The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
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The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
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Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#2Regarding the plot towards the end of the article, what does "efficiency" mean? Surely "vanishing" while the other person is still speaking is the fastest way to end a conversation for the least effort.
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#3Regarding the plot towards the end of the article, what does "efficiency" mean? Surely "vanishing" while the other person is still speaking is the fastest way to end a conversation for the least effort.
Based on the other points, I'm guessing it relates to expenditure of time and effort on behalf of the speaker.
Vanishing requires you change location, whereas the more "efficient" rudeness would hopefully make the other person leave instead. Note that "non-responsiveness" is the least efficient, because I suspect the most likely response is for someone to keep questioning why you're not responding, wasting time. With that said, "vanishing" would almost certainly be the most efficient on a phone call, as it's just hanging up.
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#4This brings to mind a conversation I once had with a smart, young female programmer with a playful sense of humor.
Me: I have a meeting.
Her: yeah, right.
Those were fun times.
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#5Regarding the plot towards the end of the article, what does "efficiency" mean? Surely "vanishing" while the other person is still speaking is the fastest way to end a conversation for the least effort.
Based on the other points, I'm guessing it relates to expenditure of time and effort on behalf of the speaker. Vanishing requires you change location, whereas the more "efficient" rudeness would hopefully make the other person leave instead. Note that "non-responsiveness" is the least efficient, because I suspect the most likely response is for someone to keep questioning why you're not responding, wasting time. With…
Fair enough, I was thinking of situations where the conversation wouldn't be held in your own space. In which case, changing location is something you would've had to do anyway.
I just really like the sheer surrealness of ending a conversation by walking off mid-sentence.
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#6In the UK we have "right, I'll let you get on" like you are doing them a favour.
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#7This brings to mind a conversation I once had with a smart, young female programmer with a playful sense of humor. Me: I have a meeting. Her: yeah, right. Those were fun times.
What does being young or female have to do with it?
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#8In the UK we have "right, I'll let you get on" like you are doing them a favour.
Its not just a Britishism. Its identified in the master's thesis linked to in the article [1] as a form of "turning the table" which "seem[s] to place the onus of ending the conversation on the conversational partner." (pg 63)
[1] http://scholarworks.sjsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=405...
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#9In the UK we have "right, I'll let you get on" like you are doing them a favour.
I am a french speaker and I ended up going with a slight variation :
"Right|Okay, I have to leave you (now)+."
Re: The Science of Politely Ending a Conversation
#10In the UK we have "right, I'll let you get on" like you are doing them a favour.
I am a french speaker and I ended up going with a slight variation : "Right|Okay, I have to leave you (now)+." In french it implies something like "I wish I could go on but alas I am obliged to take care of something else right now".
Which is why getting tone right in a foreign language is next to impossible. I'm guessing you're translating from "il faut que j'y aille" which is politer in French, thanks to the use of the subjunctive. In English though, without this grammatical tone-setter, you've basically just told someone that you have something that you consider more important than them. Sometimes that can work, especially when the other person isn't expecting your undivided attention, but other times, not so much.