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What Startups Are Really Like

paulgraham.com

41–50 of 128 posts

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#41
Paul says asking what is surprising is equivalent to asking what he got wrong, but it may be that some things are impossible to communicate in essay format. Things like "persistence is key" are accurate textual representations of the underlying lesson, but the important part of that lesson is the unassailable gut knowledge of its truth, which is hard to get from an essay.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#42
post #7

18. You Get No Respect There was one surprise founders mentioned that I'd forgotten about: that outside the startup world, startup founders get no respect. In social settings, I found that I got a lot more respect when I said, "I worked on Microsoft Office" instead of "I work at a small startup you've never heard of called x." Partly this is because the rest of the world just doesn't get startups, and partly it's yet…

I'll respond to this from both sides, both as "the girl" and as "the person who gets no respect working for a startup."

I am the opposite of your last sentence. A guy I like _has_ to have a dream/extreme passion. In fact, I prefer a-dream-and-broke, to no-dream-and-sweet-day-job. Either way I just like people who are focused and excited about stuff. That comes way before their job. (you hear that dudes in bands who sling coffee coz it lets you tour? i keed, i keed...)

On the other side of the equation, when i talk about my own entrepreneurial stuff, reaction is all over the place.

I think the main thing is that most people, guys and girls, have "a type" (i don't just mean looks, i mean style, subculture, humor, etc) And when when you approach people "cold," without knowing them through some other context (where you volunteer/go to school/hang out and drink coffee/see shows at), talking about your job is kind of this thing you're hoping will get them to change their type, or recontextualize you or something. But the thing is, before we utter the first words about our jobs, the chances that we'd click with that person are mostly determined by other stuff. So while it's very true that talking about our startups doesn't impress most people, it's really the low success rate of the "cold call" to blame :D

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#43
post #39

I sometimes wonder if the Valley culture doesn't socially construct some of the startup pathologies. For example, startups taking over your life: why does this happen? Is this because startups take over your life and nothing can be done about this? I am skeptical of this: I run a small business, the time demands are rather modest, and I live a life outside of work. I'm surely not uniquely in a position to do this. No…

Surely it is until you prove it succeeds it's quite likely it will fail - if you have not launched or have launced but have no users or are not profitable it's seems likely you will fail without a lot more work.

I suspect from your description that your business is already successful and is a low risk of failure.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#44
post #39

I sometimes wonder if the Valley culture doesn't socially construct some of the startup pathologies. For example, startups taking over your life: why does this happen? Is this because startups take over your life and nothing can be done about this? I am skeptical of this: I run a small business, the time demands are rather modest, and I live a life outside of work. I'm surely not uniquely in a position to do this. No…

I've sold shareware for 3 years, similar to what you and many other lone developers I know personally and online are doing (seems like mac, iPhone, and casual games.). The thing is, when a group of developers decide to band together to try to develop something bigger, they all have to hurry to keep the momentum going, as there are more people who might quit due to running out of money, going to grad school, getting married, etc. At the same time, the vision of the company should be bigger than that of a lone shareware author, such that it more than compensates for going-for-it-alone.

Many are happy to have a lifestyle business in addition to their full-time job, and feeling respected by posting on Joel on Software and these discussions. Others have opportunities, either because they are young and have college friends, or are older with money saved up and a list of industry contacts, to jump in on a new idea together. This dilutes ownership but allows one to iterate faster, and avoid being the only one outside of their customers who actually know and care about their product.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#45
Running a startup is not like having a job or being a student, because it never stops.

I was fraternity president for a while. I distinctly remember being surprised by this "feature" of my job. Especially when I am awoken at 3AM with news that a (fully sober) member had driven his truck into the lake across the street.

This job was the best experience I had prior to running a startup, and I'd never do it again.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#46
post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

off topic, but I'd really like to see block quotes in hacker news comments.

What do you mean by "block quotes"? You can already use "Code Mode" to quote exactly, get things in a different font, and formatted exactly as you wish. It's a fixed width font, though.

Presumably
?

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#47

The line about how "it's like we're married, but we're not fucking" makes me curious about the correlations between a founder's relationship with co-founders and their relationship with romantic partners. You might get some good insight by observing a potential co-founder's behavior toward their romantic partner, or toward potential romantic partners if they're single.

I'm going to get blasted for this, but here goes anyway.

I'm willing to bet that the majority of founders are single males who do not understand what marriage is all about. I have not had the experience of being part of a start-up, but I do have 6 years of marriage under my belt. I cannot imagine any circumstance where being someone's co-fonder is in any way like being married to them.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#48

The line about how "it's like we're married, but we're not fucking" makes me curious about the correlations between a founder's relationship with co-founders and their relationship with romantic partners. You might get some good insight by observing a potential co-founder's behavior toward their romantic partner, or toward potential romantic partners if they're single.

I'm going to get blasted for this, but here goes anyway. I'm willing to bet that the majority of founders are single males who do not understand what marriage is all about. I have not had the experience of being part of a start-up, but I do have 6 years of marriage under my belt. I cannot imagine any circumstance where being someone's co-fonder is in any way like being married to them.

However, the wannabe founders reading it are also probably single males who don't understand marriage. We do, however, probably all share a very similar caricature of marriage - and thus the analogy is useful in communicating the bizarre mix of love, hate, co-dependence, shared depression and elation, occasional jealousy and careful maintenance that characterizes the relationship between two guys in a foxhole with laptops.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#49

The line about how "it's like we're married, but we're not fucking" makes me curious about the correlations between a founder's relationship with co-founders and their relationship with romantic partners. You might get some good insight by observing a potential co-founder's behavior toward their romantic partner, or toward potential romantic partners if they're single.

I'm going to get blasted for this, but here goes anyway. I'm willing to bet that the majority of founders are single males who do not understand what marriage is all about. I have not had the experience of being part of a start-up, but I do have 6 years of marriage under my belt. I cannot imagine any circumstance where being someone's co-fonder is in any way like being married to them.

Well, I've been married for five years and I'm a co-founder. I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but for us there are a lot of similarities. I think you can easily s/co-founder/wife/g on the list below.

- My co-founder very intimate knowledge about me. My credit score. My favorite things. My political positions.

- My co-founder knows me well enough to manipulate me, if he wanted to.

- My co-founder is really aware of what a rotten person I can be.

- I can talk absolutely candidly with my co-founder. About anything. Even medical stuff.

- My co-founder almost certainly knows exactly what I'm doing right now, even though he's 1000 miles away from me.

Re: What Startups Are Really Like

#50

The line about how "it's like we're married, but we're not fucking" makes me curious about the correlations between a founder's relationship with co-founders and their relationship with romantic partners. You might get some good insight by observing a potential co-founder's behavior toward their romantic partner, or toward potential romantic partners if they're single.

I'm going to get blasted for this, but here goes anyway. I'm willing to bet that the majority of founders are single males who do not understand what marriage is all about. I have not had the experience of being part of a start-up, but I do have 6 years of marriage under my belt. I cannot imagine any circumstance where being someone's co-fonder is in any way like being married to them.

I won't blast you, but I will disagree. Relationship problems seem to span across relationship classes, and tend to involve breakdowns in trust and communication.

It seems like trust and communication are fundamental to both romantic and cofounder relationships. Maybe you can't judge a founder after watching them try to drunkenly pick women up at a bar, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't a correlation between someone's ability to maintain successful relationships in both categories.

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