"I used to think that the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." — Robin Williams
The future of loneliness
11–20 of 82 posts
Re: The future of loneliness
#12In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…
>>How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check... What? People do this?
Of course people do. I'm sure there are apps that aggregate that type of at a for you in one easy search. Not just for dating, but for employment, renting and other things as well.
To the OP though - if you have a serious criminal record you're going to have to disclose that up front. That's the way it is these days, and as the majority of people don't have a criminal record at all, it's not going to change. You can hardly blame them, as past behaviour is an excellent guide to future behaviour.
Re: The future of loneliness
#13In a world of selfies and shared profiles, how can someone whom has painful memories of seeing themselves in photos ever since childhood supposed to join the party? How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check and discover unsavory things that really cannot be explained away? I ask these question be…
Is this much different than many other technological changes in history? Most benefit a large group of people, while having negative consequences for the smaller group.
I'm not sure what you mean about the photos thing, but there is obviously a benefiting party from the digital background checks. People can get a sense of folks they might date, and potentially avoid dangerous situations. It sucks that that hurts you (assuming your criminal record is not one that people ought to consider dangerous -- if it is, I'm really not sure what to say). But there is a huge group of people that benefit from the increased safety potentially offered by the ability to check up on potential dating partners.
Or, to put it succinctly, why does your interest in hiding your past outweigh the interest of others to know who they are dealing with?
Re: The future of loneliness
#14I feel fundamentally different from this author about what the Internet is doing to my interpersonal relationships, but she makes some good points. I like Facebook very well because, duh, my friends are there. I have lived overseas back in the era when I couldn't possibly afford regular international telephone calls, and relying on aerograms (remember those?)[1] to communicate by postal mail meant a rather slow respo…
I'd agree with you. The mistake often made is mistaking Facebook interactions with real social interactions.
Through social media I can keep in touch with friends from all over the world. Then, if they happen to be visiting or I'm nearby, catching up is easily arranged and not at all awkward because of the information flow in the meantime.
If someone is lacking in social interactions, perhaps social media might be the surface area where that appears, but it's not necessarily a cause or even aggravating factor. I think being alone in a city without any friends would be worse without a connection back to a social circle you do feel comfortable with. I feel like there is an unrealistic expectation placed on social media here.
Re: The future of loneliness
#15Earlier quoted context omitted.
>>How can someone who suffers from a pretty serious criminal record ever feel comfortable meeting new potential partners who will almost surely run a background check... What? People do this?
Of course people do. I'm sure there are apps that aggregate that type of at a for you in one easy search. Not just for dating, but for employment, renting and other things as well. To the OP though - if you have a serious criminal record you're going to have to disclose that up front. That's the way it is these days, and as the majority of people don't have a criminal record at all, it's not going to change. You can…
> You can hardly blame them, as past behaviour is an excellent guide to future behaviour.
Oh really. What a very shallow view of things.
Re: The future of loneliness
#16Earlier quoted context omitted.
Of course people do. I'm sure there are apps that aggregate that type of at a for you in one easy search. Not just for dating, but for employment, renting and other things as well. To the OP though - if you have a serious criminal record you're going to have to disclose that up front. That's the way it is these days, and as the majority of people don't have a criminal record at all, it's not going to change. You can…
> You can hardly blame them, as past behaviour is an excellent guide to future behaviour. Oh really. What a very shallow view of things.
In what sense? Do you believe past behavior is not causally linked with present behavior?
Re: The future of loneliness
#17Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You can hardly blame them, as past behaviour is an excellent guide to future behaviour. Oh really. What a very shallow view of things.
In what sense? Do you believe past behavior is not causally linked with present behavior?
He better not. His comment history pretty much guarantees he's worthless.
Re: The future of loneliness
#18Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You can hardly blame them, as past behaviour is an excellent guide to future behaviour. Oh really. What a very shallow view of things.
In what sense? Do you believe past behavior is not causally linked with present behavior?
I believe everyone can make mistakes and deserves a second chance. It's not because you've done something bad in the past that you are forever lost.
Re: The future of loneliness
#19Earlier quoted context omitted.
In what sense? Do you believe past behavior is not causally linked with present behavior?
I believe everyone can make mistakes and deserves a second chance. It's not because you've done something bad in the past that you are forever lost.
I think that's a very idealistic thing to believe. But I'll bet you wouldn't wager your retirement savings on a financial planner previously convicted of embezzlement, your children on a nanny with sex conviction, or your life under the scalpel of a doctor who had done time for criminal negligence.
And if you would, good on ya. You can be the one to give everyone second chances.
Re: The future of loneliness
#20Earlier quoted context omitted.
I believe everyone can make mistakes and deserves a second chance. It's not because you've done something bad in the past that you are forever lost.
I think that's a very idealistic thing to believe. But I'll bet you wouldn't wager your retirement savings on a financial planner previously convicted of embezzlement, your children on a nanny with sex conviction, or your life under the scalpel of a doctor who had done time for criminal negligence. And if you would, good on ya. You can be the one to give everyone second chances.
Thank you. I will. Even to you.