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I also feel resistance when I ask someone to go out on outings, trip or to bar/club.
Without saying it goes that I still don't have GF or wife. I am 29 and getting near 30 is a bit scary.
What is wrong with me, seriously ?
...
Most social groupings are formed out of blood or forced closeness - small towns, religious groups, schools, the workplace, housemates, etc. These are people you spend a large percentage of your time with, and they tend to be non-transient factors in your life - i.e. continued social interaction with them is likely over a non-trivial timespan. You can count on these people being around in the future, so the investment of effort in cultivating relationships with them has a high expected payoff.
Compare this with the modern, post-collegiate experience for most 20-somethings. Seeking gainful employment often means leaving behind the familiar contexts one was born and raised in, abandoning familiar social nets, to move to more economically dynamic areas, with larger and more diverse populations. Turnover in employers and fellow employees is vastly higher than it was a generation ago. Tied with this, long-term home ownership is less of a realistic proposition, so the community of locality that comes with living with and getting to know one's neighbors is diminished. Other people are more transient and disposable in this world, and the general uncertainty makes it more difficult to focus the effort on building relationships, particularly when you are trying so hard just to get by, day to day, week to week.
I don't really have a solution, but this seems to me to be the problem.
So, what you need is self-sufficiency. Once you get more comfortable being in your own company and doing stuff on your own then people will get more interested in you. Pick up some intellectual interest or activity outside of your work and preferably not related to it. Consider getting a dog - seriously It's surprisingly emotionally rewarding plus you get automatic entry to this whole secret society of dog owners and an automatic icebreaker/topic of positive small talk. I wasn't into dogs at all until I rescued one, but it turned out to be a big positive and well worth the required lifestyle adjustments. Also, women will size a guy up by how he relates to his dog. If your dog is chill and happy, then people will come over to tell you how cute it is, and this will reflect onto you.
Insecure men also struggle with their manliness. This is usually a taboo topic, but you need to address it and be sincere about it: do you feel emasculated? "Without saying it goes that I still don't have GF or wife. I am 29 and getting near 30 is a bit scary." There are more people than you realize in your same situation; worse, there are people who married early and are now stuck in a loveless, bleak marriage. one of my mentors – I respect him so much! – found the love of his life in his late 40s, after an awful, awful marriage.
You're a free, young man in his quest for manhood and respect. Just like everyone else. :)
Lastly, let me link you to a post where I addressed my insecurities: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8745651
If you need an e-mail pal, reply to this post and I'll give you my contact information. :)
1. Maybe nothing is wrong with you and the people that aren't reciprocating aren't the right people for you. In this case, consider ways to find new people, activities, etc., or try to be more comfortable with the fact that you're special and it may take some time to find the right people (but do as much as you can to increase your odds such as hobbies you love, etc.).
2. Maybe something is wrong with you in the sense that your brain is creating emotional pain in the same way that your body alerts you to physical pain. In this case, first be happy that your brain is trying to help you (even if the emotional pain is... well, painful). Next, consider exploring your emotional pains through philosophy, psychotherapy, positive psychology, exploring your childhood and close relationships, etc.
Each of these hypotheses branches out to many other hypotheses, most of which can be "tested." If one of them isn't yielding a good theory, move on to the next, and you may ultimately find something. Keep trying!
i.e. http://www.nlp-secrets.com/nlp-seduction/how-to-talk-to-girl...
If you are throwing a party and invite 100 guests, only 10 will show up. 9 out of 10 will flake out. This is normal and that's how people work.
People don't initiate conversations. It's very rare to meet somebody who will initiate conversation, and keep it going. If you want to have good time, that's on you (to keep finding topics and jumping from theme to theme, have a lively back-and-forth going). It's a skill you can learn and is incredibly easy when you get in the groove.
People don't jump on it, when you invite them to something. For 10 attempts to do something, only 1 will succeed. The key is to keep going and simply have 100s of ideas and keep inviting people. If you are not inviting, nobody is and NOTHING ever will happen. People just keep waiting around, standing around and are incredibly passive in general.
And it's not like everybody is going to parties and you alone are not invited. Nope. It's a desert. In fact, if you yourself don't think of some activity, nothing is happening ever. And most people seem OK with this kind of quiet existence.
The only thing wrong with you is that you have higher expectations (and desires) than the baseline. The solution is - go and make what you want happen. The way to do it: keep having ideas and inviting people. 9 times out of 10 they will decline. That's completely OK, just keep having ideas. 9 out of 10 times when you actually go out and do something, it will not be very exciting. That's the reality and it's completely fine. But then during 1 out of 10 times magic happens.