"Can only view diffs on a single page"
You don't need to use GitHub to view diffs.
"To create a patch one must fork the repository publicly (weird and unnecessary)."
I don't think it's weird.
"Accepting a patch creates a "merge commit" (ugly repo history)."
You don't need to have a merge commit, although I don't think that creates an ugly repo history.
"In general, pull request culture is not about code review."
I have no idea what this means.