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#3> "You basically just can't come in, bro up, stack up and get the f* out."
Sadly, this is a myth that has been perpetuated since the literal Gold Rush and before. Life is tough. There's no need to drink stylish $12 wine (read Balzac's Lost Illusions- it's a story about a poet who borrows money from his friends to Make It Big in Paris and utterly fucks everything up. It seems like we never learn from history.)
I don't think it's safe or fair to say that any place is unplugged from reality. Reality is what it is. And when you have opportunists flooding a place, it behaves differently, operates differently.
Sorry about your GF, but again– nobody owes anybody anything. Welcome to reality. You should probably take a long break. Things might not be as bleak as they seem- your experience might teach you some things you don't realize you're learning. (That said, some people seem to just blunder ahead for years and years: http://michalsobel.com/en/experiences/the-idea-of-giving-up-... )
Thinking further about this: How do you avoid tiredness? What you describe isn't just run-of-the-mill tiredness, but the sort of exhaustion you get when you've been pushing at a door marked 'pull'. If you create something of value and get positive feedback, that gives you the energy you need to continue along the process. It's absolutely crucial to get to your personal a-ha moments as fast as you can, because otherwise you run yourself aground.
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#4[deleted]
Reading this also reminds me of Balzac's Lost Illusions. I highly recommend it to anybody who thinks that what's going on is anything new:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illusions_perdues http://www.salon.com/2005/08/08/balzac/
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#5"Seriously, who can work 80hours/week"
There's your problem. I feel bushed after a 40 hour week (I typically work 30-35 hours a week), I cannot imagine working 6 days for 13 hours, that's just incomprehensible to me.
Where do people squeeze time for family and fun? You're burned out, and with good reason, don't feel sorry about that.
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#6Quit yer whining. Wait until you're almost 50 and all your dreams are nowhere in sight, you have kids to feed, bills to pay, and a boss that has the intelligence of a cantaloupe.
It's called the human condition.
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#7The 80 hours a week thing broke me mentally and physically in the early part of this decade. You can't sustain it. They are wrong for asking you to. Nothing that any of these people are doing is worth that...and they will not pay you what it's worth, no matter what.
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#8To address one small part of this:
I've always found most of America outside New York to be hostile toward foreigners. This is one reason I love New York so much: nobody is from here, and even those who are, still have an identity and heritage that points to somewhere else (which they are usually proud of).
That diversity in background produces an attitude that I believe is unmatched anywhere else, and contrasts sharply with the bay area. And despite our city's reputation for being expensive, people from every economic band live here successfully while working hard to pull themselves into the next bracket.
To the OP: It sounds like you need a vacation more than anything. But after you take that, why not try out the city where everyone is going through the same immigration woes as you?
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#9> "You basically just can't come in, bro up, stack up and get the f* out." Sadly, this is a myth that has been perpetuated since the literal Gold Rush and before. Life is tough. There's no need to drink stylish $12 wine (read Balzac's Lost Illusions- it's a story about a poet who borrows money from his friends to Make It Big in Paris and utterly fucks everything up. It seems like we never learn from history.) I don't…
No one owes anyone anything if we are talking about commerce. People are owed respect and decency.
Your comparison to the gold rush is an apt one, though.
Cheers.
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#10Lone parent of 2 kids (5 & 2) juggling a full time job and freelance on the side just to make enough to cover the bills and mortgage (which I'm trying to buy my ex out of).
Yeah, I know tired.
Don't have any advice, but you're not alone, and it's certainly not restricted to the SF location.