11–20 of 59 posts
In high school I had 30 casual friends and 15 close friends, at University I had 20 casual friends and 10 close friends, now I have 10 casual friends and 5 close friends, I predict them to reduce to zero when I get married. :(
It's unfortunate you don't consider your spouse a close friend.
> a hundred and fifty, is the number of people we call casual friends—the people, say, you’d invite to a large party. (In reality, it’s a range: a hundred at the low end and two hundred for the more social of us.) And I thought I was doing well with 4 casual friends and one close friend.
I haven't socialized outside of work with someone who I don't work directly with in... decades? (aside from the person I'm married to :) ) I also see lots of other comments in this thread echoing similar sentiment. I have a feeling we may be in a community that is an outlier to "typical" social behaviors.
But I'm a genuine introvert and don't mind.
Same holds true for client relationships in IT.
After that they are just faces in the crowd, not people.
> a hundred and fifty, is the number of people we call casual friends—the people, say, you’d invite to a large party. (In reality, it’s a range: a hundred at the low end and two hundred for the more social of us.) And I thought I was doing well with 4 casual friends and one close friend.
On the contrary, I have many casual friends but 0 close friends. I'd say I'm pretty extroverted and like having a wide social circle but the lack of close friends does bother me sometimes.
In high school I had 30 casual friends and 15 close friends, at University I had 20 casual friends and 10 close friends, now I have 10 casual friends and 5 close friends, I predict them to reduce to zero when I get married. :(
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I haven't socialized outside of work with someone who I don't work directly with in... decades? (aside from the person I'm married to :) ) I also see lots of other comments in this thread echoing similar sentiment. I have a feeling we may be in a community that is an outlier to "typical" social behaviors.
I have worked remotely for years. I have no close friends anymore (aside from my wife) and I would not have any casual friends if I didn't go to church every now and then. But I'm a genuine introvert and don't mind.
I'd say "Introverts of the world, unite!" but that would kind of defeat the purpose.
I've speculated that the 150-person limit on pre-political human group sizes is due to the limits on our attention: http://www.tjradcliffe.com/?p=1203
That speculation was based on the idea that men form groups to support each other in mate competition, but it could well also be a primary phenomenon, with 12 or 13 being the absolute upper limit of our attentional resources. That would give 150 people as the typical group size. Either way, it would be very interesting if we could tie those two magic numbers--7 and 150--together somehow.
Every so often I set out to "make the rounds" and see my friends who are spread across the country. I'm a bit of a nomad and yet its often my return that triggers close friends to see each other when they live minutes away. Just pick up the phone and call someone from time to time, let them know you give a shit. It's amazing what a phone call once a month and a visit once a year can do to sustain a meaningful relationship with someone.
People are, on average, terrible at staying in touch with one another. Be the outlier, you'll make the world a better place.