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My Girlfriend Dissociated and Forgot Who I Was

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Re: My Girlfriend Dissociated and Forgot Who I Was

#201

Post by normloman »

hueving wrote: post #197
normloman wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get that, but you gotta think about how it comes across. A bunch of computer nerds treating a mental disorder like a math problem. It's seen as insensitive to dive into the problem like that, without a little acknowledgement of the human side of the equation. That's how it comes across to an outsider reading this. But don't get me wrong, empathy won't always lead to better treatment. Science will. And we should ask…

Empathy won't lead to a discovery, period. This isn't a forum to discuss our feelings about articles like this. The entire point of the 'hacker' culture is about fixing and changing things through action.

1. This is a problem that hacker culture doesn't have the resources to solve. 2. I'm not saying you need to have empathy. I'm saying if your first reaction to mental illness is to turn it into an engineering question, don't be surprised if you come off as insensitive to outsiders.

Re: My Girlfriend Dissociated and Forgot Who I Was

#202

Post by soylentcola »

normloman wrote: post #201
hueving wrote: post #197

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Empathy won't lead to a discovery, period. This isn't a forum to discuss our feelings about articles like this. The entire point of the 'hacker' culture is about fixing and changing things through action.

1. This is a problem that hacker culture doesn't have the resources to solve. 2. I'm not saying you need to have empathy. I'm saying if your first reaction to mental illness is to turn it into an engineering question, don't be surprised if you come off as insensitive to outsiders.

Perhaps that's why that avenue of discussion was brought up here (and not at a meeting of DID sufferers or with a loved one currently in a dissociative state).

I think that while empathy and support are incredibly important with regard to topics like this, it can also be productive to consider new outlooks or avenues of discussion that may contribute to the greater understanding of the problem.

I think a "hacker" centric discussion forum is an appropriate place to consider possibly novel ways of approaching these sorts of issues precisely because it exists as a place to address problems analytically.

I wouldn't find it appropriate or in good taste to start such a discussion in a DID support group or with a family member who suffered from that disorder but that's the whole point of more "academic" discussion forums. They're a place to talk about things that might be seen as gross or improper in polite conversation but that nevertheless may be useful in tackling the underlying issue.

Re: My Girlfriend Dissociated and Forgot Who I Was

#203

Post by Balgair »

sebkomianos wrote: post #194
Balgair wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please pick up a neuroscience textbook such as this one : http://www.amazon.com/Principles-Neural-Science-Edition-Kand... (here is the camel camel camel page for price comparison: http://camelcamelcamel.com/Principles-Neural-Science-Edition... ) Much of what you say is correct on the first pass, and is better than that of the typical citizen, however, some important details are missing. It seems like you are actually…

"You are very much in control of your own mind, how else would you define what a mind is?" Immediately after I read this I tried to think about it. After only a few seconds I closed my eyes in the fashion we close our eyes when thinking about a concept "hurts" (I am very tired, been on the front of the laptop screen pretty much the whole day). Which led me to consider "tiredness": I can define what it is but I can de…

The way to figure out that you are your mind and are in control of it is to look at people who cannot do so. Are feelings a part of your mind? Are intrusive thoughts your fault or your brains? When you do something that you do not want to, who is doing that? Is that you?

The mind body problem is not really a problem, we are our bodies and minds at the same time. Any patient with an aphasia or neural defect will tell you they just cannot think in a way that they used to. Stoke victims are the same, or people that grew up mute and deaf and now use sign language. The mind is so very complicated, quite the understatement.

In the end, you are your mind, there can be not other definition, you are the person in it, who it is. Therefore, you are in control, or you lack the control to use it, you are the driver of the car and the car itself.

Re: My Girlfriend Dissociated and Forgot Who I Was

#204

Post by geldedus »

outworlder wrote: post #39
kazinator wrote: post #36

I would just move on. A flaky person like this is poor relationship material, especially if you see children in your future. "Where am I? What are these kids doing here and why are they calling me Mom?" Like, no thanks!

That is an horrible thing to say. She is not 'flaky' as a spoiled socialite would be, she has a mental disease. One that only seems to crop up from time to time. 'Poor relationship material'? She is still a human being in need of support. I'd say you're poor relationship material.

Just imagine this woman raising your kids...

Re: My Girlfriend Dissociated and Forgot Who I Was

#205

Post by geldedus »

skimmas wrote: post #75
outworlder wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is an horrible thing to say. She is not 'flaky' as a spoiled socialite would be, she has a mental disease. One that only seems to crop up from time to time. 'Poor relationship material'? She is still a human being in need of support. I'd say you're poor relationship material.

can't reply to OP. I'm amazed by the lack of humanity in some of the comments that came up. I can understand if someone is too weak to handle it or the disease is too disturbing that it makes a relationship impossible, but this looks like people talking about other persons as products. I wonder what will the OP do when in a relationship he ever has an accident or something that turns him into poor relationship materi…

Relationship material? Imagine her raising your kids, alone at home with them. Having an uneasy feeling already?
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