Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's not really helpful. IE is no longer a shitty browser; why should it be killed off?
It really is. Even in IE11 there's a bunch of busted basics. The CustomEvent constructor is broken out of the box. Edit: see details in post below.
The people over at Microsoft are not idiots - even though Microsoft is no longer the new hotness, they still pay developers well, and have some pretty tight engineering going on. So when you say "The Event constructor is broken out of the box", my first instinct is to assume that the Microsoft engineers have implemented the constructor in their way for reasons that you're not smart enough to have grasped.
But, as I said, I know that you aren't a young inexperienced programmer, so you probably have some good reasons to make the claim, which leads me to the point of this rambling post - why is the Event constructor broken in IE? I'm curious to know what specific problems you have with it.