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Say No

boz.com

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Re: Say No

#81

Post by overgard »

I think a corollary is that, it's surprising how much you can say no to (if you're polite about it). I notice the dynamics are different in a really big company versus a small one though. Like if you're in a large company, meetings tend to cast a wide net and usually it's impossible to get 100% attendance anyway, so it's a lot easier to hide (metaphorically). Especially if you've sort of built a mystique of having a lot of fish on the fryer. On the other hand, in a small organization people are pretty aware of each others business, so it's a lot harder to pull the "gosh I wanted to attend but I had this other thing come up..." card. Then you have to be a little bit more direct with the "I have things to do and this isn't that important' deal.

If I were to wear my slightly evil hat though, I would say it's useful to occasionally decline meetings. It doesn't hurt to remind people your time is of value.

Re: Say No

#82

Post by calinet6 »

xpto123 wrote: post #3

A lot of this is culture dependent I believe, but i am under the impression that at least on western countries you cannot do this a lot of times without a high cost, specially if you re not a manager. If someone comes to your desk directly, you are supposed to stop what you are doing and give your attention to that person, even if you are working on something really urgent. Refusing meeting requests is also not well…

Even though it might be difficult, it is some extremely useful and accurate advice.

The overarching point is that you need to focus on what's truly important.

This does not mean you need to be rude or outright say "no" in a blunt or un-tactful way. You can come up with any way you like to manage those interruptions and distractions. The point is that people who truly get things completed usually keep their focus and know how to say no to things that aren't truly important.

It's extremely useful to me at this point in my career, and I can think of others who have the same issue, being constantly busy with less important "now" items and being unable to focus on what I believe is really important. Part of it is the company, the people, and that I'm able to do many things; but most of the problem is in how I manage those inputs, and what I train people to do. It's my responsibility to manage my own time to reach the greatest impact, and in doing that, the company will improve; even for the people who think they needed my time urgently.

I'm a huge systems thinker and I generally try not to blame individuals for problems, but this is something I recognize as being almost totally on me.

Re: Say No

#83

Post by jemfinch »

nostrademons wrote: post #44
xpto123 wrote: post #3

A lot of this is culture dependent I believe, but i am under the impression that at least on western countries you cannot do this a lot of times without a high cost, specially if you re not a manager. If someone comes to your desk directly, you are supposed to stop what you are doing and give your attention to that person, even if you are working on something really urgent. Refusing meeting requests is also not well…

It's industry, role, and company dependent more than country dependent. A lot depends upon what you are paid to deliver. If you're a software engineer, you are paid to deliver working software. You can deliver that software more efficiently if you do not let yourself be interrupted; hence, most good bosses will be okay with a "Shhh, not right now, send me an e-mail" if it's clear you're in the zone on a hard problem.…

> If you're a software engineer, you are paid to deliver working software.

No, you're paid to deliver solutions. Often the best way to get the solution you need is to make sure the N engineers around you are being productive.

Re: Say No

#85

Post by nostrademons »

jemfinch wrote: post #83
nostrademons wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's industry, role, and company dependent more than country dependent. A lot depends upon what you are paid to deliver. If you're a software engineer, you are paid to deliver working software. You can deliver that software more efficiently if you do not let yourself be interrupted; hence, most good bosses will be okay with a "Shhh, not right now, send me an e-mail" if it's clear you're in the zone on a hard problem.…

> If you're a software engineer, you are paid to deliver working software. No, you're paid to deliver solutions. Often the best way to get the solution you need is to make sure the N engineers around you are being productive.

Again, that depends on your role. Very often (usually depending on seniority) you actually are paid to deliver working code.

There've been times where the most productive use of my time was to answer questions all day long and not write a single line of code. There've also been times where my job was to shield the engineers on my team and intercept anyone who tried to talk to them. But a lot of the time - I am writing the code. If I don't write the code, it won't get written. The guy being paid to deliver solutions is an executive several levels above me on the org chart who's been with the company since he was the one heads-down writing code, and then it's my manager's job to shield me from everyone who wants to talk to me.

Re: Say No

#86

Post by illicium »

thallukrish wrote: post #84

I wonder how you say 'no' to HN.

You can't say 'no' on HM without being downvoted by the hivemind for not having an agreeable opinion.

Then the "why is everyone being so negative and critical?" comment rises to the top.

Re: Say No

#87

Post by minusSeven »

In my company we have exactly the opposite. We have a rule called "there are no stupid questions". If you get stuck at what you are doing you should ask for help(this goes for senior resources too).

In fact if you had got stuck but didn't ask for help and for some reason the work got delayed this will get escalated and you will be blamed for not asking for help. I just think thats the way it should be.

Re: Say No

#89

Post by hvidgaard »

xpto123 wrote: post #3

A lot of this is culture dependent I believe, but i am under the impression that at least on western countries you cannot do this a lot of times without a high cost, specially if you re not a manager. If someone comes to your desk directly, you are supposed to stop what you are doing and give your attention to that person, even if you are working on something really urgent. Refusing meeting requests is also not well…

It doesn't have to be demoralizing. I oftentimes say not now, shoot me an email, Skype or ask me after lunch. It has created a culture where they interrupt me only if it is urgent enough to warrent I get out of my workflow and have to restart it.

I believe this is what the article is all about.

Re: Say No

#90

Post by hvidgaard »

thisisboz wrote: post #66

For what it is worth, I do think Dustin could have been a little more gracious in how he approached it and I mention in my note that it isn't meant to be an excuse to be rude. I actually think it was fine for him to do this to me not because he was my boss but because we had a good relationship. Still, when this happens to me, I usually say something like "I'm in the middle of X right now, can this wait until Y?" --…

It helps having a manager that helps you do this. I can (and do) say 'a' isn't a prioty right now, I'm working on 'r'. If it is urgent take it up with >managers name< and we can reprioritize if he agrees. After all I have given him a promise that something will be done, and he is the one to make the decision to postpone it, not me.
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