Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#1

Post by cpach » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 1:52 PM UTC

patio11 and other people on HN recommend that instead of just responding to job postings and sending out one’s resume, a better way to get a good job is to find hiring managers and meet them over a cup of coffee.

To me this sounds like sound advice. Still, I must admit it would feel a bit weird to ask my peers for their manager’s number and then ask the manager if they want to meet, just ”out of the blue”. Perhaps these customs vary from country to country. (I live in Sweden.)

I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking this. I guess it’s just as simple as asking and see who will seize the opportunity? Or is there some ”coffee date etiquette” one should be aware of? :) Is it okey to ask someone (my peers) to give out someone else’s (the manager’s) number?

Also, my occupation is currently not programming, I’m rather targeting sysadmin/application support jobs.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#2

Post by sjs382 » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:05 PM UTC

I agree that it would be weird to call the hiring manager "out of the blue"—I would ask for an introduction, rather than a phone number. If your friend is a bit introverted, have them introduce you via email, then respond with a (very short) bit about who you are and what your motivation is.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#3

Post by Someone1234 » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:05 PM UTC

> Still, I must admit it would feel a bit weird to ask my peers for their manager’s number and then ask the manager if they want to meet, just ”out of the blue”.

That would be strange. Wouldn't you get your friend, the intermediary, to set up the "date?"

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#4

Post by dsr_ » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:19 PM UTC

I'm a sysadmin manager in the US. Let's suppose that I have a position open (at http://www.smartleaf.com/careers/) and that you think you're qualified for it.

You could send me your resume and a cover letter. This would be impressive, because very few people manage to do this according to my rigorous demands (plain text or PDF, tell me a story about an interesting technical problem you solved).

Or, if you knew someone at the company, you could talk to them and have them talk to me. I will generally trust their opinion enough to set aside time for coffee with you.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#5

Post by Dirlewanger » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:23 PM UTC

At least in the US, discussing coffee date etiquette usually carries the context of meeting a potential partner. Not so much regarding a relationship establishment for a job. Not to say that this would be frowned-upon, just unusual.

I think that if the two parties are in very near vicinity of each other, meeting over coffee could be a nice replacement for the typical first phone interview (finding out the prospect's experience/aspirations/etc.). I also feel like one would get more responses to these inquiries in Silicon Valley as opposed to, say, the Northeast.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#6

Post by thebiglebrewski » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:23 PM UTC

I think like everyone is kind of saying here, the key is an introduction/intermediary to get your foot in the door. Even if it's just a friend of a friend. Otherwise, you can always try to e-mail out of the blue but calling is probably a little bit too aggressive. The worst thing that could happen is that someone doesn't reply to your e-mail.

Also, I'd be prepared for this meeting to be not just about you getting a job. Come with a lot of interesting questions to ask the person and make it about them and their company. When they ask about you, casually drop that you're looking for a new gig but don't make a big deal about it at all.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#7

Post by JohnBooty » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:28 PM UTC

The purpose of a coffee date is to weed out people who don't drink coffee. You wouldn't want to work with such a freak of nature!

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#8

Post by eli » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:29 PM UTC

I'd personally prefer a nice personal sounding email than a cold call from someone I don't know, but it's not that big a deal. I've gotten "out of the blue" requests like this before and I usually say yes. If the request came via an employee, I'd definitely say yes.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#9

Post by tarheel » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:32 PM UTC

The best way to get a job is to get a personal introduction to the hiring manager and build rapport with them. I would not ask for their manager's number. I would ask them to make an introduction. That will carry much more weight. A "Coffee Date" is a common way to have that initial meeting. It is perfectly reasonable to suggest (or have the person introducing you suggest) meeting over coffee. It's just a social nicety that can help break the formality of a first 'interview'.

Re: Ask HN: ”Coffee date” etiquette

#10

Post by peterwwillis » Thu, Oct 30, 2014, 2:34 PM UTC

Ask your peer for an introduction. It's always much better to be introduced by someone the manager knows or respects than via a cold-call. (It plays on association fallacy in your favor)

If you don't know anyone who knows the manager, find their contact information and contact them, informing them you're very interested in the position they have open and you would love to discuss it over coffee. It's not "out of the blue" because they have been looking for someone to fill a position, and you are that someone.

Also, keep in mind that some hiring managers may ignore you or put off meeting/interviewing you until you bug them enough. I was kept in limbo for a couple months once because I was afraid of being "pushy" while they were basically waiting me out.