31–40 of 174 posts
Did she really use the word 'sausagefest'? Ouch. That noise was credibility slamming the door on the way out.
Most of these incidents just sound like guys who were genuinely trying to be nice or funny, but because anything can be seen through the lens of sexism, this woman took the opportunity to consider herself oppressed.
Hopefully you can understand that intent isn't everything? Being considerate of others isn't just saying "pshht i didn't mean anything by it!" it's actually thinking about how other people might react in the circumstances they've been put in. You can call sexism a lens, but it might also help to understand the experiences others have lived (from their POV, not yours) to see why it's a lens that others are brought to…
Did she really use the word 'sausagefest'? Ouch. That noise was credibility slamming the door on the way out.
Most of these incidents just sound like guys who were genuinely trying to be nice or funny, but because anything can be seen through the lens of sexism, this woman took the opportunity to consider herself oppressed.
Hopefully you can understand that intent isn't everything? Being considerate of others isn't just saying "pshht i didn't mean anything by it!" it's actually thinking about how other people might react in the circumstances they've been put in. You can call sexism a lens, but it might also help to understand the experiences others have lived (from their POV, not yours) to see why it's a lens that others are brought to…
Yup, sounds like standard fare. I would have been impressed if she'd documented and reported this shitty behaviour. Then again Confrontation is difficult, no matter the context.
> Oh… well then I should have applied for that internship.
A simple response like "what do you mean?" would be completely appropriate. Given the context of this example, I have a difficult time accepting the male was implying anything like what the author felt was directed at her. Rather I think it's a more reasonable assumption he came to the conclusion that if so many people from his school got Facebook internships, then he should have applied as well. But, we'll never know unless people do ask for a deeper explanation instead of just assuming malice.
Well she writes like a junior because she is. But the main points she makes - subtle sexism regarding capability in the face of equivalent effort - are certainly observable and do ring true. When I see articles like this (and the issue of sexism in computing does pop up quite often) I usually agree. It is there. But what can be done? I myself have been a disgusting example of a male engineer at times. And as much as…
1. Acknowledge there is a real problem.
2. Acknowledge you are part of the problem.
Now, on to steps 3-n!
3. Don't be discouraged, accept that there are things you can do to help! This is good, you're about to become a more valuable member of society.
4. Accept that you need to put in some effort. Not much, don't worry. Most of it is shutting up.
5. Read what women write about this problem. They're all experts because they've been studying it literally their entire lives.
6. Learn (from step 5 and some self-reflection) how to recognize in real time when you're being a jerk. Then stop.
Now it gets a little harder. But remember, not nearly as hard as being a woman in tech, so buck up, kid!
7. Learn (from step 5) how to recognize in real time when other people are being jerks, and good techniques for how to advocate on behalf of women. This takes practice and courage, keep at it.
8. You'll be tempted to brag about how helpful you are to women (hi @wadhwa). Resist this temptation. Whenever you feel yourself about to tell someone how great and helpful you are, instead, show them something an actual woman has said about their problems, and try to point them in the right direction.
Note that you can replace "woman/women" in the above with any minority/disenfranchised/disadvantaged group you want to help, and the same formula pretty much works verbatim.
Well she writes like a junior because she is. But the main points she makes - subtle sexism regarding capability in the face of equivalent effort - are certainly observable and do ring true. When I see articles like this (and the issue of sexism in computing does pop up quite often) I usually agree. It is there. But what can be done? I myself have been a disgusting example of a male engineer at times. And as much as…
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One option is to stay heads down and surf ycombinator during a meeting. That way I'll not look at anyone inappropriately. That is not great for me though.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
What is the message?
The message is that sexism and harrasment are still pervasive in tech. Not an original statement, but still needs to be said, over and over again, until things change.
First of all, calling a group of guys a sausage fest is reverse sexism. If I called a classroom full of girls a barbie play-date, or a tea party, or a "fashion" class - regardless of the real reason for their gathering, people would be outraged - and rightfully so. None of those things are true and it's disrespectful to say something like that. Second, the guy who said "well I should have applied for that" might have…
I generally agree with what you're saying, but what's the point of having a category called "reverse sexism"? Why not just stick with "sexism" and "not sexism"?