Depression and feeling like an outsider • Hacker News Board

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#41

Post by DanBC » Mon, Sep 22, 2014, 11:20 PM UTC

mabbo wrote: post #37

jokoon wrote: post #2

1. try an antidepressant, keep taking it without changing the dosage. try this for at last one year. 2. when you feel down and you're feeling worse and worse, try going out and walking for at least 15 or 45 min, or find something to do. breathe. don't stay in one place. don't let immobility and routine drown you. if you can do something that can make you move and make memories, you should do it. depression is a brain…

While I agree with most of what you've said here, I disagree with #5. Feeling shitty because life is shitty, that's not depression, that's normal. "Depression is normal in our era because bad things are happening to everyone" is like saying "Well, schizophrenia is normal in our era, because sometimes weird things happen that you can't explain". The symptoms may be similar, but that doesn't make it the same thing.

There are increases in suicide when economies hit recession.

It seems reasonable to suggest that some people's depression is triggered by poor economy.

I agree that sadness and grief are not depression and are normal parts of life.

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#42

Post by DanBC » Mon, Sep 22, 2014, 11:40 PM UTC

It's always weird to see the amount of well meaning but misguided medical advice tossed out by people who have no medical training and who probably haven't been reading the research.

Here's what should happen if you were in England: http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg90

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#43

Post by golemotron » Mon, Sep 22, 2014, 11:40 PM UTC

This is one of the most important things a person who feels like an outsider can read. Even people who are not depressed fell that way. It's a basic part of the experience of being human - but you can see past it.

C.S. Lewis - The Inner Ring

http://www.lewissociety.org/innerring.php

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#44

Post by mjcohen » Mon, Sep 22, 2014, 11:41 PM UTC

ytNumbers wrote: post #39

Generally speaking, tech groups are not as friendly as non-tech groups. I'd recommend getting involved with some non-tech groups. There are so many worthy causes to volunteer for. And, if that's not your thing, there are plenty of groups that are all about having fun. In any case, don't rush to judgement on any group. I've found that if you show up enough times to a group's events, then you will be seen as a "regular…

Three things which I like: dance (my favorites are west coast swing, waltz, foxtrot, and salsa), poetry (even if you don't write, go to readings), and improv. Lessons are important both for learning and becoming part of a group.

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#45

Post by DanBC » Mon, Sep 22, 2014, 11:49 PM UTC

jokoon wrote: post #2

1. try an antidepressant, keep taking it without changing the dosage. try this for at last one year. 2. when you feel down and you're feeling worse and worse, try going out and walking for at least 15 or 45 min, or find something to do. breathe. don't stay in one place. don't let immobility and routine drown you. if you can do something that can make you move and make memories, you should do it. depression is a brain…

Anti depressants are not the first option to treat depression. Try CBT from an experienced practitioner, in combination with medication if needed.

2) exercise is moderately better than nothing for depression. Exercise is not better than anti-depressants, although there aren't many studies. Exercise is not better than talking therapies, although there aren't many studies. When you only look at good quality research the benefits of exercise over nothing are less clear. http://summaries.cochrane.org/CD004366/DEPRESSN_exercise-for...

3) and 4) are the equivalent of telling someone to just cheer up. This is unlikely to be helpful and may be harmful.

http://summaries.cochrane.org/CD004366/DEPRESSN_exercise-for...

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#46

Post by brogrammer90 » Mon, Sep 22, 2014, 11:58 PM UTC

You shouldn't care about the egos you run into at these meetups and hackathons. The majority of them were the beta males of their high schools and haven't accomplished anything other than having 50 followers on github.

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#47

Post by Scuds » Tue, Sep 23, 2014, 12:15 AM UTC

agumonkey wrote: post #3

jokoon wrote: post #2

1. try an antidepressant, keep taking it without changing the dosage. try this for at last one year. 2. when you feel down and you're feeling worse and worse, try going out and walking for at least 15 or 45 min, or find something to do. breathe. don't stay in one place. don't let immobility and routine drown you. if you can do something that can make you move and make memories, you should do it. depression is a brain…

Walking 45 minutes is a free medicine. Hills especially, by the time you reach the top, the euphoria may already be there, in sync with the view. Quite pretty. Forests aren't bad either.

It might not have straightened my teeth and cleared my acne, but daily walking + listening to podcasts pulls me out of my own head.

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#48

Post by rubyfan » Tue, Sep 23, 2014, 12:27 AM UTC

I haven't been black but I have been an entrepreneur and I have been depressed (at the same time). Being a hacker and an entrepreneur is extremely isolating. You are literally forging a path forward and everyone is a doubter and a hater and you'll find very few people who will believe in you. Don't let that stop you - build something you believe in, solve a problem, find someone who will pay you and then do it again faster.

It sounds like you know this already but you must hang in there. The feeling will pass with time... let it pass.

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#49

Post by depreseddev » Tue, Sep 23, 2014, 12:33 AM UTC

Those of you writing messages to the OP - I'm not the OP. I followed his feed after his last depression post because I deal w depression too. I sent him a note to let him know I posted to HN - dunno if he saw it. He's usually active on twitter so I would message there if you want to reach out.

Re: Depression and feeling like an outsider

#50

Post by depressedtoo » Tue, Sep 23, 2014, 12:48 AM UTC

I really identified with your post. And I'm jealous of your courage.

I had a lot of crappy stuff happen when I was younger, and I still struggle with depression and anxiety from it.

I wrote about it once. But anonymously: http://boingboing.net/2013/01/05/pedagogyofthedepressed.html

I don't think I could succeed, professionally, if I had that kind of thing out there under my real name. And it really hurts, to feel like you have this secret you have to carry around lest people refuse to hire you.

I can't begin imagine what it must be like to also then be part of an underrepresented group. But I admire your bravery.