Ask HN: Why keep living?

a few points:

1) You don't know (for absolutely certain) that being dead will be better. Since it is an irreversible step the risk/payoff is terrible.

2) Death comes for us all eventually, why the hurry? Why go to any effort to accelerate what is unavoidable. See point 1.

3) There are millions of tiny spots of wonder and brightness all around you but you have to work a bit to see them. The tiny rainbow in a dewdrop is an entire world of magic and knowledge but can still be easy to overlook.

4) I totally know where you are coming from, it would be so easy to stop swimming and just go under. But that is not the nature of life. Life is struggle & pain, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. Embrace the pain.

5) It has helped me a lot to brainwash my self with a bunch of positive inputs. A Phineas and Ferb marathon really helped me a few weeks ago when I was recovering from a physical illness & had slipped into depression in the wake of a tooth infection. Set myself up a huge collection of upbeat songs with great lyrics on Spotify.

To quote Candace: "Time is what you make of it, so take a chance. Life is full of music, so you oughta dance."

Per my ethnic background, I will answer your question with a question:

Why keep going around the cycle of reincarnation?

Why not just get on the rooftops and shout about things that people don't want to hear about, things that make them angry, and cause them to do the things that give them new energy to live?

I'd be interested in this, too. It is ridiculous the number of times I sat down with the feeling that there is nothing new to write, only to get up an hour or so later with my hand paining from having written / drawn continuously for pages and pages!

In fact, I am worried that OP, seemingly an accomplished hacker, will not heed my advice and try just typing or maybe OneNote. OP, I spent $2000 on a tablet PC with OneNote + pen to realize that it simply isn't even in the same league as good old writing.

manmukh, one reason this seems to the case is that writing is a slow-bandwidth activity, and forces the mind into what I call "walking mode", i.e., it is well-known that walking fosters creativity by putting one in this special floating / limbo state of mind where new thoughts and new connections arise naturally. Writing seems to provoke the same state of mind by being slow! It is as if the mind goes to take a walk while the hand finishes it's duty of serializing the last bunch of thoughts...:-)

I didn't offer this as shock and awe. it came from the realization I had, living alone, incredibly poor, and feeling only a bleak future was possible, while standing outside a building tall enough to do the job, whose roof I could easily access. I had done a test-run months before. I realized I could end my life and get off the track that just seemed to produce misery and dissatisfaction for me and those around me. And then I realized I could just stop. I could use my life only for me, for what I valued, how I wanted to live. I could get off life's treadmill. I could do it by killing myself, or I could just step off and live whatever crazy idiot foolish life I wanted. I can always go back to that building and jump. And I've thought about doing it more than a few times over the years. But the reality is I can quit life and start over, or build a life the way I think it should be. my life doesn't have to work, it doesn't have to conform to anyone else's standards or conditions.

I'm not an idiot though. We live in a world where people react and do things. Life is kind of like Groundhog Day. We can weave through it in all sorts of ways. And when I'm feeling persistently useless and worthless I start to think about how to end that. and then I think, oh yeah. I can change how I live, even radically. that useless worthless feeling is a clue telling me to change how I'm living. (it's also a clue to go to the tanning salon). There is no "right way" to live a life. There is just living life. And if life sucks, we are free to change things. And I have found dreaming big, swinging for the fences, trying the impossible, dying (or living) for a crazy idea is a better alternative than a short leap.

So before making that leap I asked myself what would I rather do? And I didn't go to school that day. I did go to my job at KFC before returning to my roach infested apartment. My grandpa gave good advice: "Always run towards things." But sometimes you have to move away from something to get the freedom to change direction. Suicide just doesn't let you get to that change direction part.

I aslo believe that learning to meditate in the library while sluffing class in HS helped me to gain a little distance between my consciousness and my problems. Practicing meditation is particularly hard when depressed but it does seem to open a space of freedom between the emotions of depression and oneself. Which is why I recommended it to the OP.

there must be free services online for people in your situation. maybe even by skype or phone. Google?

continue to look for a purpose. if nothing else, make looking for a purpose your purpose.

idea...once you learn to overcome depressed/depressed feelings, you could share your tricks with others in a similar situation. Helping others escape from similar feelings is surely a valuable and noble purpose.

exercise! Outdoors if possible.

stay sober

volunteer at an animal shelter. or an animal preserve in a third-world country!

find a nice place to live. Something with at least of basic view of something green. Some place with a walkable neighborhood. Can't afford one in the US? Go to Urugauy and find one there.

if you have interet connection, learn new skills. then find better, higher-paying work, then move to a place you love.

go easy on yourself. we all make mistakes and go through rough patches. it's part of the human experience. make sure you cut yourself some slack for your mistakes.

volunteer at a place that actually NEEDS help. not doing your friend's errands. feed some sick people. help build a shelter for someone who's lost everything in a natural disaster.

do something of real value to a community in need: help exploited women/children. protect endangered wildlife.

go on a hike/camp in nature. BIG nature if possible.

enjoy good sex. it's one of life's greatest gifts.

if you use porn, stick to positive pornography and stick to a lower usage limit. excessive porn usage, especially of negative porn, can make one feel worse.

start small with successes: finish a word search. finish a lego set. build plastic models. learn to cook amazing deserts and then invite some people over to enjoy them with you. start small and gradually build up to more challenging achievements.

think outside the box: if you're already at the bottom professionally and working so much and you can't even afford a doctor, there's little risk in making a BIG move to another location (country?) or career.

what are you good at? which people NEED help with those skills? provide it. it will make you feel good.

practice appreciating all the little things. the flowers. the kids' laughter. the rain. music.

adopt a positive, gratitude encouraging mantra. one I use is ..."appreciate this, appreciate that, appreciate it all"

develop a marketable skill that you can do remotely. sure, work in an office if it's feasable, but also work in shared spaces, and also work from really nice locations every once in a while.

power is relative. move to a place where your current skillset is seen as powerful and desirable. being able to dig a well and install a pump might be really highly appreciated in certain parts of the world.

see this mood as something tht's temporary, like the weather. many great people in history have been very down and out before they made there mark on the world. you'll only know what you're fully capable of achieving in your life if you stick around and keep giving it your best.

be good to yourself, and then FELL GOOD ABOUT the fact that your a person that is good to yourself (see what I did there?)

be good to others, and then FELL GOOD ABOUT the fact that your a person that is good to others

be honest and try hard, and then FELL GOOD ABOUT the fact that your a person that is honest and tries hard

do those above three things and you'll be emotionally richer than most.

lastly... are there people out there that love you? Family? Friends? Those people will be emotionally devasted if you leave this planet prematuely. I guarantee it. So if nothing else, for THEIR SAKE, do everything you possibly can to live a long and content life. That means TRY EVERY LAST BIT OF ADVICE for finding meaning and contentment before you ever choose to throw in the towel.