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Our No Asshole Rule

adventur.es

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Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#51

Post by josephlord »

Sounds a bit constipated to me.

To be serious it depends greatly on the definition of asshole. If it means that racist, sexist, other discriminatory behaviour and general mean or vindictive behaviour is not tolerated that is good. It does need to be careful that it doesn't prevent disagreement and dissent when they are appropriate. Really not keen on interviewing and judging on partners either. The question of how they treat people of perceived lower status (waiting staff) is probably valuable on the other hand.

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#52

Post by crazyjayd »

thornygreb wrote: post #5

I was not an asshole when the company hired me...the company turned me into an asshole!

I know the feeling. I work with a real asshole, and that in turn has turned me into a asshole. I have to fight it on a daily basis, and it makes me really hate coming into work. I just try to stay positive.

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#53

Post by iopq »

learnstats2 wrote: post #49
iopq wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately, if that happened to me I would think the managers are morons and my teammates are dicks for saying that I was being an asshole.

I think that's partly my point. A manager would hopefully recognise and deal with this situation, considerately, before the word 'asshole' was used. Then, the problem doesn't exist in the first place. If you've reached the stage you describe, you're probably not ever going to play nicely with that team. Sorry.

I personally never have, but I've gotten impatient with people who don't understand what I'm talking about. If you don't understand that I'm trying to help you and I'm getting frustrated and you have to go to the manager and cry, then I wouldn't want to work with you.

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#54

Post by jameshart »

noxryan wrote: post #17
uniformlyrandom wrote: post #13

I wonder how they determine if someone is an asshole. Sounds like a perfect opportunity to fire anyone. Because this line: > We have no tolerance for dishonest, manipulative, belittling, or egocentric individuals , made me think that this blog post was written by an asshole.

This is what they claim: "There are two almost sure-fire ways to understand someone’s perspective. The first is to eat with them. How do they treat the wait staff? Are they demanding, or easily agitated? What happens when things aren’t perfect? The other test is to meet their significant other. What qualities did they choose in the person with whom has the most influence over them? We call these the asshole acid test…

And if your meal with them also reveals that the person asks the waiter whether the meat is Halal, or that their significant other is the same sex as them, then you had better have a better argument than 'I just didn't like the way they treated the waitstaff' or 'I don't like their SO' to justify not hiring them...

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#55

Post by DanBC »

[deleted] wrote: post #40
_pmf_ wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> made me think that this blog post was written by an asshole No, no; marketing people are excluded from this rule, obviously. The rule is only applicable to these disgusting engineers who have opinions and technical insight.

[deleted]

Why did you introduce a weird and flame-bait diversion?

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#56

Post by jonahx »

drzaiusapelord wrote: post #28

> We have no tolerance for dishonest, manipulative, belittling, or egocentric individuals This seems code for "I don't want an egocentric person here with more confidence than me." Honestly, it depends on the role. I want my guy who handles negotiations to be a tough character. I want my lawyer to be fearless. I want my security guards to be unafraid to assert themselves if they see something. This is what both this…

> So what if someone has more confidence than you? Is it such a threat to your company and well-being?

I think it's interesting that you tacitly equated "asshole" with "confidence." I don't think you're alone in this, and certainly not if you treat it as merely a fast heuristic. I don't think it's right though. And I think it's a relatively new cultural phenomenon, perceptibly growing over the last thirty years.

"Confidence," (in the self-confidence sense) is etymologically just about trust or faith in oneself or one's abilities. It has nothing to do with aggression or selfishness. That correlation is something, I think, that people notice and selectively remember. It makes sense from a Darwinian perspective that we selectively remember "assholes." And the Sammy Glick / Gordon Gecko / etc narrative is so much a cultural staple at this point that it's self reinforcing.

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#57

Post by crazyjayd »

euphemize wrote: post #47

For those who read till the end: The other test is to meet their significant other. What qualities did they choose in the person with whom has the most influence over them? We call these the “asshole acid test. I like the idea, and would love to meet every candidate's SO, but I can't imagine how this would work out well, practically speaking. I'm also thinking in reverse - what if my SO's prospective employer request…

I would imagine they have a big dinner, with drinks etc. Invite all significant others (Candidates and Employers) to make it a kind of "fun" thing. I would be super proud to have my future employers meet my SO. Also, she's a really solid sounding board, and she could point out that the employers are actually "assholes".

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#58

Post by grandalf »

Some people are too nice and others are too mean.

In the middle are people who can hold themselves and others accountable and whose behavior cultivates a culture of respect and teamwork.

In my opinion, assholes are people whose behavior (intentional or not) shuts down creativity and collaboration.

The key thing to understand is that companies learn as a team how to get the desired results. This means people need to be able to communicate, to trust their coworkers, to feel comfortable putting themselves out there, etc. Success is made up of thousands of small interactions.

Assholes are people who get in the way of healthy team functioning by bullying, trying to be right all the time, intimidating others, etc.

Some assholes are smart and have something to offer, but it should be weighed against the cascade of downsides as well.

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#59

Post by xiaoma »

drzaiusapelord wrote: post #28

> We have no tolerance for dishonest, manipulative, belittling, or egocentric individuals This seems code for "I don't want an egocentric person here with more confidence than me." Honestly, it depends on the role. I want my guy who handles negotiations to be a tough character. I want my lawyer to be fearless. I want my security guards to be unafraid to assert themselves if they see something. This is what both this…

I don't see dishonest / various other anti-social behaviors as code for "confident". Even being egocentric is something other than confidence. In fact it's often a lack of one that leads to the other.

It's entire possible to be confident without being an asshole.

Re: Our No Asshole Rule

#60

Post by overgard »

So there's this term I love that has sort of fallen out of use recently, but it's useful in this conversation:

"grinfucker"

IE, the kind of person that is socially extremely polite and gracious, but fucks you over in subtle ways.

I totally agree with the spirit of this article, but I think they've defined "asshole" as "caustic person". I think the most corrosive people are actually the grinfuckers -- the people that will smile at you one day and stab you in the back the next. I like caustic people! They might be difficult in the moment, but at least they're honest.

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