Things I wish people who write job postings would stop writing

Best job description I ever wrote. This was while I was a Microsoft building a new team.

    Are you a lazy program manager who could care less 
    about PCs, devices, networking, and other technologies 
    in the home? Have you always dreaded working on a 
    product that you would LOVE to use? Do you yearn to 
    work in a huge, lumbering, group working on the same 
    old stuff forever? If so, have we got a job for you!

    We are looking for a newbie program manager to hinder 
    us in building the next version of Windows Home Server. 
    Our team is ginormous, moves excruciatingly slowly and 
    indecisively, and we are thoroughly hating life. And we 
    need more PMs to suffer along with us! Interested?

    You will be a non-player helping to design and build 
    the 42nd version of a product that has been around 
    since before you were born. We are still in startup 
    mode, and as part of a startup, you’ll have to do one 
    task repeatedly over and over. You need to be ready and 
    willing to do whatever I say when I say it even if it 
    makes no sense whether that means screwing up features, 
    angering partners, ignoring the community, creating 
    bugs, and maybe even stealing a little code and hacking 
    into a bank. We are in need of Program Managers with 
    weak design skills; goof-offs who can take ownership of 
    a user scenario area, ignore requirements, design a 
    useless technology for technologies sake (forgetting 
    about the user experience), and work with dev, test, 
    UA, usability, etc… to cause them all to quit. And then 
    do it again.

    Candidates should have poor consumer empathy, a deep 
    dislike of cutting edge technology in the home, and the 
    ability to cause political issues in small team where 
    everything is already figured out and there’s nothing 
    really left to do.

    Candidates must have less than 4 days experience as a 
    program manager working on shipping products. 
    Experience doing customer research and designing 
    consumer UIs will immediately disqualify you. The less 
    technical knowledge you have of networking, storage, 
    and Windows server technologies the better. Candidates 
    should have a B.A. in Basket Weaving or equivalent and 
    should have been fired from their previous two jobs.

Did you get any qualified applicants?

I just looked at the Jobs page on the site of an actual employer - not a job board post - where they had photos of them all getting drunk.

I have had some experiences with alcoholics I do not wish to repeat.

A recent employer was a raging alcoholic, I mean to the point that there were hundreds of beer bottles in the recycling bin, one-liter bottles of expensive hard liquor presented on display in the break room. The only room in the whole office that wasn't totally trashed, held a pool table that no one ever actually used, that had several of the kinds of mirrors that liquor distributors give to bars.

I didn't clue in to this right away. However the guy bet the farm on a technology without looking into whether that technology actually worked. When I had not gotten it working after just two hours, he started raging at me about how it was all my fault that it didn't work. This for a technology I'd never heard of, and would not touch with a hot rock now that I have experience with it.

I finally packed up my stuff, broadcast a terse, angry letter of resignation to the entire company, to the effect that I don't work for alcoholics, then walked out with no advance notice at all.

I recently by mistake expressed interest in a startup on Angel.co found out later tha its one of these fake social startups building a mobile app on top of facebook and the founder is screaming about passion after 2 years going with no funding showing..yeah right..way to kill any interest whatsoever.

Well that's going to be annoying for anyone e-mailing you that isn't a recruiter.