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Always Talk to Strangers

theatlantic.com

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Re: Always Talk to Strangers

#3

Post by michael_h »

Sounds good.

Step 0: overcome social anxiety and general awkwardness.

Edit: to make this comment a little less pithy, I will say that I've ordered 'What to Talk About', and it has lessened the looming daemon of small talk...somewhat. (http://www.amazon.com/What-Talk-About-Cocktail-Elevator/dp/1...)

Re: Always Talk to Strangers

#5

Post by thinkalone »

michael_h wrote: post #3

Sounds good. Step 0: overcome social anxiety and general awkwardness. Edit: to make this comment a little less pithy, I will say that I've ordered 'What to Talk About', and it has lessened the looming daemon of small talk...somewhat. ( http://www.amazon.com/What-Talk-About-Cocktail-Elevator/dp/1... )

I've found "Conversationally Speaking" quite helpful, also: http://www.amazon.com/Conversationally-Speaking-Increase-Per... An easy read with practical tips on how to communicate with others in various situations.

Re: Always Talk to Strangers

#7

Post by graeme »

michael_h wrote: post #3

Sounds good. Step 0: overcome social anxiety and general awkwardness. Edit: to make this comment a little less pithy, I will say that I've ordered 'What to Talk About', and it has lessened the looming daemon of small talk...somewhat. ( http://www.amazon.com/What-Talk-About-Cocktail-Elevator/dp/1... )

Step 0 seems impossible, but you really just have to talk to people. I say this as a formerly very shy, awkward person.

Start by talking to people you have on interest in talking to. Don't approach an attractive member of the opposite sex or a businessperson. Instead, say hello to an elderly person you normally wouldn't look twice at.

Or try to make cashiers laugh. Brighten up people's day. If you just talk consistently, you'll get better. Talking to people is a skill like any other.

Re: Always Talk to Strangers

#8

Post by shanusmagnus »

graeme wrote: post #7
michael_h wrote: post #3

Sounds good. Step 0: overcome social anxiety and general awkwardness. Edit: to make this comment a little less pithy, I will say that I've ordered 'What to Talk About', and it has lessened the looming daemon of small talk...somewhat. ( http://www.amazon.com/What-Talk-About-Cocktail-Elevator/dp/1... )

Step 0 seems impossible, but you really just have to talk to people. I say this as a formerly very shy, awkward person. Start by talking to people you have on interest in talking to. Don't approach an attractive member of the opposite sex or a businessperson. Instead, say hello to an elderly person you normally wouldn't look twice at. Or try to make cashiers laugh. Brighten up people's day. If you just talk consisten…

Can't agree with this enough: however impossible you think being social is, it all starts with being able to do small things. You have a million opportunities a day to do _something_ that will begin the tiny and endless work of getting comfortable and feeling like every interaction with another human won't make or break you.

So yeah, say something to the cashier. Ask the barista if they changed the chairs. Ask the guy who takes your parking ticket if he knows a good restaurant. You have to make a beginning, trite as it sounds, and no beginning is too small to help.

Re: Always Talk to Strangers

#9

Post by ahmadss »

michael_h wrote: post #3

Sounds good. Step 0: overcome social anxiety and general awkwardness. Edit: to make this comment a little less pithy, I will say that I've ordered 'What to Talk About', and it has lessened the looming daemon of small talk...somewhat. ( http://www.amazon.com/What-Talk-About-Cocktail-Elevator/dp/1... )

Rejection Therapy [1][2] is a fun and interesting way to overcome phobias and anxiety. Since the game is framed around "seeking rejection", it feels OK to approach someone and start a conversation and get rejected because the metric is "did I fail to start a conversation" rather than "was I able to sustain a conversation". If you fail, you win. And when you inevitably don't get rejected and are able to sustain a conversation, you realize that this also is a win. Try it out and report back!

[1] - http://rejectiontherapy.com/ [2] - http://www.fearbuster.com/100-days-of-rejection-therapy/

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