I'm a forty-something lady who is almost but not quite on the edge of replacing her 2013 Air with this.
My current machine has two USB ports, power, Mini Displayport, audio, and an SD card. I do not think I have ever plugged an SD card into this computer. I think I may have plugged one into one of my computers once. I was happy to ditch a DVD drive a few years ago when I bought my first Air; I think I used one of those maybe twice in five years. I've never felt the lack of Ethernet or Firewire.
I used to say that I'd never want a laptop smaller than a 15", but the higher DPI of the Airs changed my tune. I love my 13" now. Would a Retina 12" screen work for me? I dunno. It might, it might not.
When I'm on the road, the most things I've ever had to plug in to my computer are three: my Wacom tablet, a power brick, and a video adapter. That last only happens when I'm giving a presentation at a con; most of the time I just go out to a cafe with the drawing tablet and no other accessories.
And yes, there are adaptors to plug video/power/USB into that single USB-C connector at the same time.
The Air makes you angry, and this is an expression of the same ideas that drove the Air: small, light, and minimalist. It's no surprise you dislike this one too.