I'm about to ask for a raise for the first time but I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. I've been with this company for 7 years and only received 2-3% increases the past 3 years. I interviewed at a competitor and they offered me a 20% increase, which I turned down. During negotiations should I simply ask for them to match? I don't want them to think I'm actively looking for a new job but want to get paid my worth…
At the end, I simply said 'Something I want to bring up is that I've looked at the market and I don't feel I am being paid adequately for the value I'm creating'. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an awkward conversation. I didn't mention any number at all & was actually met with a slightly negative response, but a week later at the next 1-on-1, it was brought up again & I was awarded a 10% cash raise (I negotiated some ISO's too).
In your scenario, I wouldn't tell them that you interviewed at a competitor either. You can simply tell them that you've looked at other roles & determined market rate as being higher than what you're currently paid. Only use another offer as leverage if you are prepared to leave & take that offer.
Modesty aside, I'll also admit that I'm a high performer in our team & so I already knew that I had leverage. Something I've learned though is that unless you bring it up, it's never going to happen - there is no-one looking out for you unfortunately, so take the initiative & help yourself where you can - it equates to hundreds of thousands of dollars over your career.