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“I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

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61–70 of 265 posts

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#61

People used to look at me weird when I explained how I was paranoid that someone was routing all of my conversations between multiple people, in an effort to cluster intelligence and intellectual contributions without any participant knowing what they were contributing to. Take that, therapy. Yes, the paranoia was somewhat imaginative, but it was an exaggeration of something that actually can be mechanized. The peopl…

Interesting. I've always been interested in building such a system.

Unfortunately, it was already built. And what came out of it was Anonymous.

Ever hear of 4Chan?

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#62
post #59

Not surprised that it works, it looks like something fun to do on both sides. In fact, i believe people who love romance would sign up for a free service like this on both ends. (Since their niche is people who dont want to have the actual relationships, they could easily pair up their users with each other as pure conversation partners). The sad thing is the reason that this app exists. Has it become so taboo to be…

Has it become so taboo to be single that you have to pay to hide it?

Apparently yes, sadly.

Even so, I can't imagine this app could possible be worth the time (let alone the cost). Especially when simply lying to people (who aren't close friends anyway), as needed -- or in the case of a good chunk of my direct family, explicitly firewalling ("Look, over the years I've been having various relationships with various people. If any of them become important enough for you to know about, I'll let you know, eventually") to be easy enough, and to work perfectly fine for all concerned.

The bottom line is that intimacy is a gift, and at no point are you obligated to provide it to anyone you don't really consider to be that important in your life -- or in situations that make you uncomfortable.

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#63
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's sad there are people for which having an invisible boyfriend/girlfriend is an appealing idea (which is the entire premise of the service), regardless if it's the case with the writer of the article. "On its Web site, Invisible Boyfriend calls itself “believable social proof”: When your mom won’t stop asking you when you’re going to settle down, or your weird male acquaintance keeps hitting on you, you can just w…

It's also sad that people are saddened by others not like them. The world would be a lot nicer if we accepted, instead of being saddened.

I may be projecting, but I don't interpret Kurtz as saying it's sad that people want an invisible boyfriend. More that it's sad that people feel pressured to have some sort of boyfriend, and get an invisible one to relieve that.

If someone genuinely thinks "actually, an invisible boyfriend would be better than a real one for me", then great, more power to them. But if someone's getting an invisible boyfriend because they can't get a real one, or because their parents are pressuring them, or because they don't want to come out as a lesbian. It's good that invisible boyfriends exist for these people¹, but it's sad that they need to exist.

¹This is debatable in the long run and the big picture. But here and now, it removes a little pain from the world.

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#64
post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder how OK it is in their relationship to say things like that. That's obviously a joke, but it still comes quite bitter when such phrases are then revealed to general public.

No it doesn't, it comes across as a light hearted joke. Context is important as is apparently a thicker skin.

As the aphorism goes 'many a true word was said in jest' [must be from Shakespeare, surely?].

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#65
post #28

With some effort, you could get a visible boyfriend for 0$. But yeah, it's hard to overcome laziness.

For some people that would be a lot of effort, since the only value they can bring into relationships is their genitalia.

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#66
I think it's not as much about social proof as it is about feeling protected and cared for. The marketing strategy ("social proof" over "feeling lonely") let the users benefit from the service without feeling shame: loneliness is unfortunately still considered some kind of stigma.

Invisible Boyfriend might be the polar opposite and complement of prostitution: the first simulating the love between a protector and his protégé, the second providing a sex partner. I'm not implying any moral fault, but it's fascinating nonetheless.

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#67
post #12

Reminds me of the movie "Her" about an invisible AI girlfriend. Worth watching!

It reminded me of that too, since I read the article to the end.

Ha, reading the comments it reminded me of Her too and I was wondering why no-one was mentioning the similarity.

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#68
Basically virtual escorting as a service (not all escorting is sex, some of it is just companionship). For now there's no sex involved but with how easy it is to connect people nearby you could easily see this type of service expand in markets where it's legal.

I could see nude selfies being sent too down the road (again a different service, not exactly this one).

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#69
post #57
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a fine line (maybe not so fine) as to when something becomes manipulation IMHO - though if someone's paying $25 monthly for someone(s) to chat with to feel connected then I suppose they've applied an added bias or value; makes me feel a bit sad if the people aren't doing it just for fun.

People are doing sadder things than this to keep the emotional lights on. At least it's cheaper than prostitutes. You know the saddest first-world thing I've ever heard? A prostitute doing a reddit AMA had a client once that wanted her to sing "happy birthday" for him. It was his birthday and no one else was going to.

Agreed.

Re: “I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love”

#70
post #59

Not surprised that it works, it looks like something fun to do on both sides. In fact, i believe people who love romance would sign up for a free service like this on both ends. (Since their niche is people who dont want to have the actual relationships, they could easily pair up their users with each other as pure conversation partners). The sad thing is the reason that this app exists. Has it become so taboo to be…

The really sad thing is that by using something (like this) to veil singleness, one cuts off any genuine interest from a genuine person. Few will initiate a date with someone texting their (unbenownst virtual) "significant other".
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