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Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

nytimes.com

51–60 of 67 posts

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#51
post #47

In a psychology class I took, we applied this procedure as an in-class exercise, pairing up and asking each other the questions. It works well.

If it works well, is it ethical for a teacher to let you do it as an exercise (simplest example: some of those doing the exercise may be in a relationship with someone not in the class)?

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#53
post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It was a published study. In academia, that is the goal, and the goal was met. Do you really mean to ask why didn't the study authors monetize this? If so, you are looking at academia through startup-tinted lenses.

It's not about monetizing this. But people who know about this, don't they think it could really help lots of people ? and if so aren't they, especially in the fields of psychology, motivated by such things ? Because popularizing this might be the most valuable thing they could do in their professional lives.

Unless it is fundamentally wrong. In which case, it could be a major mistake. So you let it exist for a while and see if there is any counter-research or alternative explanations that have been overlooked.

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#55
post #54

"To Fall in Love with Anyone, Stare Into Their Eyes for 4 Minutes" I hate business models that work by wasting your time. It's not a bad article though.

What on Earth prompted you to use the phrase 'business model' in this context?

I'd guess he refers to: Clickbait Title -> Page Views -> Ad Views/Exposure -> Revenue

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#56
post #22

What i don't get-why did something like this remains hidden from the general public for 20 years ? Why didn't the study authors worked on popularizing this ?

The part about staring into someone's eyes is pretty well known. I remember hearing about it in the context of something that cults do to try to build a false sense of intimacy. IIRC, there's something about staring into someone's eyes, particularly at a distance of a foot or less, that we subconsciously associate with those closest to us which causes us to suspend our defense mechanisms.

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#57
post #51
post #47

In a psychology class I took, we applied this procedure as an in-class exercise, pairing up and asking each other the questions. It works well.

If it works well, is it ethical for a teacher to let you do it as an exercise (simplest example: some of those doing the exercise may be in a relationship with someone not in the class)?

We didn't do the full procedure, just a subset of the questions. We were not forming intimate relationships, just developing a sense of closeness in a short amount of time and learning about what that involves (e.g. reciprocal personal self-disclosure). So I don't think it was harmful or unethical.

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#58
post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The whole, whole point of her article is that, in that action, you're not choosing love, and won't get it. Read the last sentence of her article again...

The whole point of my comment is that it was a joke. HN, at least officially , frowns on humorous remarks. But I've found that it's not always true. I fully expect that I will be "spontaneously" bombarded with these questions on dates in the coming months. And they will lose all efficacy because people will prepare for them in the same way that they prepare for idiotic brain-teasers and HR questions.

Describe the last time you went to the zoo.

Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love

#60
I was so inspired by this article that I spent the day coding an app / game that beautifully guides you through the questions and includes a built in timer with a sound for the eye gazing.

http://LoveActualized.com

I envision is being something that would be fun on a first date as a game.

Also - I've used eye gazing and several variations with profound results in my coaching work -- many of my clients have said that a ~3 minute session is easily the most profound experience of their lives.

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