating. But then later when I can continue a conversation via keyboard the depth and intimacy is much greater. Maybe as speech to text improves it'll get better.

I've found that Google's speech to text works surprisingly well for me, and I'm not the very best at clarity and enunciation.

I generally know what it's going to mess up in advance so I can just fix that.

Of course, this isn't very useful for an aurally communal work environment like most offices.

Re: The future of loneliness

#25

Post by [deleted] »

brational wrote: post #8
dman wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me part of what makes the interactions subpar now is that one or more parties is participating via mobile devices and input on mobile is borked. I am overly eager to be brief since typing on the mobile is so painful. This makes it difficult to have nuanced conversations.

I think you hit the nail on the head. My two best college friends and I are all separated now but keep almost daily intellectual communication via gchat. I have to use my phone tho as I work for R&D for a big corp and chat is blocked. It's aggravating. But then later when I can continue a conversation via keyboard the depth and intimacy is much greater. Maybe as speech to text improves it'll get better.

[deleted]

Re: The future of loneliness

#26

Post by meric »

cubano wrote: post #10
enraged_camel wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>>How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check... What? People do this?

Lol...you are obviously not over the age of 40.

I don't know if this suggestion will work because I don't have a criminal record, but this is what I would do if I had one - taking a page from the founder of public relations - If you make it to first date try admit your criminal record then, and tell a story of your emotional life since then to show how you have evolved since then.

"Tell the truth, because sooner or later the public will find out anyway. And if the public doesn't like what you are doing, change your policies and bring them into line with what people want."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivy_Lee

Re: The future of loneliness

#27

Post by meric »

obstinate wrote: post #13
cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

Is this much different than many other technological changes in history? Most benefit a large group of people, while having negative consequences for the smaller group. I'm not sure what you mean about the photos thing, but there is obviously a benefiting party from the digital background checks. People can get a sense of folks they might date, and potentially avoid dangerous situations. It sucks that that hurts you…

Most benefit a large group of people, negative consequences for a smaller group, and provide extreme benefits to a small tiny group.

In terms of Social - Look at youtube videos with millions of views, people spending more time than ever reading about celebrities every ten minutes instead of people around them. Before internet people look at celebrities once a day during their TV sessions, and even before that, only listen about them on radio.

And because people's attention is generally a zero-sum pie, without taking into account population growth, people who weren't good at attracting attention to begin with will lose out.

Re: The future of loneliness

#28

Post by gorachel007 »

Here's an interesting Forbes article about what happens when you unplug for a while; http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2013/02/06/feeling-...

It's more of an issue of technology making us interact in ways that are less human. Check out their link on the study about cell users being less likely to display prosocial behavior.

Re: The future of loneliness

#29

Post by isaacremuant »

cubano wrote: post #6

In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…

> How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away?

You could always meet them face to face and, if you're not comfortable with your past, you need to find a way to be so that you can sell that "the past is past" to those potential partners. Convince yourself in order to convince others.

Re: The future of loneliness

#30

Post by kijin »

> My own peak use of social media arose during a period of painful isolation . . . recently heartbroken and thousands of miles from my family and friends. In many ways, the internet made me feel safe.

I can relate to this. My peak use of social media was while I was attending university on the other side of the world.

But since a couple of years ago, almost everyone I care about is only a local call away from me. Over the last couple of years, I have drastically reduced my social media usage, and it wasn't because of the Snowden revelations. I just don't feel the need to ping someone on when I can just call them up or, even better, meet them IRL.

Having lived for a decade in the second-largest country in the world, my sense of distance also seems to have become a little weird compared to those of others in my home country. Oh, Granny is only a five-hour drive away from me? Why even bother talking on the phone then? I'll just drive there and see her in person this weekend. The less electronics there is between us, the better.

Social media is a fallback option for when there aren't any low-tech alternatives. But if you have healthy legs, there is no need to use a wheelchair with NSA trackers attached to it.

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