People often spend a significant amount of time worrying about what tomorrow will bring and in turn negatively affect today. This is a dilemma that we all face on a regular basis. We worry about hitting our quota because if not, we will potentially lose our job; we dread an upcoming family event because we are going to be forced to spend time with a "long lost" relative; we are concerned about going on vacation because we have not kept to our diet; we worry that our start-up will not get funded and we will be forced to work at a corporate giant; we fear an upcoming airline flight and do not enjoy our vacation; and we are troubled that a loved one, (or even ourselves), is going to die because of a recent diagnosis of a terminal disease. All of these worries, dreads, concerns, and troubles lead to what I like to call "F-e-a-r"or in other words, False Evidence Appearing Real. I am sure we will agree that we often worry about future events that never turn out to be as bad as we originally thought. So in the time from the initial thought, up and until the event, we have "destroyed" a period of time that could have been significantly more enjoyable. Now there are cases that are inevitable, like the eventual death as a result of a terminal disease, but even with these occurrences, the death component is going to occur when your time is finished on earth, but the life element is up to you. Remember, F-e-a-r is only False Evidence Appearing Real.
To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
41–50 of 59 posts
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#42it's not irrational. it's fear off lack of control for ones live. I do not know how to fly an airplane. I do not know the commander. I do know how to pilot a bike. I ride a bike in heavy traffic at high speeds. Despite the death rate for the bike case is higher, i crap myself on an airplane. because i'm not in control.
A friend of mine flies 737s for one of the major airlines, and he once told me, "When I'm up in the air I don't give a damn about the 150 people behind me. I'm sure as hell going to take care of myself though, and if I make it through they don't have much choice but to follow me." You may not be in control, but the pilot is, and he wants to make it to his destination just as much as you do.
Well, you hope so anyway. There is always the chance that your pilot is in the process of getting a divorce or losing his/her house, going bankrupt, or something and decides to hell with it all. But your friend is right, either way, the people in the back have no choice but to follow.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#43On the concept of control, one thing that has been effective for me in helping me get over my fear of heights it trying not to control my fear. It's sounds strange, but the more I try to control the fear the worse it gets but if I just let it come and don't get caught up in the tug of war of my anxious thoughts and feelings but force myself to carry on regardless of my thoughts or feelings (which I know to be irrational anyway) I find that the fear tends to fade on its own.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#44it's not irrational. it's fear off lack of control for ones live. I do not know how to fly an airplane. I do not know the commander. I do know how to pilot a bike. I ride a bike in heavy traffic at high speeds. Despite the death rate for the bike case is higher, i crap myself on an airplane. because i'm not in control.
And then you walk into a subway store and pick up a sandwich, the spinach you wanted for good health had E.Coli.
You contract Gastrointestinal infection and then you die.
My dad used to say "At the end of the day we all are alive because of the trust we have for one another". Whether you know that person or not, we inherently place that trust in others.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#45His fear of private aircraft is comparatively rational. The big commercial carriers have a far better safety record.
But he'd probably have his choice of seats.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#46Earlier quoted context omitted.
Oh, they work for me. They mainly work on the physical side effects of anxiety -- the muscle tension, pain in the chest, etc. I need to also take a melatonin to be able to sleep. The mental fear is still up to you. Usually I just embrace it and take the moment of takeoff as a time to reflect on my own mortality -- if you can come to terms with the chance of your early, violent death then there is no need to panic.
It's been theorized and shown in various studies that a lot of a drug effectiveness due to the placebo effect, so it may be that if you don't think it will help you it's likely not to.
Yeah. I have a relative who is deathly afraid of flying and she has tried taking anxiety meds. She said they just make want to talk to strangers more about how scared she is. ha ha. It breaks down normal social barriers but she is still deathly afraid. I think she'd rather try to keep it to herself as much as possible.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#47Fear is a really interesting thing... If you can control people's fears, you pretty much control everything. Currently on display in US healthcare "debate"...
The controlling of people's fear in your usage is also known as manipulation. You're right that it works quite well since it takes advantage of the emotion parts of our psyche that are more fully evolved in us than the newer rational thinking parts.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#48I'll share something my mom said to me when I was scared of flying as a kid: "They pilot doesn't want to die either". That has more-or-less destroyed any fear I have of flying.
I agree.
I was recently 4 hours into a flight from Chicago to Germany on a large double-decker Airbus when I started smelling smoke on the plane.
Suddenly I see flight attendants running to the back of the plane with fire extinguishers. Other flight attendants are running to the front of the plane with bottles of liquor.
The captain comes over the intercom: "Flight attendants, prepare for emergency landing"
Over the next 5 minutes I watch how different people react to the scenario. Some people grab hands, some start to pray, some people just close their eyes. Others start demanding up-to-the-minute information about our situation.
Without warning, we hit the ground. In a made-for-the-movies moment, the entire plane erupts in applause.
The rest of my trip I was a little nervous getting back on planes. However, the one thing that helped me keep things in perspective was something the flight-attendant said during our emergency landing:
"I have a husband in Germany. I don't want to die either. We're doing everything we can."
Simple and rational. It always works for me too.
FYI, the smoke turned out to be a coffee maker--and after several hours stuck on the tarmac in Newfoundland, we were on our way again.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#49The other thing about flying:
I cannot even possibly describe to anybody who hasn't spent time in the captain's chair how good of a job the FAA and the aircraft manufacturers do planning for EVERYTHING.
You practically have to ask for clearance, then follow a checklist, when you scratch your beard.
Re: To fasten your seatbelt, insert the flap into the buckle
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
So I wonder if taking a few lessons in a cessna 150 would allay this guys fears?
Maybe. But flying in small general-aviation aircraft, the risk of anything happening is a lot higher than with transport aircraft... Seems funny to start doing something riskier in order to be able to do something less risky...
Actually, that seems exactly right. People do exaggerated versions of what they're afraid of to get over the fear all the time. Phobic about being near snakes? A class that cures you will involve handling snakes, rather than merely being close to them.