This is what I've always done.
Are there really people out there who feel the need to explain themselves to carwash attendants and waiters???
On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
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Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#12The subtler point of this article is that a simple no is a good test of your authority- service personnel, students, people he had power over; they had to except his "no." Girlfriend? Not so much. The power in question isn't the added power of using the word- it's the way the word reveals the power dynamics at play. He didn't gain more authority by using the word; the word revealed to him his authority and its limits…
> they had to except his "no."
They didn't. They could have asked for explanations, justifications, clarifications. He might have given them or not, might have continued the conversation or not (as he notes he did with a student), but that doesn't mean they had to accept his "no" for an answer.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#13A "No" could have prevented http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Shuttle_Columbia_disaster
Timing is everything.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#14This is what I've always done. Are there really people out there who feel the need to explain themselves to carwash attendants and waiters???
I think it depends on how helpful the person is being. Saying no to carwash guy is easy, but "can I take that bag for you" suggests a sincere effort to make my expereince more pleasurable as well as an effort to go out of the way to do the best job, not just any passable job. This usually gets "no, thanks" or "thanks, I'll mananage".
Now after reading this article I'm not sure if my reaction is adequate in the latter case.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#15" But when he really did ask if he and a couple of buddies could have a few beers at my house, I just said no. No follow-up, no prevarication, no buddying up for a sympathy injection. " While I see the purpose of a clear 'No', in some cases, it just seems like it's rather jerkish even if said in a nice tone. How hard is it to say instead, "No, and that is final; my reason is such and such, just so that you know"? I k…
If I would his kid, I wouldn't ask the next time.
Чем унижаться и просить, лучше спиздить и молчать. Especially when you've got a parent who really believes in drinking age. Duh, I have a bridge to sell.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#16Also, try using "fine" as a way of consenting to something rather than "yes"
It conveys the same certainty and closure as "no"
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#17" But when he really did ask if he and a couple of buddies could have a few beers at my house, I just said no. No follow-up, no prevarication, no buddying up for a sympathy injection. " While I see the purpose of a clear 'No', in some cases, it just seems like it's rather jerkish even if said in a nice tone. How hard is it to say instead, "No, and that is final; my reason is such and such, just so that you know"? I k…
True. The guy who brought his kids up with a proper understanding of rhetoric definitely did a better educational job.
The kids of Dr. No, however, will grow up being people who can't express themselves, and inevitably provoke conflict by being obstinate and seeing themselves mostly in the right because of their authority.
They will not value reason.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#18I think some of the article is compelling, but when he's talking about service personnel he just sounds like a jerk. A waiter who asks whether he wants fresh ground pepper is "attempting to dominate the transaction"? Taking care of you is a waiter's job.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#19I think some of the article is compelling, but when he's talking about service personnel he just sounds like a jerk. A waiter who asks whether he wants fresh ground pepper is "attempting to dominate the transaction"? Taking care of you is a waiter's job .
When dealing with service personnel one can morph a simple "no." into a "No, thank you." Polite but similarly final.
Re: On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."
#20The title get's it right. "No" is about power. I prefer "yes", which is less about power and more about getting things done. Interesting article. Will I ignore OP's advice and keep doing what I always have? Yes.
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