Our No Asshole Rule
adventur.es
Our No Asshole Rule
1–10 of 75 posts
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#2But what about employees that aren't assholes per se (in the sense that they are evil or egocentric), but just socially awkward?
To give one example: A intellectually brillant employee wants to explain some complicated programming or math concepts so that the other people at the company can become better - a very noble plan. But because of their social inaptness this is considered to be rude and arrogant by the other team members.
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#3This did not pass my bullshit test... does that make me an asshole?
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#4But what about employees that aren't assholes per se (in the sense that they are evil or egocentric), but just socially awkward? To give one example: A intellectually brillant employee wants to explain some complicated programming or math concepts so that the other people at the company can become better - a very noble plan. But because of their social inaptness this is considered to be rude and arrogant by the other…
I have found that often (but not always), individuals who claim "awkwardness" or hide behind a label of awkwardness to avoid criticism for misbehavior are, in fact, assholes (as this article would seem to define them). People who are truly awkward don't go around telling others how awkward they are (close friends/partners/family excepted).
The difference is easy to suss out: approach the person in question, say "hey, I think behavior X is causing an issue between us, can we work on it?" and wait. If they agree to try and then actually do(even if they don't succeed), they're not an asshole. If they make excuses, or agree to change but make no visible effort, they are.
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#5I was not an asshole when the company hired me...the company turned me into an asshole!
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#6I see why adventur.es see the need to do something like this, but like all methodologies, this recipe is liable to being hacked, cargo-culted, and used as a weapon for assholes, believe it or not. There is no hope of measuring and comparing objective data. I suspect, this is a far too simple answer to a real problem. It was surely meant well, but it will end up producing worse.
(Edit: Typo)
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#7But what about employees that aren't assholes per se (in the sense that they are evil or egocentric), but just socially awkward? To give one example: A intellectually brillant employee wants to explain some complicated programming or math concepts so that the other people at the company can become better - a very noble plan. But because of their social inaptness this is considered to be rude and arrogant by the other…
I actually worked with a guy like this. He was a very intelligent, almost brilliant programmer at a very young age. But as brilliant as he was, he also was pretty socially awkward. It took me a lot of time and patience getting used to his way of communicating. At first, he sounded like an arrogant a\\hole, who always knew better. After some time working together, I was able to reinterpret his behavior so that I wouldn't feel offended by his ways and even found him being an actually cool guy to work with. But I know for sure, that a lot of people didn't try, which in the long run could cost him some of his reputation.
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#8But what about employees that aren't assholes per se (in the sense that they are evil or egocentric), but just socially awkward? To give one example: A intellectually brillant employee wants to explain some complicated programming or math concepts so that the other people at the company can become better - a very noble plan. But because of their social inaptness this is considered to be rude and arrogant by the other…
I have found that often (but not always), individuals who claim "awkwardness" or hide behind a label of awkwardness to avoid criticism for misbehavior are, in fact, assholes (as this article would seem to define them). People who are truly awkward don't go around telling others how awkward they are (close friends/partners/family excepted). The difference is easy to suss out: approach the person in question, say "hey,…
wolfgke was talking about people who are awkward, not people who label themselves awkward.
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#9But what about employees that aren't assholes per se (in the sense that they are evil or egocentric), but just socially awkward? To give one example: A intellectually brillant employee wants to explain some complicated programming or math concepts so that the other people at the company can become better - a very noble plan. But because of their social inaptness this is considered to be rude and arrogant by the other…
`dang has pointed out the Principle of Charity [0], and I think it's beneficial to go one step further and choose to interpret that people are trying to be helpful by default. In fact, I think that if a person merely chooses to interprest best-case first by default, you can generally get along with anyone (until they incontrovertably prove you wrong... then it gets a bit awkward fast).
I think that if the others are trying not to be jerks, then this awkward soul won't have much trouble. Properly implemented, there can be a lot of slack available to such a person. (Heck, I'm not brilliant, but many people seem to put up with and like me despite being fairly intense when wound up.)
EDIT: Hey, references are cool: [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8800322
Re: Our No Asshole Rule
#10Upvoting this because it's worthy of discussion, but in my mind a little off-base.
Ever work in a big, dysfunctional environment? I have. My job is to help teams work better, so I get a chance to work in startups, BigCorps, government IT shops -- pretty much everything.
As a rule, large dysfunctional environments are full of people who are extremely polite to each other. You have to be: when you've got a thousand people, you can't walk around ticking people off. People don't survive like that.
But those are the worst places to work. Even worse than the out-of-control, balls-to-the-wall startups. Why? Because hidden apathy is rampant. People will smile, help out, be polite -- even applaud new ideas. But nothing changes. The organization has eliminated assholes to the point where no difficult conversations take place.
Don't go there.
Ever see a high-performing team? Got news for you. Sometimes people say things they shouldn't. They're incivil -- but not on purpose. It's just that they care deeply about what they're doing and you're not always able to express criticism in the most fluffy way possible.
A better way is to go with fierce opinions, lightly held. People have difficult conversations, sometimes with invective and emotion, but from a standpoint of caring for each other and the work. Once they've made their case with as much vigor as they like, they're amenable to change.
So it's not assholes. Everybody is an asshole. It's part of being human. It's manipulative people -- weasels -- whether they use bullying or "facilitation" to manipulate. People who don't have a clear and simple mission that everybody knows and agrees with are poison to any organization.
One business self-help guy put it this way: intent counts more than technique. You can be a bit rough around the edges as long as you mean well and are flexible. What you can't do is use aggression to force people to your will. But there are plenty other tricks besides aggression to do this, and they're all bad.