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Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

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151–160 of 191 posts

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#151
Put yourself in the other developers shoes:

Imagine you are under a lot of pressure to deliver and have been behind schedule for months. You are close to breaking.

Then management hires a new developer to fix the issue. Management says they are amazing. Only it turns out the new developer is a total newbie. To top it off the new developer is cocky, can't handle feedback, and doesn't really listen.

In that kind of environment a lot of developers will go "not my problem" and do the bare minimum to help the new team member. It is not right and it is a sign of a toxic work environment but it doesn't mean the other devs are assholes.

My advice: let a couple of the other devs know you are working really hard outside of work in order to get up to speed.

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#152
Your efforts in burning the midnight oil are laudable, but becoming a good developer takes time and experience; there is only so much you can do to speed up the process. And you also need some work-life balance, especially at your age.

Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence. You need enough humility to ask questions when you don't know how to do something. But you also need a bit of attitude to carry you past the inevitable obstacles and push development projects to completion.

It sounds like you've fallen in with a bunch of idiots. You don't have to be apologetic about being a newbie; we've all been there. Get out and find another job. Good luck.

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#153
1. Eat that humble pie, confess that you don't know as much as you thought, get past it. To maintain your dignity, focus on the work, not the politics.

2. Unfortunately quite common.

3. No. Try not to dwell on it. Pity them quietly, stay focused on the work, don't lose yourself in their negativity. Treat others as you'd have them treat you (even though they don't yet), and lead by example.

If any consolation, you're going through what I call "celebrity training." Since moving to LA, I've noticed particularly successful/famous people can be particularly difficult, demanding, and even insulting.

When you meet their assistants and see them graciously cope with their superiors being completely insulting, demeaning, abusive, awful human beings, it suddenly becomes clear: That is why you want to get to know the assistants.

It's like they know how to speak a foreign language reserved for a special few- some of the most powerful, intelligent, successful people in the world. They all speak verbal abuse.

Most people when they hear verbal abuse freeze in shock, do as instructed, feel embarrassed, explode in retaliation, or run. But if you're fluent in verbal abuse, you learn how to ignore it, see past it, even reform it, but most importantly, they learn how to work around it.

Also, keep in mind that a lot of your fellow bad-asses may have mild autism/aspbergers, which makes it hard for them to tell when they're offending you. If you get up in their face about their shitty behaviour, you might be surprised by their surprise. They may not even be able to detect how much they're upsetting you.

If you haven't already given them feedback, then you should. A simple "Hey, it kinda stresses me out. Maybe less of that?" will do. Remember to do it immediately after an infraction. People are like dogs, and the sooner you interrupt and correct and throw it away, the more likely it'll stick. Also like dogs, people need gentle reminders, as they'll keep slipping up for a while until it sticks.

Keep it light and funny, not dramatic. Try a quick, soft-spoken "rawr?" with about the delivery and tone you'd use to say "lip?" while pointing out they have a suggestive dollop of sour cream on their upper lip at a house party, and you just want to bring attention to it very subtly for their benefit.

Also remember that an important part of training your dogs is to reward, not just punish. While looking for infractions, you also want to look for spontaneous moments of good behaviour and thank them for it immediately, even with only a smile and a nod.

Best of luck!

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#154

My rule of thumb is that I always try to be the dumbest person in the room. If I'm the smartest person in the room, I'm not learning. I want to surround myself with people that know more than I do about things I know little about. My advice: 1) Shut up and listen 2) Ask them respectfully and professionally for advice when you need it 3) Shut up and listen some more If you're an engineer, I also recommend the followin…

>> If I'm the smartest person in the room, I'm not learning.

Absolutely.

This is something that I cannot stress enough to junior developers that I work with.

This also applies to social and inter-personal skills as well as technical - just as you aim to continually improve your domain knowledge, there are always opportunities to identify and improve complementary skills.

If OP can determine strategies, survive and thrive in the environment described, this will be invaluable for progressing in a more accommodating workplace.

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#158
post #17

1. Act they way your Grandpa would have: with deference to their knowledge and a healthy dose of confidence (you did get hired by these people). There's a pecking order, and that's OK, but don't let the socially deficient define how you feel about yourself. 2. Sadly it's been the norm at both my jobs. It gets better after a while. 3. Yes and No. I've met some unbelievably smart people who are amazing teachers. "Rock…

For what it's worth I'm comfortable with the idea that you may want to switch jobs; there are an awful lot of fantastic software jobs out there.

If you do decide to switch I'd make sure you're willing to stick it out a few years wherever you wind up. There's very little stigma (if any) to changing software jobs frequently, but more than one ultra-short-tenure job can look suspicious on a resume.

Assuming, however, that you want to stick it out at this "desirable" job, the above are my answers to your questions. Starting a new job is always hard. If you stick it out you'll learn a lot. If you don't no one will judge you for it.

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#159
I would question your assumption that you are the dumbest person in the room. Your analysis points in quite the opposite direction. The rather toxic atmosphere you are describing, driven by egos with bitter attitudes indicates these people do not understand the meaning of the word team. And creating stressful atmosphere is usually counter productive to creative developments and innovation.

As a freelancer I worked in very many places. I have seen what you describe. I have also seen the opposite. Really smart people with educational attitudes helping juniors to fit in, learn and contribute to the team work.

My advice is focus on learning as you already do and find a more human/friendly environment to work in ASAP. Prolonging situation like this can take a serious toll on your life. And how long you want to work for/with assholes...?

Re: Ask HN: I am the dumbest person in the room. What should I do?

#160
Bro, life is too short to let other people dictate your life.

They might be smarter than you, yet here they are in the same room as you. Second there is no shame in not knowing, so as long your willingness to improve is there. In the rare case, in the parking lot, intelligence (or there lack of) can always be augmented with fist. YMMV.

You need a double dosage of kanye. Hope you get your swagger back.

Good luck.

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